Sarah Paulson at the Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 Fashion Show

Posted on February 14, 2014

SARAH? STEP AWAY FROM THE MARC JACOBS DRESS SLOWLY. WE’RE RIGHT HERE, GIRL. WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU. GIVE US YOUR HAND. WE KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS.

SARAH? YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. DON’T BE SCARED. THERE’S STILL TIME.

Sarah-Paulson-Marc-Jacobs-Fall-2014-Fall-2014-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO-1“American Horror Story: Coven” star Sarah Paulson attends the Marc Jacobs Fall 2014 fashion show in New York City.

Sarah-Paulson-Marc-Jacobs-Fall-2014-Fall-2014-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO-2Marc Jacobs Spring 2014 Collection

Sarah-Paulson-Marc-Jacobs-Fall-2014-Fall-2014-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO-3

Sarah-Paulson-Marc-Jacobs-Fall-2014-Fall-2014-Show-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO-4

 

Won’t someone please help us extricate this poor fashion victim from the wreckage? We’re afraid it’s going to go up in flames any second. Mainly because it deserves to burn.

Sweetie, we don’t care what they offered you to sit in the front row, you should have insisted on right of refusal when it came to picking out a dress.

On the other hand, this would have looked phenomenal as a costume on American Horror Story: Coven.

 

[Photo Credit: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

    • Paigealicious

      “Victorian Witch” costume from a bag, sold at Halloween Express for $39.99.

      • Glam Dixie

        Marked down to $19.99

        • decormaven

          Probably $9.99, resting over in the corner with some Silly String and trampled leis.

          • NYCGlamourpuss

            And someone has carelessly tossed a three pack of Jack O’Lantern ankle socks on top of it – socks that they decided against buying at the last minute on their way to the register.

      • jspark

        She HATES it!

    • Anna

      This is a pit of despair.

      • KinoEye

        Even the guy who ran the pit of despair in The Princess Bride was better dressed than this.

        • Anna

          His outfit was definitely preferable to this one.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Oh, sweet fucking french toast, what the hell is that?!

      • Rand Ortega

        Hot coffee right through the nose!That wins today’s internet.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Adding that to my vocab immediately!

      • FrigidDiva

        That’s getting used at work today–my douchey corporate supervisor has flown back to the corporate nest!

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          Thank you, thank you all! I can’t even say that thought too deeply to come up with that one. The dress is so ugly, the phrase just sprang from my brain.

    • Pablo

      I’m laughing out loud, not even kidding

    • Janet B

      Costume

    • Danielle

      Jesus wept.

    • Glam Dixie

      I’m frightened. Make it go away.

    • KinoEye

      “The horror… the horror.”

    • Lori

      I’m not convinced that she didn’t have right of refusal, or alternatively that had she had it she would have refused to wear this. It doesn’t strike me as particularly out of line with other things she’s worn, presumably voluntarily. The woman has kind of bad taste, is what I’m saying.

      • cindiaune

        Bad taste? yeah, I’m thinking no taste is closer to it.
        She needs Rachel Zoe stat!

    • Pennymac

      Dear heavens! Is that acetate?

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

        I had the same exact thought. Yuck.

    • JauntyJohn

      You remember that scene in Disney’s animated classic, “Cinderella” where all the little birds and mice got together and made a dress for Cinderella?
      It’s like that.
      But the birds were drunk.
      And mean.
      And the mice were all PTSD’ing from some animal testing lab run by L’Oreal.

      As a costume? Mmmmmaybe. But as a dress to wear to a fashion show? Not so much.

      • FrigidDiva

        Just picturing that makes my Friday afternoon better.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          And you know, it’s Friday, we have a three day weekend coming up, and it’s payday. But picturing that was still my favorite thing about today!

          • FrigidDiva

            It’s payday, but my company has decided that President’s day is NOT one of our holidays off, which just makes me sad. We have to wait till May now until we get a holiday off. I’m going to console myself with some mimosas for dinner.

            • NYCGlamourpuss

              Mimosas -> contain orange juice -> oranges are fruit -> fruit is part of the fruits and vegetables category = Mimosas are suitable for dinner.

            • demidaemon

              This equation should be posted in kitchens everywhere.

      • demidaemon

        I kind of want to see your version of Cinderella.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      Mrs. Havisham in her jilted Bride of Satan drag

      • MoHub

        Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

    • MoHub

      Did someone cut her hair with a hedgeclipper?

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        No, of course not, don’t be silly! A hedgeclipper would have been an improvement.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Sarah Paulson always looks to me like Maria Bello’s trashy, less interesting younger sister.

    • @Biting Panda

      You’d think after all season of the witchy widow look, she’d be yearning for something lighter and more relaxed. But sweet cheeses on toast, this is fucking awful. I am a fan of hers, but I can’t ever recall thinking she’s well dressed. Me thinks Fashion is truly not her thing. To which I say “Hire someone!!”

      • Alyssa

        I’m pretty sure she is in desperate need of a fashion intervention. I like her, but always think “oh, dear” when I see what she’s wearing. She deserves (and can afford!) better.

    • Jessica Freeman

      You can try that serious model face all you want, but nope, you are not selling this horrid piece of clothing.

    • Emily Giovanni

      Horror story, indeed.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      But partial credit for not wearing the shoes from the runway.

      • Jacob Bowen

        Especially since they look like a fancy shower shoe that I would wear in the locker room at the gym!

      • boweryboy

        Right? That’s exactly what I wrote.

      • FrigidDiva

        I was just going to say that. Small mercies.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        True. Let’s take our silver linings where we can grab ‘em, Kittens.

    • lunchcoma

      That’s not actually a dress, right? It’s just inscrutable performance art in the style of Shia LeDouche? I don’t think I’d know what to do if I had to accept that someone took that seriously.

    • lamamu

      Helena Bonham Carter called. She wants her dress back.

      • lunchcoma

        We shouldn’t let her have it, either.

      • marlie

        I don’t even think HBC wants this monstrosity.

    • Sofia Bentivoglio

      what a shame that everything below her chin is a fright because that is the best hair, makeup, and attitude i have ever seen on her.

      • FrigidDiva

        I really do like the hair. I’m not a fan of how it’s currently styled, but I like the cut. I think she looks better with her hair cut shorter, her fried blonde locks needed some serious TLC.

      • kimmeister

        My thoughts, they have been stolen by you. Her head looks fantastic.

    • hillmad

      But really, WTF is up with this? Marc Jacobs “designed” this and then had the runway model wear what look like patent leather Teva river sandals with it?

    • boweryboy

      Wow. I think maybe she’s channeling her inner Cordelia. At least she didn’t wear the sandals the model is wearing. On the flipside those sky high pumps look like they’re killing her feet, especially in the last photo.

    • DaringMiss

      Personal best Bitch Face ever!

    • ovarB

      This dress is the real reason why Cordelia poked her own eyes out.

    • marlie

      OMFG that’s a flipping hideous dress. It looks like a cheap costume for a mourning wife in a movie set in 1890. I also don’t like her hair and makeup – her hair desperately needs a hot oil treatment. And I just saw an ad for a major makeup brand on TV promoting their new skin-toned makeup line, and I actually said out loud “HELL NO.” So that’s how I feel about Sarah’s makeup.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Helena Bonham-Carter would’ve looked at this dress and said: “seriously?”.

    • Rand Ortega

      Apparently Miss Sarah did not get the memo about wearing your costume home from the set.

    • Betsy

      It looks like one of those costume dresses they thrown on an “actor” at one of those God-forsaken local haunted houses–and the actor walks around as some undead Victorian child bride. What a shame….

    • FrigidDiva

      Can I just add those shoes are making my toes have sympahty pains. They look so uncomfortable.

    • sunflower

      Stop wearing tea length dresses, Sarah!

    • Cheryl

      Wellllll….this would have been awesome on Cordelia, but it’s wrong for Sarah.

    • Cathy S

      That’s Helena Bonham Carter’s dress.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1180174329 Elizabeth Phillips SC TSu

      She’s so pretty. And has SUCH atrocious taste in clothing.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      Wow. That was a lot worse than expected

    • LaSylphide

      That is one busy dress.

    • DTLAFamilies

      Bordello madam whose biggest client just died.

    • Nancer

      I think Sarah needs to hire a stylest. STAT.

    • Kirstin McAulay

      Wow… she looks flammable… haven’t seen that much nylon since the dressing up box

    • MilaXX

      She needs new stylist STAT! Always looking tragic this one.

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      She seems like I nice person. Therefore, on her behalf, I’m willing to punch whomever told her this was her silhouette.

    • OhSheila

      That’s a lot. A whole bunch. But her head looks awesome!

    • http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

      Oh dear God.

    • crash1212

      At least she didn’t go with the butt ugly shoes the model is wearing.

      • sagecreek

        Took the words right out of my mouth!

    • Trickytrisha

      I’m trying to think of an occasion that would be appropriate for this dress. Still thinking….

    • elirt

      She really loves fussy, overly complicated, too many layers and embellishments. i think of the weird ballerina dress she just wore. It’s attention seeking, but probably not the kind she’s hoping for.

    • ljh

      Halloween at the Martha Stewart Textile Embellishments Craft Corner & Olde-Tyme Bordello….

    • NMMagpie

      Give that dress to Stevie Nicks, stat.

    • Lilithcat

      That is an American Horror Story.

      • twigg

        Next season is just the actresses trying on heinous clothes.

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      Beatrix LeStrange

    • Gatto Nero

      Marchesa goes goth.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      This poor woman. Her red carpet clothes make me sad.

    • Melanie

      LOL jinx on the AHS reference! i was wondering if she forgot filming’s ended….

    • Rebecca Harvey

      Miss Havisham on crack

    • bertkeeter

      Dredged up from the NY harbor, spun dry and sent off to the show?

    • Dagney

      Ugh…!! Complete the look! This is a dramatic dress, one simply cannot wear this dress and sport surfer girl hair.

    • Valdri8

      It look like Stevie Nicks blew up on her

      • demidaemon

        To be fair, I think Stevie sticks to natural materials and floor length dresses.

    • MzzPants

      Can Helena Bonham Carter try it on before we torch it? Pleeeeaaase?

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      This dress belongs to Jessica Lange from the same show. Not you, sweetie.

    • MaggieMae

      Whoa! That is pure costume. For the bar maid in Gunsmoke, or something.

    • Trash Cookies

      Deadwood: Coven

    • Wendy Todd

      Oy.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      Sarah Paulson mistakenly thought she was Helena Bonham-Carter for a sec. Now that’s a shame.

    • Nonnah

      Stevie Nicks World Tour 1983

    • kt mac

      After y’all get her safely separated from the dress you should send it to Helena Bonham Carter.

    • elzatelzabelz

      Her stylist has been getting it so wrong lately.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      she looks like a victorian mourning doll. i’m just glad she didn’t wear the sandals the model has on.

    • macwell

      That is just the ugliest dress – even if she was doing it for AHS: Coven. :(

    • clatie

      Who is talking her into this sad doll fashion crap? She is a grown woman. SARAH, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, KNOCK TWICE.

      • Shawn EH

        Someone’s at the doah!

    • quiltrx

      For heaven’s sake, send this off to HBC, who’ll put several layers of tulle underneath, wear a kickass hat, and just generally know what to do with it.
      (psst, seriously though, what was Marc thinking?)

    • AnneElliot

      Why is the model wearing those ridiculous sandals with that dress????? It is truly bizarre.

      And Sarah Paulson needs to fire whomever suggested this atrocity. However, her face and hair look fierce. She frightens me, but in a good way.

    • kittenwithaquip

      Where is Helena Bonham-Carter when a dress needs her?

      • crystal76

        That was my first thought!!

      • andi56

        Exactly what I was thinking! And HBC always makes a dress a grand event.

        • kittenwithaquip

          She’d goth it the fuck the up with a Vivienne Westwood vibe and a Lulu Guinness clutch.

    • Shawn EH

      I kinda like it. Maybe with a little cleavage and not so much the 19th century neckline, but still, way to get attention at NYFW!

    • cindiaune

      At least she didn’t wear the shoes the model is wearing :O

    • http://www.ueberdesuper.net/ Ueber de Super

      She has lost it. She will bore us to death from now on, play another ridiculous character on AHS, and in one or two years her career will be over and all she will do is pose with a baby belly on covers of second-rate magazines and be ridiculed for wearing pretentious ugly dresses like this one. It is so sad.

    • berkeleygirl

      I just don’t understand. Earlier this week, I caught her on a chat show – Jimmy Kimmel? – and she looked stunning. Simply dress/coif/maquillage, she looked soft, beautiful, easy…

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/divine_aphasia/ Constant Cat

      I kinda like the psuedo Victorian thing that happened around the late 70’s, early 80’s (i think that’s the right time frame.) Like. Cheaper fabrics, weird energy from them. Reminds me of an uncomfortable sort of aesthetic that a fav artist Yvonne Todd toys around with in really bizarre portraits. That being said, it’s def. Halloween uneasy fantasy wear…and doesn’t look good with a blonde bob. Painful on Sarah and the model, in my opinion. Flat sandals with this? Bah, no.

      Also, everyone’s comments here are hilarious.

    • PeaceBang

      Well, the last I saw of Miss Paulson she WAS gouging her eyes out, which is really the only reasonable explanation here.

    • Fred Vaughn

      Fuck the eyes… She’s just fucked up!