Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel on “Despierta America”

Posted on July 09, 2014

Imaginary conversation to go with those shocked expressions:

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel make an appearance on “Despierta America” to promote their new movie “Sex Tape.” Cameron Diaz is wearing a Saint Laurent dress paired with Prada sandals.

Cam: J, help me out here. You speak Spanish, right?

Jason: What?!?

Aaaaaannd Scene.

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Saint Laurent Short-Sleeve Fluttering Silk Heart-Print Dress

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (8)Prada Studded Suede Sandals

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Despierta-America-Saint-Laurent-Prada-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

BONUS SCENE:

Cam: Ohmigod! They want us to do the robot? Do I have that right?

With the creative writing exercise out of the way, here are your clothing scores:

Her: That’s a cute dress. The sleeves are way too tricky for television, but the print and the shape really suit her. Killer shoes. So-so hair. Score: 8/10

Him: Truthbomb time, guys – and you’re not gonna like this one. You can’t really get away with an untucked shirt under a suit jacket. You just can’t. Because we said so, that’s why. It’s only made worse when the jacket’s too tight, as it is here. And Jason? Your co-star had her feet buffed and polished and then shoved them into the latest pair of an endless succession of bone-crunching footwear, the cumulative lifetime effect of which will likely mangle her feet by the time she reaches retirement age. Put on some fucking shoes. Score: 2/10.

Combined Score: 5/10. Cam, you have our permission to bring one of those stilettos down firmly on top of his flimsy canvas shoes.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty Images, bergdorfgoodman.com, saksfifthavenue.com]

    • hughman

      This must be the Worst Dating Show ever.

      • Meg0GayGuys6

        Oh man I WISH this were a dating show! Where can I sign up?! Jason Segel is numero uno on my Celebrity to do list ;) I’m so glad it looks like he put back on a few elbees since the last time I saw him. Love him a lil chunky :)

        • hughman

          Lol. Well tell us how you really feel!

        • Kent Roby

          He’s a funny dork with a big, um, “personality”; what’s not to love? Plus, there’s that Professor Higgens dating fantasy of eventually steering him into clothes that fit.

        • Tlazolteotl

          With you! I think that I like him so much because he reads “normal guy.” Jason Segal is up there for me, but Mike Rowe from the Dirty Jobs TV show is my #1.

          • Meg0GayGuys6

            Oh Mike Rowe! What I wouldn’t do to him… Dirty Jobs, indeed.

          • bringbackbeatles

            Love Mike Rowe! He is definitely up there for me too. I was watching these old Deadliest Catch after shows where he interviews the captains and mmmmmm.

    • Alyssa

      I like the dress and shoes a lot. But seriously…WTF is up with ladystars not getting their hair done?! As far as he goes, he just looks slobby. And she looks like she can’t get far enough away when they’re sitting down.

      • marlie

        Cammy is one of the worst offenders. She hardly ever looks like she does her hair for the red carpet/appearances. It bugs.

        • teensmom99

          I give her a bit of a pass because part of having short hair is that the maintenance should be easier.

          • Alyssa

            I agree that the maintenance should be easier, but it is also easier & faster to fix for appearances when it’s short. She always looks to me like she just remembered she had somewhere to be and did her hair as hastily as possible.

            • teensmom99

              And I only noticed after I posted that her hair is now long. LOL–I must be stuck in 1998.

    • dustdevilliz

      Their posture on the couch makes my back hurt.

      • Stella Zawistowski

        Word. Shoulders back, tits out, Jason!

    • random_poster

      The scrolldown fug with him is ridiculous. They look like a couple on a blind date. She realized she can’t find her phone, and therefore won’t get the fake call from the friend designated to provide her with the out, so panic is setting in.

    • @Biting Panda

      I feel like they both maybe started their day with a little blow and a shot of tequila.

    • NBG

      And the award for cringe-worthiest pole-dance goes to…these TWO! They look so uncomfortable together. Who wants to pay to see two more hours of this in a theater?

      And somebody hire Jason a damn stylist already. This is just embarrassing.

      • FibonacciSequins

        It is kind of hard to buy them as a couple.

    • Kent Roby

      I heart her dress. (Thanks, Folks, I’ll be here all week!).

      • hughman

        Try the meatloaf!!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      I would really love a documentary where actresses and models talk about their foot wear where they describe what they go through to wear it. I grew up thinking that they were just “born with it”. It would be the “Good Hair” of women’s feet.

      • Sobaika

        I heard they get fat injected into the bottoms of their feet for extra cushion.

        • smayper

          I SO want that to be true. It’s perfectly gruesome and helps me feel less inadequate for my own lack of ability to wear killer shoes.

        • marlie

          I’ve heard that too. Fat, collagen, something.

      • MissusBee

        Brilliant idea. I was totally going to buy pain relief gel to rub on the soles of my feet for a friend’s wedding as I just can’t anymore, yet my legs look way too stumpy in flats (pants are not acceptable wedding garb where I live and maxi length is tricky as you look like you’re trying to be a bridesmaid). Those gel pads you can buy are useless. What IS a gal to do?

        • Sarah

          SUFFER. And remain seated as much as possible.

        • giddypony

          Ouchy shoes, then get drunk and take them off.

          • MissusBee

            Thank you truth-speakers. I will resign myself to my fate/feet. My feety-fate.

            • Sarah

              Feety-fate! Poor feeties. Just think how nice it’ll be to soak ‘em after the party.

            • kimmeister

              I see I’m not the only one who says “feeties.” From a fellow grammarian, to boot!

            • Sarah

              If one knows the correct grammar, one is then free to mangle it. #personalmotto

            • demidaemon

              EXACTLY. As long as you admit to your follies, as well. ;)

            • MoHub

              Exactly. And the difference between making ignorance-based errors and deliberately playing with the language is usually discernible.

            • marlie

              And to add, pack a pair of flats for when you just can’t take it any more.

          • MilaXX

            My biggest pet peeve is people who take their shoes off at receptions. So tacky.

            • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

              Word!

            • decormaven

              This is when one takes a cute pair of flats to slip on for the reception. Save the stilts for the ceremony and the formal pictures.

            • MilaXX

              Exactly. Drunken barefootedness is for frat parties not weddings.

            • Violentcello

              Ugh. I just imagined walking around barefoot at the single frat house at my college and threw up in my mouth a little.

            • marlie

              Wedding #4 in the Spring-Summer 2014 Wedding Season for this kitten, and I totally agree with you. Some people don’t like it, but I prefer when people even bring a pair of flats to change into later. SO much better.

              At the last wedding I attended, one of the groomsmen dropped his glass on the dance floor and it shattered. Why go barefoot when there’s a chance of something like this happening?

            • yllas

              I went through hell stretching out my cute pewter leather sandals for a wedding. They still hurt! When I got there, I put on my old mary jane style Crocs. Which I suppose is a huger no-no than taking the shoes off altogether. It was an outdoor reception, dancing and drinks on a wharf, around sunset. I don’t think anyone was looking at my feet. I did wear them during the wedding and on previous occasions (rehearsal dinner,etc.)

            • MilaXX

              I’d prefer comfy shoes over no shoes. I buy those fold up slipper flats in case of emergency. They can fold up and fit inside my bag.

        • MilaXX

          You’re gonna laugh at this. Those insole’s Heidi’s been shilling actually work. I got a free pair as a bzzaagent and tried them out. I was pleasantly surprised. I also find wedges are a nice compromise between heels & flats.

        • FibonacciSequins

          Wedges or stacked heels are easier on the feet than narrow heels. Also buy shoes with some room in the toe box.

        • kimmeister

          I like the Dr. Scholl’s silicone (?) stick that looks like a glue stick and it helps prevent chafing from the edges of your shoes.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

          Wedges.

        • Kim Elmore

          TIEKS

      • Sarah

        My theory is that they start wearing heels as soon as they can walk. Like, age two. So, by the time they are adults, it’s no problem to run down a cobblestone street in stilettos while hailing a cab.

        • FibonacciSequins

          I used to be capable of that. I wore pointy-toed stiletto heels day and night. I could run down an icy, snow-covered street in them without falling. Ah, youth!

          • MilaXX

            ah yes, the 20’s I remember them well. I could probably have run track in my heels.

            • Sarah

              I grew up with a flat-wearin’ moms. I have worn (real, not wedge) heels less than 20 times in my life. The best I can muster is a stately hobble.

            • FibonacciSequins

              Practice makes perfect. But you risk permanent foot damage with the high-heel lifestyle, so it’s probably best to stick to comfy flats.

        • fursa_saida

          Ran down a cobbled street in SLIDES when I was 15. I have never attempted anything like that again because I figure I should quit while I’m ahead.

      • Alyssa

        Ballet was good training to walk in heels. I did pointe for years, and have no problem walking in 6″ heels. Except for the knee pain, from the years of ballet.

      • mixedupfiles

        I just listened yesterday to a podcast on the whys and wherefores of heels. (99% Invisible, a design podcast.) It wasn’t really along these lines, but pretty interesting. Napoleon wore kitten heels.

        A comfort secret is perfect fit across the widest part of the foot, where the feet meet the toes. A snug fit acts as a kind of buttressing, maybe?

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        Also – they stay thin. The fatter I get the lower my heels have to be because my knees and the balls of my feet just cannot deal with my weight on a high heel. I’m always impressed when I see a plus-size actress in really high heels who is smiling.

        • FrigidDiva

          I bow to Melissa McCarthy. I’m about the same height and probably a size or two smaller than her and I can’t even begin to imagine wearing the shoes she does.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

            Oh I know – and she always looks so cheerful in them!

    • Danielle

      I really love that print on her, wow! I was prepared to hate it based on the tricky sleeves, but it’s killer standing up.

    • JasmineAM

      I am really hating her hair. That part is awful.

    • smh4748

      I really like her look, especially the dress. I’m not against a ponytail here, because I think it sort of fits this dress, but it’s a smidge too sloppy–and I don’t know if the faint center part with it is really great.

    • Sarah

      Isn’t Jason Segel rather incredibly tall? And yet his jeans are still too long. They must be for stilt walkers.

    • jeneria

      These two are two of my irrational dislikes so it’s hard to be objective. She always looks like an orange muppet to me and he just bugs me. But really, what ever possessed him to wear those shoes on television? Especially with the puddly jeans?

    • Mothra

      Rumpled Segalson.

    • MilaXX

      Agreed. I’m happy to see Cam wearing a dress that’s not too shiny & tight. Jason as much as I love him, is a slob. He looks terrible here.

    • FibonacciSequins

      Why is Jason’s jacket too small, but his pants are too long? It’s terribly unfair that he can get away with wearing the equivalent of house slippers while Cam’s expected to smile through the pain of wearing strappy heels.

      Like her dress.

      • teensmom99

        Forgot to mention too long pants in my anti-shoddy-styling-for-men rant.

      • martha

        I wish “bone-crushing…feet mangling” shoes were not considered necessary for a woman to be properly dressed.

    • Tricia

      No to his outfit, but he looks great. Lovin the beard.

      Also, I saw a red band trailer for their movie when I went to see Jump St, and I was really underwhelmed. I’m biased though because I do not like Ms Diaz at all.

      • In_Stitches

        I love her and I’m underwhelmed by the trailers. The jokes are stale as is the premise. I want to like it because when she does comedy, it tends to be great (see Bad Teacher), but it just doesn’t look like it’s going to be.

    • Wink

      I know they’re actors playing roles, but they just don’t seem like they would ever be a couple.

    • MK03

      The first photo just screams “My agent told me this was Good Morning America!”

    • mayanempire

      Jason’s “line” in the “first scene” could have also alluded to Cam’s Spanish surname, but back to the clothes. I like the print on her, but is that dress not just a stitch bubblegum for her?

    • sugarkane105

      I need a ModCloth-type knockoff of that dress, STAT. I love it!

    • Imasewsure

      His is the opposite of Rihanna’s DGAF awesomeness… makes me want to slap him but clearly he woke up in the bushes so I guess I’ll let it go this time

    • ConnieBV

      So they have an earpiece, like the UN, where they have an interpreter that simultaneously interprets as she speaks into SP and it is dubbed over her voice as she speaks, and she receives the English in her ear. She is part Cuban, and although she doesn’t speak the language she was raised with the culture, food and retains fond memories she has spoken of before. Her salsa, though, is not up to par. :)

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      I confuse him with Seth Rogan all the time.

    • http://msavonelljrose.blogspot.com Avonell

      Jason looks cute w/ some facial hair.

    • quiltrx

      These two are SO apples/oranges to me. I can’t imagine why they were cast as a couple.
      That dress is WAY too short for this appearance…obviously she didn’t know where/upon what she’d be sitting, because that’s a “cooter coverup” sitting position if ever I’ve seen one.
      And come on Jason…if you’re going to pull a Tom Cruise, the stuff has to look new, clean, and neat. An expensive lack of effort, if you will.

      • Tee

        She’s not hooched up enough for Spanish talk shows. She looks like a nun next to female Spanish-speaking hosts. He’s a hot mess fashion-wise, but he’s super talented and cute so he gets a pass.

        • Tee

          And CamCam’s shoes are to die for.

    • In_Stitches

      He’s wearing one of my fashion pet peeves: a jacket and pants in near matching colors. It looks like a lazy attempt to try and simulate a suit. You can’t fake your way to a suit. Hell, throw on some jeans and he’d look more presentable in my book.

    • boweryboy

      Sometimes I watch Despierta America for the gorgeous eye candy. I neither speak nor understand a lick of Spanish…

      • Alyssa

        I love this. When I used to travel for work, I would occasionally watch Spanish soaps and make up my own dialogue. I too neither speak nor understand any Spanish.

        • boweryboy

          I still do that!

    • Rhonda Shore

      I keep trying to get through on this point to my son but he’s only 16: “You can’t really get away with an untucked shirt under a suit jacket.”

    • marlie

      If he were wearing even *nicer* and better-fitting versions of his outfit here, I’d be a little more generous. I don’t hate the untucked shirt as much as the uncles, but the untucked shirt + slightly too small jacket + too baggy pants + canvas loafers = too sloppy. Plus, he’s grey, head to toe.

    • teensmom99

      Again, the gentleman has gained weight since the stylist put the outfit together and the stylist doesn’t bother to get him different clothes and/or do a quick bit of tailoring. Then he could have a shirt that could be tucked in and a jacket that fits. Arrrgggh. Shoddy work, stylist! And kind of sexist to care so much about the ladies and then drop the ball for male clients.

      • teensmom99

        Just to clarify–not a body snark re weight gain–peoples’ weight fluctuates and that’s okay but the clothes should accommodate.

    • Shawn EH

      At least his face and hair look nice?

    • kimmeister

      I find the print on that dress really childish. Looks like an elementary school Valentine’s Day project.

      • Gatto Nero

        With Joan Crawford shoulders.

    • what not

      God, his pants, no.

    • demidaemon

      Their expressions perfectly catalogue their fish out of water-ness, and how utterly confused they are by it all. I love it.

      By the way, how D-list is making an appearance on this show to schill your movie? Curious minds truly want to know.

    • siriuslover

      It’s like he showed up at the country club without a jacket and they forced him into one left at lost and found. It just doesn’t seem to go. I love Jason, but come on, dude, work for it!

    • livesarah

      I don’t like the dress, but she makes it look good. And those shoes, while pretty basic, go really well.

    • https://plus.google.com/+FrankLithiumz/posts Frank Lithium

      I hate people who think that throwing on a suit jacket will take care of everything else. It doesn’t.

    • swissgirl

      I just don’t get his appeal. He’s an oafish schlumpf.

    • FrigidDiva

      When I first read the title for the post my brain saw “Desperate American” which I think fits the poledance for this movie perfectly.

    • kerryev

      I love the guys in the band checking her out in the first shot (and, of course, the conclusion to the combined score).

    • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

      Great commentary about his and her shoe ware, guys.