Lily Allen in Fendi at Chanel Beauty VIP launch

Posted on May 02, 2014

This might be the opposite of coat porn. In fact, if we’re going to apply a genre to outerwear, we’d have to say this is pretty close to Coat Horror:

 

Lily-Allen-Chanel-Event-Fendi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Lily Allen attends Chanel Beauty VIP launch in London, England in a Chanel dress paired with a Fendi coat.

Lily-Allen-Chanel-Event-Fendi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Fendi Fall 2013 Collection

Lily-Allen-Chanel-Event-Fendi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Lily-Allen-Chanel-Event-Fendi-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

 

It kinda works for Lily in an over-the-top, gives-no-fucks, diva-walking-the-streets-of-London kind of way. Just so long as you don’t picture her being slowly enveloped by some horrible spineless creature from the bottom of the ocean. Because once you see that, kittens, it can’t be unseen.

Look at all the people staring at her as she walks by. To a person, they’re all shouting “Won’t someone help that poor woman?!?”

 

 

[Photo Credit: FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

    • @Biting Panda

      Because what she really needed was a purse with a puff ball on it too.

      • Glam Dixie

        That’s the fetal version of the coat, she carries it around with her so mama coat doesn’t get upset and eat her.

        • formerlyAnon

          There are not enough likes/upvotes!

    • Scimommy

      Great. Now I’ll have nightmares and show up at your shindig tomorrow with circles under my eyes. You better follow this monstrosity with pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch or something.

    • crash1212

      Pro tip: Worst time to wear a hair coat is in the rain. In other news: her head looks great and I wish we could see the dress.

      • TonyGo

        I hate it when my coat has a Bad Hair Day.

      • Kayceed

        Do we think it smells when wet?

    • Sarah

      So, it’s crazy but she looks really good in that spiny sea slug coat. Better than the model, anyway, who is totally serving me Hellraiser Muppet.

      • @Biting Panda

        Hellraiser Muppet? I heart you, so hard.

      • Jacob Bowen

        ….I kinda LOVE the jacket buttoned up because Mon/Tues/Wed. we were doing a caterpillar study in Pre-Kindergarten, and it TOTALLY looks like it would have been their favorite caterpillar.

        • marlie

          The fact that it looks like a caterpillar is exactly why it skeeves me out. :P

        • Sarah

          Caterpillars are an awesome project for Pre-K! Cool.

          • Constant Reader

            And this is just one of the reasons why i could never tach Pre-K. ::shudders::

            • Sarah

              Funny. I’m detecting a dislike for caterpillars amongst these comments. I like fuzzy caterpillars, though. And so many colors! I love the little black & brown woolly bears we get around where I live.

            • Constant Reader

              Yes, and I have no rational explanation for it. Don’t get me wrong — I have a live-and-let-live policy with them (as I do with most creatures). I just prefer — as I do with some members of my family — not to have to interact with them directly.

            • Sarah

              Some of ‘em do sting, so I wouldn’t touch if you aren’t sure (I don’t touch ‘em either.) I just like to see them fuzzing around.

            • SugarSnap108

              I like caterpillars. But now I know they terrify me when large enough to engulf a human torso.

            • demidaemon

              You should then avoid most role playing videogames, as monster caterpillars are a likely enemy type. That like to try to eat you, among other things.

            • CPK1

              I love caterpillars too. But not in coat form.

            • MRC210

              Caterpillars are adorable. But this coat is a HUGE MONSTER caterpillar.

            • Qitkat

              I miss those little guys, seems as if we saw them back east much more than here in the west. My kids were fascinated with them.

          • MilaXX

            An easy month worth of lessons

            • Jacob Bowen

              Oh definitely especially when you get the caterpillars, watch them turn into butterflies, and then get to release them. My mom did that the last 15 years of her teaching career and it was always a HUGE hit (along with raising eggs into chicks).

        • Vanessa Reyes

          I was thinking the same thing…fuzzy caterpillar. A Gypsy Moth to be more specific.

        • formerlyAnon

          You have pretty much summed up the awesome side of teaching.

        • Lisalady161

          Hah! My first thought was ‘Caterpilar Coat’! RUN!

      • mjude

        YES! HELLRAISER MUPPET!

      • greymain

        re Hellraiser muppet…..have you discussed this idea with Henson productions???? LOVE it!

        • Sarah

          Heh no but it would make a pretty funny challenge on that Creature Shop show, wouldn’t it?

    • Wendi126

      Oy. And when she takes the coat off its Emerald City. Dress, ring, nails…I’m so confused.

    • Samantha Klein

      Her face looks fab, though, right? I really love her, so she gets a pass this time.

      • Tanya Wade

        I feel the love,too, and think if anyone can rock this coat, it’s Lils.

    • Lori

      Looking at the runaway version I wouldn’t have thought this was possible, but it looks worse open. Also, is her skirt plastic? I can’t quite wrap my head around what’s going on there.

    • marlie

      That monstrosity looks like one of those creepy furry caterpillars. DO. NOT. LIKE.

    • sienna elm

      I actually kind of like it…would like it more if I hadn’t seen the runway version. Probably not the smartest thing to wear when it’s raining though.

    • Anna

      Scary. This manages to both look like a dead gorilla/yeti AND some kind of hairy insect.

    • http://www.beautifymylifeblog.com Jessica

      The human centipede!! Ack, I’m going to have nightmares about this one.

    • Glam Dixie

      Coat birth control. She’s being eaten by a millipede, won’t someone help?

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      At least it gave all the people standing outside the Apple store something to look at.

    • LilyVanessi

      They have a bug in the South called a spider centipede and it resembles this coat, but it’s prettier.

    • dustinrhodes

      Vagina Coat.

      • smayper

        Correction: Vagina Dentata Coat

    • In_Stitches

      Look, I’ll never ding a regular person for not matching their coat to their look, but a star? This coat is either a) diva fabulous or b) Gaga weirdness. Her under-clothes are old lady goes to church (and in a clashing color, to boot). It just doesn’t work. The coat on it’s own, I actually love. Sure it’s not chic, but it’s fun.

    • Stella Zawistowski

      Centipedes have feathers?

      • demidaemon

        Some do sort of look like they do. Unfortunately, at my house, we are having a bit of a centipede invasion, so I have firsthand knowledge of this.

    • clatie

      and I bet if it gets wet, it smells.

    • MilaXX

      The model looks like a caterpillar, Lily just looks a mess. She’s also slowly climbing onto my irrational hate list.

      • ashtangajunkie

        Ooh, may I be nosy and ask why? I don’t know anything about her, other than that ‘Smile’ song from a few years ago so I’m curious!

        • MilaXX

          I don’t know. It’s just the more I see her interviews, the more she bugs. She comes across less as witty and sarcastic and more just plain bitchy.

          • ashtangajunkie

            It was a red carpet interview that I happened to catch a few years ago that made me hate Julia Roberts. I think she was trying to be witty but just came across as a horrible bitch.

      • Introspective

        agree. her whole miley-light using black women gyrating in her video to make a “countercultural” “feminist” point shot her to a new high on my irrational hate list.

        • MilaXX

          YES that was part of it.

    • KayEmWhy

      When a Caterpillar and Chubacka mate.

    • Ginger

      It looks like something from a GWAR video.

      • MilaXX

        points for using a GWAT reference.

    • teensmom99

      Yup, she almost makes this disaster work. Almost.

    • Julie

      Furry centipede coat. Love that no fucks were given when donning this thing.

    • Jessica Freeman

      It really does look like something straight out of a horror movie.

      • Donna Luder

        Reminds me of 1950-something B-movie “The Creeping Terror”. (Check out MST3K’s riff on youtube for a giggle.) In one scene the actress carefully wriggles her way INto the Creeping Terror’s mouth area, waving her arms and “struggling”, until there’s nothing left but 5 seconds of muffled screaming and kicking legs. Looks like Miss Allen hasn’t finished her Creeping Terror death scene yet because I can still see her feet.

    • formerlyAnon

      It’s not coat porn in the traditional, “I’d wear that incessantly because I’d look and feel so damn amazing in it” coat porn.

      But I have to confess, dear god, I LOVE this coat. If, you know, I were frequently followed about by photographers. S/he who wears this coat is someone who is so cool, they do not register on the standard Coolness Scale. I don’t think ‘diva’ really covers it.

      • Qitkat

        You have inspired me to look at this differently :)

        • formerlyAnon

          Don’t try too hard. My taste has a track history of being questionable. ;-)

          • Qitkat

            I’ve pretty well proved that true of mine too (yesterday’s Jessica Biel convo) ;)

    • KinoEye

      Did the good people at Fendi spend several days skinning sea urchins to make that coat? Egads.

    • SugarSnap108

      And yet not one bystander dares to be the one to offer assistance. There’s an important sociological/civic lesson here.

    • Gatto Nero

      Buttoned up on the model, with the mohawk, it works as a piece of wearable art (sort of). It has definition and form. It needs that kind of discipline of presentation.
      On the street, this is a much harder look to pull off — especially looking so haphazard and with the green outfit peeking out.

    • nannypoo

      I killed one of these in my kitchen yesterday. Rainy weather brings them out.

      • Sarah

        I killed a spider cricket in my kitchen yesterday. I HATE those. My cats were all just staring at it like “WTF is that?” and I told them they’re not doing their jobs if I had to kill the damned thing.

        • formerlyAnon

          I imagine they replied “Au contraire! Our jobs, which are to bend humans to our will without arousing suspicions of the impending Quiet Institution of World Domination, are coming along nicely. Oh – you missed that bit over there.”

        • boweryboy

          I had to google spider cricket. Good lord!

          • Sarah

            They are so awful. I don’t think they an actually DO anything to you, but they’re totally freaky and they can and will JUMP on anything, including you. Yikes.

            • KinoEye

              Ahhh! I think we’ve got those out here, too. Ick. My previous cat eventually got bored of killing bugs after we moved out here, but the 70 pound dog is always happy to assist. I get infestations of small black beetles every spring, and one night, one of them approached the cat. As soon as it touched his tail, he jumped up and ran away. The dog dealt with it promptly.

              More recently, a HUGE spider was crawling near my shoes. I was frantically waving at the new kitten, trying to get her to kill it. She just went on playing with her yarn. The dog, on the other hand, looked at it — “what, this thing?” — before stomping on it and dragging it across the floor with his paw. There’s a reason he’s the man in my life.

            • Sarah

              Excellent dog! I used to have a cat that was all about killing spider crickets. My parents’ house gets them in the fall, and he would systematically eat their bodies and leave the legs around so you’d know he got them. Good boy! My outdoor cat might have taken care of it, but she was in the yard when I saw this guy and I figured I’d better kill him before I thought to let her in.

        • dash1211

          I call them neanderthal crickets. They’re so gross….

    • DTLAFamilies

      I kind of love this on her. She’s so pretty and she has exactly the right attitude to pull it off. It would be a disaster on almost anyone else.

    • Daisy Walker

      Queen of the Tribbles

    • mdcoon127

      it looks like she is enveloped in a large furry caterpillar…especially on the model

    • OffToSeeHim

      On the model it’s just horrifying – she looks like a giant centipede is crawling up her torso!

    • LipstickForPigs

      It’s like she skinned a giant millipede and draped it over herself.

    • decormaven

      I covet the emerald ring. She can keep the coat.

    • boweryboy

      Who at Fendi thought this coat was a good idea?

    • Fannie Wolston

      fox, mink, otter, and rabbit?

      It’ll be a huge moment when a designer can work skins of nutria, norway rat or burmese python into beauty.

      I would have preferred to see synthetic skins on that poisonous fendi beast

    • Danielle

      This coat is the porn you stumble across on Reddit, very very late at night while clicking around for obscure memes to use on forums.

    • Imasewsure

      Cruella furry spider realness….

    • ItAin’tMe

      I’m sure I have no right to comment in this blog, because I love that coat and if it was mine I’d wear it everyday.

    • Qitkat

      This coat might just inspire the next disaster film on SyFy.

    • Vicki

      Ohhh, I was indadvertedly outside this Chanel store yesterday. Saw there was something set up but got bored waiting for someone to turn up. Could have seen this in person – what a treat!

    • ellatheingenue

      LILY ALLEN IS BEING EATEN BY A GIANT CATERPILLAR

    • Miss wks

      somebody give that coat a biskie….

    • Claire

      According to some pictures on Instagram she carpooled with Karl Lagerfeld on the way there, and I think we can all agree that had to be an awesome/terrifying car ride.

    • frannyprof

      Forget about coat porn. This is “man holding an umbrella” porn. I live in L.A., where it is a bajillion degrees out and we are in the middle of a drought. I crave rain, almost as much as I crave a personal umbrella attendant.

      • malarson2

        Come to Oregon! It’s a myth that it rains here as much as Seattle, but we have enough to keep it green and pretty and for snuggling and ambiance.

    • lunchcoma

      How many muppets died for that ugly coat?

    • YoungSally

      furry lobster

      And yet that sounds dirty

    • holla

      how Lily is wearing it don’t bother me as much, but the way the model wears it looks like a centipede and that just made me throw up a little. and now I am getting the creepy crawlies on my skin. I can’t unsee the thing. I need some B Cum or Hiddles, stat!

    • Perigee

      I hate furry millipedes. That is all.

    • GillianHolroyd

      When Fendi loaned her the coat, they probably didn’t intend for her to wear it in the POURING RAIN.

    • malarson2

      It’s truly awful and yet she looks so pretty.

    • lobsterlen

      How many poisonous hairy catipillars died to make that coat.?
      Don’t touch it or you will get a rash!

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      The catwalk shot makes me think of the Hookah-Smoking-Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

    • mmebam

      I mean, I wasn’t exactly wondering what happens when a Muppet and a centipede have a baby. But, the more you know…

    • FibonacciSequins

      Looks like she skinned a Muppet.

      • demidaemon

        Make that many muppets.

    • snarkykitten

      Who is she? Why does she have the same name as my paternal grandmother?

    • 25or6to4

      The Human Woolly Worm.

    • dash1211

      From which Star Trek episode did she steal this coat?

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      AHHHHHH!

      • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

        The MODEL! She’s SCARING!

    • Milos Mom

      Love it. It looks like she is carrying 4 different animals with how she is holding her arms

    • icm

      Cruella called she wants her coat back.

    • cocohall

      The first picture made me flash to Jo Anne Worley from Laugh In. Why, who knows? It also looks vaguely like something Phyllis Diller would have worn. Was she going for a tribute to female comedy icons from the 60s and 70s? If so, I applaud her. Otherwise, I’m in WTF territory.

      • sagecreek

        I completely agree! You know, if I were old enough to know who either of those women are. Which I am not :)

        • cocohall

          Of course you aren’t! Nor am I. ;-) We are blessed with access to the archives of all the funny ladies. It’s a super power.

    • sagecreek

      I think it might could have worked if it had been styled correctly, which for one thing, means NO PINK PURSE (wtf?) and not those shoes.

      But on the whole, no, just a miss.

    • demidaemon

      WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?! KILL IT! kILL IT WITH FIRE AND THEN SHOOT IT AND BURN IT AGAIN!

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Nooooo. On the runway it looks like one of those furry spiny caterpillars – I can’t figure out a way to style it without imagining an eldritch horror. NOOOO.

      • Mousentrude

        I would so wear an eldritch horror. I love this coat (as long as it’s fake fur) – would definitely wear it with huge amounts of amusement at horrified passers-by.

    • BlairBear

      Thank you designers for not making attractive insanely overpriced clothing that would incite envy . I am so glad you incite laughter and even the occasional dollop of pity

    • sk8tfan

      She slew the prehistoric creature in an epic battle soon to be televised on the Syfy channel, right after Sharknado 3 and wears its skin to show her might.

    • LadyVimes

      The model looks like she’s being eaten by a caterpillar.

    • joything

      I’ve seen prettier closeups of caterpillars.

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      Wearing fur is tragic! Please rot in HELL!

    • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

      Its like a giant fluffy poisonous caterpillar

    • Therese Bohn

      EEEEK!

    • Clash D

      Weird. It’s like a combo of old Wookie hair and caterpillars.

    • Mr. J.

      Crazy about that coat….reminds me of Keith Richards, ca. 1966, was it?