Natalie Portman in Christian Dior at the 2014 Shanghai International Film Festival

Natalie’s just so damn tasteful all the time that we can’t help but picture her as completely foul-mouthed and crass behind closed doors. It’s more entertaining that way to assume she talks like a sailor on leave.

PinNatalie Portman attends the closing and award ceremony of the 2014 Shanghai International Film Festival at Shanghai Grand Theatre in Shanghai, China in a Christian Dior black sleeveless gown with printed bodice and accessorized with a Richard Mille watch.

PinChristian Dior Resort 2015 Collection

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Very tasteful and elegant, in a “meeting world leaders” kind of way. But the proportions are so wrong for her. She’s a tiny little thing and she clearly doesn’t need such a high waist on her getups. Although to be fair, the proportions don’t seem to be working much better on the model. We’re not sure how a designer looks at a dress like this and doesn’t see how much it obscures the natural shape of a woman’s body – and not in an interesting or expressive way. More in a “let’s turn a gamine into a waistless brick.” way.

Also, that giant outside pocket looks like a satin blister. There. We said it.

[Photo Credit: ImagineChina/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Christian Dior]

• Christian Dior
• Festivals
• Red Carpet
• Richard Mille
• Shanghai International Film Festival