Sally Hawkins at the 2014 Film Independent Spirit Awards

Posted on March 02, 2014

Look, we’re all for the ladies wearing the prints on the red carpet. So many of them are scared to do so and that makes us sad. But we don’t care how pretty the print is, when you do this:


Sally-Hawkins-2014-Film-Independent-Spirits-Awards-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)“Blue Jasmine” actress Sally Hawkins attends the 2014 Film Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica, California.

Sally-Hawkins-2014-Film-Independent-Spirits-Awards-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Sally-Hawkins-2014-Film-Independent-Spirits-Awards-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Sally-Hawkins-2014-Film-Independent-Spirits-Awards-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Sally-Hawkins-2014-Film-Independent-Spirits-Awards-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

You look like wallpaper. And because of the nature of this particular print, she looks like ’80s hotel wallpaper.

Come ON. Who sports a purse made out of the same material as the dress? Who does that? Aside from Barbie and little girls with crafty grandmothers, we mean. We might’ve accepted it if it was a tiny little clutch (not bloody likely, but go with us on this) that she kept tastefully hidden from view, but she’s strutting down that carpet waving a fabric calzone in front of her like it’s something to be excited about. It’s not, honey.

We feel bad. She looks so happy. Someone should’ve told her before she walked out the door. We blame her gays. Or lack of them, if that’s the case.


[Photo Credit: Juan Rico/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

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  • Bridget212323

    She and Sarah Paulson need to hire Lupita’s stylist or her associate. She never looks good.

  • helene

    i actually rather like the print and it looks like it feels flowy and delicious to wear. i could have gotten behind it except for the ? (you’re right it is a calzone) she’s carrying. It makes the whole outfit a joke instead of the lovely drape of a thing. sigh….

    • Lucía Gavello

      “Fabric calzone” made my day. Although here it would be a giant fabric empanada. And you’re right, whithout it I could actually get behind this.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Simmer down, girl. It’s awards season, not Laura Ingall’s wedding day.

    • Umpushes glasses up] Laura Ingalls hand made her own black dress for her wedding to Almonzo Wilder. She would never have worn such a garish pattern.

  • Julaine Haraden Morley

    Fabric calzone! For a moment, I feared it wasn’t a (ridiculous) clutch, but a hat she was in danger of planting on her wayward curls…

    • alliekat9090

      I actually mistook it for a fan.

  • lifeisastory

    No doubt somebody thought they were very clever to make the bag in the same fan motif as the print. Somebody patted himself on the back for that. Wouldn’t shock me if the the shoes were made of same material, with little fan clips on the toes.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Indeed, i just noticed she has her fabric calzone emblazened across her bosom…

      • Leah Elzinga

        “Yes, yes, the floral is lovely but do you have something in an unintentionally ironic calzone pattern?”

  • Janet B

    The fabric would be the lining for my ‘matching’ clutch.

  • Miss Ruth

    Ow. Ow. Ow. Bed in a bag combined with teacher conference day hair. Ow.

    • MartyBellerMask

      Bed in a bag. NAILED IT.

  • I love the fabric, but the matching purse is not OK. The fan shape is really on the nose.

    • kmk05

      I think the top part is really well-constructed, and it fits her perfectly, in an easy breezy way. (I feel the need to tack on ‘Covergirl!’ and the end of that sentence, but I’m gonna resist).

    • AmeliaEve

      The purse is very…. literal.

    • Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

      Any first year design student at FIDM should be able to match like that. My reaction was Oh Lord…someone got into granny’s dress pattern and fabric stash.

      • Of course they should be able to, but how often do we actually see it?

        • Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

          Probably never. Friend of mine was a Professor at FIDM in LA for eons. She said you’d be shocked at the number of students who don’t know the business end of an iron.

  • lexilexi

    And that dress is so crazy long!

    • Dam_Angel

      What is it with hems? Women wear pants and dresses that they have to pull up to take one step. Weird!

  • fabric. calzone!

    First LOL of the day, gentlemen – thank you!

  • Sarah

    I believe there is a self-belt, too, behind the calzone. So much periwinkle muchness!

  • alliekat9090

    I’m speechless. Did someone dare her to do this?

  • kmk05

    I JUST HAD CALZONE. It definitely looked better than this.

    To be fair, I think the print works on the dress. I love the shirt-style top, which suits her well, and the only nitpick I have would be with the fullness of the skirt ( a little less would have been perfect). But the clutch ruins it, and I am not sure if I’m onboard with the hair or not. Maybe more flowy and less curly would have been better with this print.

  • TigerLaverada

    Oh, that’s a purse? I thought maybe a folded up sun hat of the same material. Or a (lol) fabric calzone. Whichever, a truly bizarre item. And the dress… a shirtwaist dress as a gown crafted of nightwear synthetic “satin”. Who thought this was a good idea?

  • julianaci

    Also, what the hell lady get a goddamn slip!

  • Noah

    “Fabric calzone” has me bursting with laughter. And hungry…

  • ballerinawithagun

    The Project Runway challenge when they had to use every scrap of fabric. Seems like they all made purses..

  • “Fabric Calzone”…..hysterical. This really should be an advertisement for that hotel chain–Mandarin Oriental, I think?–where the celeb endorsers say, “I’m a Fan”. I do like the print. The dress needs hemming, though, and I think a silver belt would have made a big positive difference. Her makeup is blah and her hair looks a little JBF to me.

  • Eclectic Mayhem

    Oh man, in the thumbnail I thought it was a great blouse and that Ms Hawins’ hair and make-up look better than I’ve ever seen them. And then I scrolled down and had a sad.

  • Alexa42

    I plan to whisper “fabric calzone” to myself at various points in the day and giggle quietly. Already looking forward to it. I will say on behalf of Ms. Hawkins it was our THIRD RAINY DAY IN A ROW in Los Angeles, and as this meteorological phenomenon has only taken place 15 times since 1874, LA-based hairstylists aren’t accustomed to working around DrizzleFrizz. Hence, the rough hair.

  • shopgirl716

    So here’s my deal with the hideous purse. If I had to face what the red carpet wall of photographers my palms would be sweating to beat the band, because that’s the kind of girl I am, sweaty. If she moves her hands at all on the light colored, fabric calzone, sweaty palm prints will be displayed for all the world to see. Thus, it seems like the calzone is a bad idea for very practical reasons. I would also trip all over the hem of that dress since it appears to be dragging the ground, thus ripping nice holes all along the hem. Therefore, not only is this outfit ugly, it is not impractical if not dangerous!

    • MilaXX

      Except of you were a celeb with a sweaty palm issue, you would have gotten botox to stop that from happening on awards weekend.

      • demidaemon

        Or just had your sweat glands removed.

      • shopgirl716

        Botox to the palms. Yet another reason I am so happy I am not a celebrity. Good Lord.

  • mrspotts66

    fabric calzone. *snort*
    i think i’d like that dress if it was a shirt.
    with skinny black pants and a funky belt.
    and no calzone.

  • poggi

    If she had just carried an actual calzone, she could have made this work.

  • DeniseSchipani

    Fabric calzone. I just startled by husband with a hearty guffaw.

  • SewingSiren

    I don’t like the purse.

  • LeelaST

    I’d be on board if the dress were knee-length and the purse was instead a portrait hat. As is, she’s got a lovely smile.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Showed my grandma these photos, she says she would show her legs and ditch the “Taco Purse”. None of this surprises me, my grandma had back cut outs in her dress in 1960 (in a VERY Catholic ceremony).

    • understateddiva

      your grandma sounds awesome!

    • Haha, “Taco Purse”… your gramma can go toe to toe with TLo!

  • boweryboy

    I like the dress. I so want her to win best supporting actress but it’s unlikely.

    • 3boysful

      I could like the fabric in a small dose. And she was terrific in Blue Jasmine. You cringed for her.

  • MilaXX

    All she needed was a black belt and simple black bag. That crazy thing looks like the PR challenge where they had to use ALL the fabric bought.

  • Betsy

    Aside from the fabric and match purse, is it supposed to be that long?!

  • she looks like she’s going to church in Appalachia wearing her big sister’s dress. her sister is six foot six. she had on the matching sun hat but it kept blowing away in the wind, so she folded it in half and tucked it under her arm for safe keeping, treasure that it is.

  • yethica

    It’s such a shame because she is so interesting looking/pretty. She always looks unbelievably bad and it just doesn’t have to be that way!

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Fabric calzone-so appropos for that supersize clutch. I like Hawkins, and really wish she’d chosen a better print. I know the Independent Spirit Awards have a much more casual vibe, but really…

  • Lauren

    Is anyone else getting the impression that the dress might be a little see-through? Maybe she is carefully holding her clutch to cover this fact… either way it is still a ridiculous print

  • Blair Sylvester

    I just can’t . The scariest part for me is that this must have taken planning ? Did she have the dress and matching clutch custom made ? And no point did she say to herself gee this is a lot of print ? I think the skirt could be pretty but the top needs an overhaul

  • But I love her!

  • Fabric calzone. <3 I have to figure out how to work that into conversation.

  • icm

    Thats a purse? I thought it was her hat.

  • dash1211

    “Fabric calzone” is why I adore you.

  • Jay

    I kind of love this. She has so much personality on the red carpet; it’s like a throwback to the 70s and 80s, when not everyone had stylists and actors just wore what they wanted to awards shows. Her style isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but that’s what makes it special, IMO.

  • shaziz

    no gays were consulted for the above photo. a collective gasp of horror can be heard from WeHo to Chelsea.

  • Pennymac

    Guffawed at “fabric calzone”!

  • MzzPants

    She looks like an independent spirit, all right. I say the bag should’ve been worn as headgear, pirate style. McDouchehey should’ve been her date, then his shoes would’ve gone with something.

  • quiltrx

    This is sad, as the print itself is pretty to me. It’s like a shiny grandma blouse made gown-length.
    And I’m dying at “fabric calzone”!

  • jilly_d

    When I scrolled to that bag, I inhaled sharply through my nose and my head involuntarily snapped back from the screen. Not good, Sally. Not good.

  • Qitkat

    When you do this…you look like you have a very very tiny infant or dog smuggled in that sling.

  • pattyw

    “Fabric calzone” — almost choked on my gum.

  • Imasewsure

    I’m pretending that clutch is a big pirate hat… makes the outfit (laughing laughing laughing)

  • Taylor Vaught

    Why so narrow-minded? How will fashion ever evolve if people don’t go outside of our collective comfort zone? Do you really dislike this sort of thing so much or do you just pretend because it’s the only way to make names for yourselves? I’ll take this look any day over JLaw’s tired and predictable Oscar peplum.

    • mightbewrong

      you’re pretty new here aren’tcha. Picking on fashion is kind of the entire point.
      Also, a good reason to dislike it is that it’s hideous.

  • GillianHolroyd

    I really like the last photo and I’m trying to figure out why. It’s a shirtwaist! In pale print in a slinky shiny fabric and she really commits to it, what with the purse and all. She’s bringing on the periwinkle. I don’t hate it.

  • marlie

    That purse is hideous. It destroys an otherwise pretty (if matronly) dress.

  • demidaemon

    Fabric calzone. So appropriately described. My first reaction–I didn’t even get to the Tower of Pisa posing at this point–was “What the Hell?” Sally, you need an intervention, stat.

  • Gatto Nero

    Oh, and she’s so lovely and she’s trying so hard.
    Makes me sad.

  • “The Jade of it all!” is all I can think right now…

    It would have been a lovely dress in a more modern print, with a different purse. I like the “shirt-dress gone gown” idea. Hair and make-up are lovely.

  • MissusBee

    The blouse part is nicely fitted and the colour suits her. Would like to have seen with a pencil skirt/cigarette pants plus fierce-but-not-competing shoes, maybe gold, plus teeny clutch in a rich accent color like purple. Fix poodle hair into sexy chignon, get the glittery shit off the eyelids… and we’re done.

  • Judih1

    if she had a different purse and a cute hair style and nice make up I could have gone with this . But no.

  • LJCdoc

    She had to have come up with this … business on her own. I can’t see any gays or any other stylist endorsing such a travesty.

  • kategs

    I know I am going to get screeched at here but I looked at this and thought you know what I like it! The dress is lovely if a tad too long and I think the bag is whimsical/tongue in cheek firmly. Just the way she’s posturing with it says that to me. I’d have liked the hair pulled back, low chignon perhaps?

    • cocohall

      I agree with you. I think the print is lovely and she looks happy and the purse isn’t to be taken so seriously. My sense of her (and she is a very good actress so perhaps she has me fooled!) is that she is almost incapable of “playing the game.” Sure the purse is a bit of an odd fashion choice, but she is really not your typical lady star. Never change, Sally!

  • MartyBellerMask

    To quote Tonker Bell, “That aint wassup.”

  • MoHub

    Flashbacks to Sissy Spacek in Coal Miner’s Daughter.