Colton Haynes at “Arrow” Madrid Photocall

Posted on June 10, 2014

He’s like a perfect little fashion doll. He can wear anything.

Colton-Haynes-Arrow-Madrid-Photocall-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Colton Haynes attends photocall for “Arrow” at the Villamagna Hotel in Madrid, Spain.

Colton-Haynes-Arrow-Madrid-Photocall-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Colton-Haynes-Arrow-Madrid-Photocall-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Colton-Haynes-Arrow-Madrid-Photocall-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Colton-Haynes-Arrow-Madrid-Photocall-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

We want one for Christmas.

And now, the nitpickery: To our eyes, that jacket looks too structured and formal for what he’s trying to do. A slouchier one, perhaps even in linen, would’ve worked slightly better. Same goes for the shoes. Too shiny. Way more appropriate for a tuxedo than jeans. Also: we are so not on board with the trend of deliberately bad cuffing. Like the half-tucked t-shirt trend of the early aughts, we find it unbearably pretentious.

And now, a Public Service Announcement: This “Miami Vice” redux really works for him, but if you’re under 35 you might not know this, but trust on this one, boys: IT IS NOT A LOOK THAT WORKS ON EVERYONE. The late ’80s was a horror-filled time. Trust us. We were there.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: GTRES/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

    • RussellH88

      I know what Miami Vice is.

      Mainly through Golden Girls reruns.

      • Jennifer Bober

        Baby!

        • RussellH88

          I pride myself on being fairly pop culture educated. So even though I’ve never seen an episode, so I know that Miami Vice = Don Johnson in pastel colored blazers.

          • smayer

            That. And when I was a kid, my uncle had two dogs named Crockett and Tubbs.

            • Glam Dixie

              Omg, that’s hilarious. My husband watched that awful show religiously and I hated it with a burning passion.

            • MilaXX

              I LOVED this show. Loved it. Watched every episode, had the clothing :::shudder:: the whole nine yards.

            • Glam Dixie

              He used to watch the re-runs in bed every night from 10 until 11:00 pm and I had to get up at 5 am every morning for work so that’s probably most of why I hated it so much.

            • MilaXX

              I still watch the reruns. *hangs head in shame* My favs are the ones where they are chasing Colderone. Thank goodness social media wasn’t around then because I may or may not have had a jherri curl around that time.

            • Jacqueline Wessel

              I love to laugh at their giant “portable phones.”

            • MilaXX

              My best friend had one. She kept it in the trunk because the battery life was next to nil and the charger looked like a car battery

            • decormaven

              The Sheena Easton influence.

            • conniemd

              Me too. My hubby and I both loved it. And Tubbs wore the same kind of cool casual as Crockett (Don Johnson). It was Miami hip drug culture to the max. Looks good on Colton Haynes. You need a special kinda cool look to get away with it. (A male version of Everyone Wants to Be Me, except they could care less about that.)

          • Rhonda Shore

            I dated an asshole who said that Don Johnson’s look was modeled on him. He probably is now telling babes that Don Draper’s look was also modeled on him.

          • Grumpy Girl

            My boyfriend at the time loved that show, so we watched it together. He had the jacket and everything. At the time, I liked him anyway, but it did get kind of noxious walking around central NC with someone who was clearly trying to be Crockett . . .

      • YoungSally

        I get a whiff of Jason Priestly

        From BH 90210 (the original) – for you young’uns

      • Alloy Jane

        Lol, you are cracking me up today.

    • PastryGoddess

      hmmmm, I prefer my sausage and cheese a bit more aged than this

    • Glam Dixie

      Please remove the Bieber from your eyebrows and forehead immediately. He looks cute, I agree about your nitpicks but I can’t really complain about the clothes too much.

    • sienna elm

      He looks like a “New Kid”!

      e.t.a. – back when they were new…

      • Anna

        He needs to follow T-Lo’s suggestions on how to improve his outfit, Step By Step.

        • Kitten Mittons

          Most definitely, but he’s got The Right Stuff to pull it off with minor adjustments.

          • Anna

            I’ll be loving him once he does!

            • Kitten Mittons

              You win, the only other one I can remember is Happy Birthday :)

            • Anna

              I was a bit of a fan growing up ;-). This thread totally made my day!

            • Kitten Mittons

              I was all about Jordan. Le sigh….

            • Anna

              Oh God, me too. Before there were Twihards, there was my NKOTB fan-dom. I shudder to think what it would’ve been like had we had the access and social media available nowadays.

            • Kitten Mittons

              Yes, you’re right. I’m truly grateful that my tween years were pre-twitter.

    • antheapena

      and you need to WITFU if you’re re-doing Miami Vice

      • MilaXX

        Speaking of which does anybody remember him playing bad guy of the week on Miami Vice? It was probably a year before he landed Moonlighting.

        • Grumpy Girl

          Yes! Afore-mentioned boyfriend adored Willis, as well as Crockett.

    • Imasewsure

      He must be a really tiny person… he looks so cute but also like a miniature for some reason. The coat is really nice but not the outfit as our dear uncles have pointed out.. And please don’t bring back the 80′s any more than we have to… it wasn’t pretty!!

      • Jennifer Bober

        According to IMDB he’s 5’9″. So, not super short, but not all that tall either.

        • Imasewsure

          Hmmmm yes he looks so much smaller than that… it’s probably just the cuffing and the cut of the clothes (and because he looks 12). Thanks for the research!!

          • Thomas

            He looks 12?! God, I must look like a newborn then.

        • FunButNutz

          He’s much shorter than 5’9″…..he’s probably more around 5’5″

          • FibonacciSequins

            He looks more like 5’5″. He also has an Alec Baldwin-sized head. Actually now that I think about it, he could pass for a Baldwin cousin, at least.

          • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

            I literally bumped into him inside the tents at fashion week and he’s definitely in the 5’9″ range.

    • frannyprof

      He is just like a doll! Stiff and pose-able and only one facial expression!

      • CPT_Doom

        He has three facial expressions – straight on, left profile AND right profile. Sure the eyes and mouth don’t ever change, but give the guy some credit :-)

    • Lori

      Heed the uncles. The late 80s were rough. Learn from our mistakes young ‘uns and tread carefully.

    • ashtangajunkie

      He looks like if Channing Tatum and Justin Bieber had a baby. So I can only allow myself to find him 50% cute.

      • AnaRoW

        I was going to say Bieber’s long-lost brother. He’s got the douchey facial expression down pat.

      • Thomas

        I don’t get what’s so hot about Channing Tatum. I think Colton’s face is much more attractive.

        • ashtangajunkie

          Channing Tatum’s body is so good that he could be faceless. I wouldn’t notice.

          • Thomas

            You should see Colton’s body. It’s even better than Channing’s.

    • jilly_d

      the douche is wafting off this one. someone take him away.

    • decormaven

      Shoes definitely the wrong choice for a “Miami Vice Redux” look .

      • Glam Dixie

        Yeah, he needs some white loafers with no socks. *shudder*

        • decormaven

          White tassle Gucci loafers ala the late Lewis Grizzard.

      • kimmeister

        And who wears tasseled patent shoes with jeans! TASSELED!

    • boweryboy

      Each individual article of clothing is nice on its own, but altogether combined with the hair, the posing, the blank stare, and the scrunched up jacket sleeves reeks of A Night at the Roxbury Axe cologne levels of douchey-ness. I bet he’s a totally nice guy but his outfit of choice reads differently.

      And yes to the horrors of ’80s fashion. I shredded every single embarassing fashion disaster photo of me from the ’80s (and there were a lot and I was studying to be a fashion designer to boot so you can just imagine…) but I kept the negatives, just in case.

      • FibonacciSequins

        Don’t forget the pale white hand contrasted with the orange face. Either put the makeup on all over, or keep your hands down.

        • boweryboy

          Yes! This made me realize I forgot to mention the silly bracelets in my accessment as well.

          • FibonacciSequins

            Who can blame you? There was so much to mention.

        • kimmeister

          BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I had to scroll back up to check that out, and it was so worth it.

        • Jaeda Laurez

          You win. I can’t unsee that now.

      • MilaXX

        YES! Night at the Roxbury realness. It’s all so studied. The jacket, the too shiny shoes. the bracelet, the perfect hair. It’s too much and feels very try hard.

      • marlie

        “A Night at the Roxbury Axe cologne levels of douchey-ness.” I love this.

    • Latin Buddy

      Gross no. Everything is too “so”

      Twink with borrowed clothes. Pass

    • queenofpie

      Brandon Walsh realness

      • Imasewsure

        Yes that is what I see too…. I suppose it’s a classic Hollywood white boy look and it must be replicated.

      • malarson2

        Sorry, just said the same thing above.

    • Danielle

      Giving me wisps of Bieber, I don’t know how to feel.

    • luludexter

      “The late ’80s was a horror-filled time.” Truth! I was there too.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      If it was linen, he’d be too directly referencing Sonny Crockett. My problem is that the jacket is too dressy for the jeans.

    • msdamselfly

      Those are great shoes

    • Shawn EH

      It’s the cuff buttons. Don’t like, always used to take em off my blazers.

    • gabbilevy

      I find it truly hilarious (and so very Hollywood fashion, that there’s clearly a deliberate trend of bad cuffing. Bad cuffing! Stylists really are a bunch of easily influenced sheep, aren’t they?

    • Jaeda Laurez

      The cuffs don’t disturb me, but I hate everything as a whole- it’s all very “bottle service with 9 of my boys.”

    • TinyDynamo

      While I Do Not Like this look, I will say that as far as “well thought out casual” goes, he’s doing pretty well. It’s definitely A Look, and not just random stuff picked out of a bin to wear in order to look casual. Ahem, Robert Pattinson, I’m looking in your sloppy direction.

      • marlie

        I suppose you have a point. He’s well-groomed, everything is clean, pressed, matches, and fits him. He definitely does have a leg up on a lot of other guystars his age.

        • TinyDynamo

          Exactly! While I think the look is pretty douchey, it’s at least clean, neat, and very well groomed. If the rest of the world can show up to work looking neat, clean, & presentable, I think the least these stars can do is attempt the same.

          • Kayceed

            It looks like he put in some thought and effort, and wanted to look sharp. It may not be perfect but I cut a lot of slack for effort. I can’t stand ironic sloppiness.

    • James

      Third photo from above for all the awards. You might go see a doc there buddy, your skin’s a bit off. Or if not that, at least use the same tan spray all over.

    • misstressofsylar

      Aside from that frown that reminds me so much of Bieber and Jaden Smith, his face pretty much is perfect to me. And yay for promoting Arrow overseas. Any chance to expand the audience can only mean better news for the series.

    • Frank_821

      He is a pretty thing. Wish he was more expressive. Not just as a model-as an actor as well

    • hughman

      He is a walking, talking Rickroll.

    • Steve Ek

      He needs to find a new foundation. It’s much yellower than the rest of him and making him look a little jaundiced.

    • Audrey Lee

      This guy is like the white Jaden Smith. Seriously, what’s with that FACE?

    • Shalhevet

      His eyebrows give him a very strange expression.

    • TwiddlyStun

      I think each of these photos should be a GIF in which he slowly removes his sunglasses.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Ooo, he’s cute, love that chin dimple.

    • LadyVimes

      Can he teach the other boystars lessons on How To Make An Effort? (looking at you in the dunce cap, Pattinson)
      He could co-teach with Matt Bomer. Now if you excuse me, I need some time with that image.

    • JynxTheCat

      Agree o the jacket for sure. Slouchier would have been better Disagree on the shoes. Love a dress show with denim. The crappier the denim the better. This kid however could wear a trashbag and look delish. ADORABLE. That FACE.

    • J. Preposterice

      well, that’s a mouth made for sin.

    • stephbellard

      I would watch Arrow if he and Stephen Amell were lovers…who had sex all the time.

    • malarson2

      Jason Priestly, where have you been?

    • demidaemon

      I thought the half tucked T-Shirt trend was still going on. Huh.

      He looks cute. I agree with TLo that the tone of the pieces aren’t working with each other.

    • mcbishop

      Ha!!! Loved your last lines! Miami Vice was the first thing that went through my mind. Saw an episode, by accident, the other night. (By ‘by accident’, I was flipping channels, saw it, and COULD NOT LOOK AWAY.) I cannot believe I once thought that show was hip.

    • JP

      Agree on the shoes. And at least he’s wearing socks. When I think of the blisters guys probably got in the ’80s…

    • Renaissance_Man_ATL

      He is one gorgeous man and I bet he’s going to age really well, like John Stamos and James Marsden. Woof!

    • https://plus.google.com/+FrankLithiumz/posts Frank Lithium

      The jacket is too heavy and he should have gone with a pair of monkstraps – unbuckled once and sockless.