Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel at the “Sex Tape” Barcelona Photocall

Posted on June 19, 2014

We’re sorry – and we mean this in the most non-gender-specific way – but what a couple of basic bitches:


Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Sex-Tape-Spain-Photocall-Roland-Mouret-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel attend photocall for “Sex Tape” in Barcelona, Spain. Cameron Diaz is wearing a Roland Mouret asymmetrical cocktail dress accessorized with Chelsea Paris sandals and Carbon & Hyde jewelry.

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Sex-Tape-Spain-Photocall-Roland-Mouret-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Sex-Tape-Spain-Photocall-Roland-Mouret-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Sex-Tape-Spain-Photocall-Roland-Mouret-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Cameron-Diaz-Jason-Segel-Sex-Tape-Spain-Photocall-Roland-Mouret-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Totally “co-workers of the bride.”

Except she’s the jealous, showy type who not only showed up at the wedding in white, but in a vaguely nippular, too-tight white. He took his tie off thirty seconds into cocktail hour and shoved it into his back pocket.

Come on, you two. You’re, like, movie stars and shit. Put a little style effort in. You’re making us grumpy. And the ironic thing is, it’s a photocall, which means we totally would’ve been fine with a kick-ass pair of jeans, cool footwear and a slightly dressy-cazh top half  – on both of them.





    • Kiltdntiltd

      Man do I hate how that dress fits her. Grrrrr. Ditto, his suit.

      • MoHub

        The left side looks as if someone tore out a strap or sleeve and then hemmed the torn part to cover the raw edge.

      • LadyVimes

        Serious titscrepancy going on in that bust.

        • demidaemon

          It is also emphasized with asymmetrical boob darts.

      • Glam Dixie

        Or, how that dress doesn’t fit her.

      • PhillyDeb

        WHY do ladystars insist on wearing dresses a size too small? Good Lord, we know that you are thin as rails. You don’t need to have all that pulling across the abdomen and outlines of your private parts for us to see and appreciate that.

    • decormaven

      Whoa, that is one tight dress. And full agreement on Jason S.; that’s a drinks after work on a weekday look before heading home to the missus.

    • Kristen

      Just because it zips doesn’t mean it fits.

      • Vivi N


      • Danielle

        Squeeing over here, a BK I know IRL!

        • Kristen

          Oh, hey, girlfriend! Just doing a little Cammy hatin’!

      • Judih1


    • Danielle

      Serious question, is anyone still shocked by the idea of a sex tape? This movie’s premise can’t be relavant to anyone anymore.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        My understanding is that the sex tape somehow gets out to everyone they know and that’s the antagonizing component, not just that a sex tape exists.

        Wait a sec, why are we still calling them sex “tapes”? Surely we as a country have switched to digital, right?

        • ktr33

          Sex apps?

        • hunt3002

          Linguistic quirks tend to have a fair amount of anachronism. I have multiple phones, yet it’s considered grammatical for me to use the article ‘the’ instead ‘a’ which is a throwback to when people only had when phone.

          On that note I’m going to stop nerding out.

          • MoHub

            Not to forget that we still use the verb dial when we talk about calling someone.

            • Alicia

              I had to show a young (mid 20s) person how to dial a phone last year. It was hilarious.

            • Heather

              Get off my lawn!

            • Grumpy Girl

              And the look of confusion of teens about spirally cord connecting the phone to the unit.

            • marlie

              I remember having to stretch the phone all the way into my room so I could have a “private” conversation. Even my younger cousins don’t know what I’m talking about.

            • Danielle

              And making the hand crank motion when we want someone to roll down a window.

            • Kent Roby

              that was one of Ellen Degeneres’ best routines!

            • Danielle

              EXACTLY the routine I was thinking of!!

            • Kent Roby

              That routine included the bit about flying, about how the couple of degrees of difference of the seat tilt were the difference between life and death in an accident!

            • Danielle

              Did it also include the bit about the moving walkways at airports? “They should really put cones around that pebble!”

            • Kent Roby

              I think so! I need to look that up, would love to see that performance again.

            • shirab

              We rented a car in Italy a couple of years ago, a cheap Ford of some kind, and when the kids got in the back seat they said “Hey, look! You can put these windows down with this handle!” They thought it was great fun and a major improvement. Husband and I were cracking up.

            • Danielle

              We had to show my 8 year old nephew how to wind up a cassette tape with his finger. Mindblowing.

          • Kent Roby

            For that matter, we still “dial” the numbers on a phone, we “roll” up our car windows, we print original “copies”, etc.

          • fursa_saida

            Or even in lots of fossilized (and, I’ll grant you, rarely used these days) phrases, like “kith and kin” or “vim and vigor.” Kith and vim no longer exist in English, yet there they are.

            • Laura Abrahamsen

              “Kith” and “vim” are my go-to WordJewels words. Let alone. Scrabble.

            • MoHub

              And Words With Friends.

        • Wink

          Adam Levine (Maroon 5) still sings about using a “pay phone.” When was the last time anyone (much less a rock star) used a pay phone?

          • kimmeister

            Yeah, that was hilarious to me too. A few still exist here and there, but I honestly have zero idea how much it would cost to make a call anymore.

            • MoHub

              “If I should call you up, invest a dime.”

            • kimmeister

              Ha! I always thought the lyric was “invest the time.” Mondegreen of the day.

            • MoHub

              Your mondegreen makes it timeless, whereas the real lyric dates the song.

              And me.

          • Kent Roby

            When that song came out, I would sing “I’m back in ’90, trying to call home”

        • Erica

          Hah. I’ve said to my 7-year old that we “taped” a show, and he just gives me a blank look and says “what”? It is still odd to me that my kids live in a world without tape recordings, for the most part. Or even CDs.

          • Heather

            I ask my college-age students how many of them have ever taken a non-digital photo, and it’s like 3 of them.

        • kimmeister

          For the same reason most programs still have a floppy disc symbol to represent the “Save” function. Old habits die hard.

        • Jacqueline Wessel

          sex bytes.

      • anneshirley

        Right? And the movie looks terrible. But they filmed a couple of scenes near my office and a block from my house so I’ll probably see it anyway… but on video.

      • MilaXX

        yeah this movie premise sounds as stupid as that bed buddy movie Natalie Portman & Ashton Kutcher had out years ago. No one cares.

        • Kent Roby

          Also sounds as bad as the recent “Walk of Shame” movie.

    • vahtel

      Perhaps, yes, but no one is mentioning how cute Jason’s face is here.

      • kimmeister

        I generally find his face very cute. Except for in the entire last season of HIMYM.

        • AzSportsGirl

          Everything about the entire last season of HIMYM

          • julnyes

            I stopped watching before the last season aired and everything I have read about it makes my decision a sound one. The wailing about the series finale just made me sigh with relief at dodging that bullet. (Barney and Robin 5EVAH!)

      • Heather

        Indeed I find him seriously cute. He’s on my “stars I have every right to f*** no matter what my relationship status (not that I will ever have the opportunity)” list. Along with Jon Hamm, James Spader, Idris Elba, and John Cusack.

    • anneshirley

      The bust darts on her dress are so so odd.

    • NBG

      Her dress is too goddamn tight and he looks like he slept in his suit. Which makes me angry because, between the two of them, they are wearing a year’s worth of my car payments.

      P.S. WTF is going on with his shoes?

      • conniemd

        I thought the same thing. They looked like they needed a polish or were really old and ill-used.

    • TinyDynamo

      I feel vindicated that Uncles T and Lo share my irritation with the half-assery of these stars showing up to events without putting any effort whatsoever. Cam, that dress is 2 sizes too small & 15 years too young. Jason, this isn’t a frat mixer, go home & start over. Harrumph.

    • SugarSnap108

      So the dress is a size negative-2, I take it. How hard can it be to find a dress that fits Cameron Diaz?

    • Anna

      Cameron just had to go to the wedding in this dress because she looks, “Really, REALLY good in white,” a la Kelly Kapoor when she wore white to Phyllis’s wedding on The Office. The stretch-satiny material looks HELLA CHEAP, and what is up with that weird-ass, folded napkin turned bust dart?

      Jason looks like he was about to head home from the bar when he remembered he had a premiere to go to.

      • Kent Roby

        I doubt her dress is made of a stretchy fabric; I think she’s just stretching a non-stretch satin (does that make sense, or have I had too little caffeine?). But, yes, cheap.

        • Anna

          The tag on the dress is claiming to be “Roland Mouret,” but yeah the ill-fitting and stretching makes it look more Forever 21.

    • ktr33

      White satin? That’s for wedding dresses, and even brides don’t choose white satin anymore, do they? Plus, it’s almost bursting at the seams. And her fake smile is making my face muscles hurt. I don’t mind his get-up, but polish the shoes at least.

    • James

      Her left girl looks like it’s seriously drooping and I really don’t want a dress that makes such a pretty woman into a Dali painting.

    • MilaXX

      iCackled! Seriously love you guys. Calling these two basic bitches had me bursting into such a fit of laughter that the cat left the room in a snit. Once I recovered enough to actually read the post I could do no more than nod in agreement. They look terrible.

    • ashtangajunkie

      Oatbieling. Can we make that a thing? Is it already?

    • EveEve

      Titscrepancy Of The Year. And it’s only June.

    • Alicia

      And when one of the aunties tells her off for wearing white she rolls her eyes and says “only the BACK is white, I’m NOT upstaging” and goes and shags the groom.

    • Jessica Freeman

      Bless that dress for not bursting at the seam. They could have gone cahz and done much better than this half assed attempt at dressing up.

    • Kent Roby

      Two phrases that we’ve been tossing about this week sum up this couple’s appearance: (1) “and cheap”, (2) “and vodka”.

      • Anna

        Based on this ongoing trend, I think I need to start having vodka for and with breakfast.

    • Jecca2244

      gasp. co-workers of the bride is so so so perfect.

    • msdamselfly

      Nice to see him looking so trim

    • rebeemoon

      “Nippular.” Your adjective of the day.

    • Spicytomato1

      I don’t know how she squeezed into that thing, it leaves nothing to the imagination. His look doesn’t bother me as much except for the beat up shoes. Side note: she looks like she’s morphing into Ellen Barkin.

    • zenobar

      I guess I’m just sad to see a successful actress in her 40s promoting a stupid movie called “Sex Tape”.

      Hollywood: Giving the people what they think they want.

      • Wink

        I liked her in My Best Friend’s Wedding, which was a hundred years ago. With a few exceptions, she has done one broad (and bad) comedy after another since then. She is the female Adam Sandler… you pretty much know what you’re gonna get as soon as you hear the name.

        • Heather

          There’s a sweet movie called ‘In Her Shoes’ with her and Toni Collette that no one saw. Otherwise, I agree. She has talent but makes terrible choices – keeps doing the screwball comedy thing.

        • Sunnykm

          Liked those two movies but “There’s Something about Mary” is a classic and she played it perfectly

          • Wink

            Yes, she did! “There’s Something About Mary” is definitely one of the exceptions. Also, “The Holiday” (with Jude Law) was better than most of her films.

    • Joanna

      Sadly, this is the best she’s looked in a long time (to me, anyway). He looks completely unremarkable in every way.

    • Michelle Gennari

      His shoes are a disgrace.

    • FibonacciSequins

      Aside from the wonky dart on the right side, that dress shows off Cameron’s figure very nicely, but it’s all very bland. He just looks rumpled and unattractive. Shine your shoes, man. “Co-workers of the bride” sums it up perfectly.

    • BLauDGaspode

      What is that on her right shoulder? Did the dress tear and someone had to MacGyver it back onto her? The worst part, by far, is what it has done to her chest. I mean, her right boob looks about 4 inches lower than her left.

    • AzSportsGirl

      Totally off topic.. but as a short girl with really small hands, I am soooo jelly of women with long elegant fingers who can pose with their hands like that.
      On topic – kind of a frankendress, n’est ce pas?

    • marlie

      Her dress is too tight AND it’s giving her a titscrepancy.

      • t bell

        Don’t know if you coined it but in the future will be looking for titscrepancy when I stop laughing.

        • marlie

          I think TLo coined it, but it may have been one of the other bitter kittens. I can’t take the credit, but it’s such an apt word, right?!

    • Ashleigh

      blegch – why does she keep wearing ugly tight stuff?! Not sure he’s used to his new skinny hollywood body yet…

    • Cheryl

      If that dress was a little less tight I might have liked it. She has a great body, but this is almost as revealing as the see-through Rhianna dress. As for him, he always seems kind of shlubby. I have sympathy, because I always feel shlubby too.

    • LadyVimes

      “co-workers of the bride” is the best description of this….mess.

    • AndieJay

      I know this blog is about clothes and not bodies, but wow…despite the blah suit, Jason Segel looks amazing.

    • Shawn EH

      Only acceptable if he’s got a gold chain. Which I’m going to pretend he has.

    • Myra Amler

      Did not recognize him at first. How much weight has he lost?

    • Dagney

      Cameron: GET A TAILOR.

    • smh4748

      Cameron, it’s ok to go up to the size 2. No one will think you are fat, we promise.

      I feel dumb, but can someone elaborate on “titscrepancy”? I assume it’s when the breasts look like they are two different sizes or are pointing in two different directions–is that accurate?

      • Heather


      • demidaemon

        It is basically when the two breasts, due to some aspect of the clothing, look severely asymmetrical.

    • Lisalady161

      For accuracy’s sake the description should read, “Cameron Diaz is stuffed into a Roland Mouret Cocktail dress”.

    • swissgirl

      They are both so unappealing, I don’t understand how they could be famous. Plus
      I don’t even want to think about how terrible their movie must be.

    • demidaemon

      I don’t hate the dress on her. It’s not perfect, but not horrible either. I kind of like the neckline. That said, the asymmetrical boob darts are all wrong.

      He, however, totally Pitted it. BLAH.

    • Bethany Fairbrother

      Her boobs are off. The boob on the left is sagging more than the right. A good bra would have saved this. P.S. Welcome to middle age!

      • t bell

        Titscrepancy, a new word that I learned from Marlie’s post.

        • NBG

          Titscrepancy is one of my favorite words from this site.

    • Man Dala

      She looks like she’s just had a very bad boob job. Fug.

    • DagnyReardon

      No, just no.

    • fungstyle

      Is it just me, or is Cameron Diaz slowly morphing into Goldie Hawn?

      • livesarah

        God I hope not… With all due respect to Ms Hawn…

    • JynxTheCat

      The couple I would gravitate to THE VERY LAST and least. Just yuck. It gives me cooties. These two, this title. Just no.