Sarah Jessica Parker in Valentino at SJP Collection Pop Up Shop Opening

Posted on February 27, 2014

Whut.

 

 

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Sarah Jessica Parker attends the SJP Collection Pop Up Shop Opening in New York City in a Valentino pale pink crepe de chine dress paired with SJP Collection sandals and jewelry by Mikimoto, Fred Leighton and House of Lavande.

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)Valentino Lace-Trim Plisse Dress

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-SJP-Collection-Valentino-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

 

Wow. Way to ruin a cute dress. Because that’s just what your average Valentino frock needs to make it complete: an American Apparel bodysuit and  ugly green shoes. Even worse, she’s there to sell the ugly green shoes.

Girl, this is disappointing, to say the least.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Dara Kushner/INFphoto.com, bergdorfgoodman.com]

    • alyce1213

      Fishnet Sleevey Magic. Really, look it up. Tragic.

      • Lucía Gavello

        OMG, that’s the stupidest garment I’ve ever seen.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        I bet these are the higher-priced Sleevey Wonders!

        Thank you for directing me to the existence of these things. How weird!

        • alyce1213

          I was not aware of the competitor, Sleevey Wonder.
          Holy cow, they do make a 3/4-sleeve mesh. I thought I was being facetious.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

            I was faintly disappointed in google that “sleevey” gave me options!

        • YoungSally

          Is there a Sleevey Nicks too?

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

            You should make that happen.

      • another_laura

        Sleevey Wonders. Jaw-dropping. I wouldn’t have believed it. But I should have, really, because I remember wearing dickeys when I was a kid. And they’re out there, too.

      • Constant Reader

        I can’t stop watching that commercial. It’s like trying to tear my eyes away from an accident on the side of the road.

      • Tapetum

        I keep reading that as “Skeevy Magic”. I think my subconscious has it right.

      • kimmeister

        Can you hear me guffawing from alyce1213 land?

      • Sartorial_She

        Both products are hideous. But the use of ‘Sleevey’ instead of simply ‘Sleeve’ makes me stabby. Why??? It’s right up there with ‘cute’ spellings for business names, like ‘Kat Korner’. Feel my loathing.

        • Wendi126

          I feel it scorching through my iPad. I hate everything in this outfit. The original dress looks like a lampshade in a Paris brothel plus the Sleevey Wonders plus the hiddy jewelry plus the shoes made for a Mucinex commercial plus the overgrown spaniel hair plus raccoon eyes……. I think Uncles have found a worst contender for 2014.

        • AnnaleighBelle

          Well, I believe that “Sleevey Wonder” is to reference Stevey Wonder. ahem.

          That makes me imagine a perfect marketing plan…

          • Tigerfly

            Because you’d have to be blind to wear them…

            • littlemac8

              How many times can I “like” this??

            • PeaceBang

              Bam.

        • littlemac8

          I am so horrified at what I think I’m reading that I cannot get up the nerve to go look at the products. Stabby!!! YES!

      • littlemac8

        Oh my eyez!!!! I just looked. I need to flush my eyez and my brain. The horror!!!!

      • MarTeaNi

        Already invented in the 90s by every goth ever.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Jewellery by House of Lavande – god I hope their line is all lavender ribbons. So niche.

      • marlie

        I like pink and green too, but not ALL pinks and greens work together.

      • Twigg

        That “bracelet” looks a lot like a “hair tie” I got in a Birchbox a few months ago. It didn’t really work as a hair tie either.

      • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

        Just painted my nails pink and green yesterday, but this has me reaching for the acetone.

    • @Biting Panda

      What is her recent fascination with the pleated skirts, here lately? They are so aging. And mesh sleeve? Because why? Fashion??? No.

    • sagecreek

      And again with the efffffing eye liner. Sarah Jane, do you really have no friends who love you enough to do an intervention?

      • @Biting Panda

        Again. And always. She’ll never stop. Give up the dream. : )

        • 3boysful

          But you know, if she’d even swap the black khol for a grey or brown, she could still encircle her eye and it would be more flattering.

          I think the thought bubble in the final photo reads “I f’d this one up, didn’t I girls?”

          • ChaquitaPhilly

            AMEN!

      • Constant Reader

        I love eyeliner as much as the next girl, but I’m two years older than SJP, and for most ladies in our age group heavy liner under the eyes just accentuates dark circles and crow’s feet. Every once in a while I try to go a little crazy with the eyeliner, and every time I end up starting over because I can SEE in my mirror that I just aged myself 10 years. Why SJP? Why can’t you see that, too?

        • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

          All of that, plus it makes her eyes look extremely tiny.

    • marlie

      I’m going to reserve judgement on the shoes, but they *really* don’t belong with this dress. And I would have rather her worn a nice blazer/jacket instead of the bodysuit, if she wanted her arms covered. The dress itself is… fine… but I’ve never really liked that pink and black combo.

      • sagecreek

        Yeah, I’d like to see those on Lupita, with that PP dress she was rocking the other day.

        But here? There’s avoiding the matchy-matchy, and then there’s Crazytown.

      • filmcricket

        Yeah, black and pink always says Goth Barbie to me, and that particular shade of pink says “my grandma’s bathroom.” I don’t think the dress is ruined by the styling because it wasn’t that great to begin with.

      • Jessica Freeman

        Oh I’m judging those shoes hard. They are not exactly pretty on their own, either.

      • SugarSnap108

        Black-and-pink will forever remind me of ballet class.

      • MilaXX

        She was on Wendy Williams a while back. Her outfit didn’t look bad, but the shoes just look okay. Not bad, but not fabulous!

      • kmk05

        Those shoes would rock with a pair of dark jeans, a nice blousy tucked in top (maybe a cream colour) and blazer or leather jacket (brown or camel for spring). Casual but put together without being too preppy.

        …Or maybe I should stop projecting.

        • marlie

          That’s totally how I would wear them!

          • kmk05

            If we’re judging the shoes, though: they’re a bit old-school, no? Without any modern twist (except maybe the colour). They may be extremely comfortable, though, in which case they’ll definitely find customers.

            • marlie

              I really like the “retro” shoe in general, but it has to be paired with something distinctly modern, otherwise I think it starts to look costume-y or dated.

            • kmk05

              I actually want them in gold, if we’re being totally honest (hey, might as well go fantasy shopping). With a long red gown, Or just jeans :D

              I think the colour of the dress here (is this blush? Pink? Blushing dusty pink?) really isn’t helping with making the shoes appear modern.

            • Janet B

              Helen Mirren might buy those shoes.

      • 3boysful

        There’s something about pink and black that reads “cheap lingerie.” Esp when it involves lace AND fishnet.

    • mjude

      she “goes” with the curtain. I am sad

    • lexilexi

      Not too long ago she said wearing high heels has ruined her feet. Maybe that’s why she looks in pain.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        Possibly. In which case she is a fool. Why wouldn’t you then make an enormous amount of money out of designing chic flat shoes, instead of inflicting more heels on the world?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      I like the “tassel” necklace made all out of metal. A metal tassel! I like saying tassel.

      Tassel.

      • kimmeister

        I just bought one yesterday! The chain is a little longer though. And probably cost 1/1000 of the price of this one.

    • Jessica Freeman

      Further proof that Bestey made Carrie a fashionista but Sarah Jessica has zero skills.

    • Danielle

      Nah, son.

    • SugarSnap108

      I don’t think I’d like this dress on her even if she hadn’t sabotaged the whole thing. It’s a little too precious, and too close to her skin tone. But mostly, I’m busy hating the mesh.

    • jw_ny

      who in their right mind would pair those shoes with that dress?! ..and those sleeves?! oh yeah…SJP. smh.

    • MilaXX

      I don’t mind the body suit so much as I detest the green shoes. They are a complete needle scratch.

    • Erica

      It’s a very odd dress to wear to try and highlight the shoes, because it doesn’t. And that shade of pink isn’t her best color. And the bodysuit is strange. AND I wish she’d try something different with her hair besides the middle part. But what bugs ME the most is the I wish she had worn a better bra. That is all.

    • Anna

      Just sad. And she doesn’t look particularly thrilled to be there either. It’s like she knows her only sources of income are SATC and shoes, except the public ain’t really buying anymore.

      • decormaven

        She now has a line of stationery at Hallmark. Haven’t see her do any real PR for it.

        • Anna

          Huh, did not know that! I’m impressed when people use real stationery these days, but I guess she must’ve realized people aren’t really clamoring for stationery period, nevermind ones with her brand on it, hence the lack of PR.

          • Alyssa

            I love using stationery, but I also refuse to give up and go digital with my books. I’m a paper girl. I’m dreading the day when my favorite books are no longer published as actual books…some magazines now only publish the electronic versions.

            • Anna

              That’s awesome! I love it when people use stationery, aside from the usual invitations. I asked a family friend for some recipes recently and she sent them to me, hand-written, on gorgeous monogrammed stationery. They’re proudly displayed on my fridge.

              I’m with you on the books, lifelong book-lover as well.

            • marlie

              I used to collect stationery, and I still have a lot. I don’t use it as much anymore, but it’s still nice to jot off a handwritten note every once in a while.

            • marlie

              I love books – physical books – but I’ve also fallen in love with the convenience of an eReader. It’s great when I travel, and don’t have to lug around 4-5 books (because I used to do that). It usually comes down to wanting a real book because it’s a favorite author or subject. (E.g., there was no question that I’d be getting the REAL version of TLo’s book!)

            • 3boysful

              Me, too.

    • kmk05

      Wooooooow that’s bad. It’s just…badly mismatched instead of chic mismatched. Ignoring the fishnet sleeves entirely (because LOLWHUT), those shoes don’t really go with that dress.

      For something hitting below the knee, 1) higher heels would be more appropriate, 2) a strap cutting across should probably be vetoed, and 3) I don’t understand the colour pairing. Except if she thought it would reference spring. But then go for mint, not booger green.

      • hillmad

        I love your comment “mint, not booger green”!
        Exactly. Those shoes look as random as that lavender ribbon she has around her right forearm.

        • kmk05

          The longer you look at them the worse it gets.

    • MarTeaNi

      Speaking as someone going to a 90s themed party tonight….you WERK those fishnet sleeves, gurl! Now put on some Docs and you can hang with me tonight.

    • tallgirl1204

      Full-on Carrie Bradshaw mistake.

    • amanda siegelson

      sure, the bodysuit and shoes are foul – but they almost pale in comparison to that necklace. i’m feeling queasy just looking at it.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      The shoes are not good. SJP can do better than this-and tsk, tsk, for messing with a Valentino frock by adding the fugly body suit.

    • Ruth Preston

      There is a metric crap-ton of wrong going on in that photo. And I’m curious about what appears to be a length of lavender gift ribbon around her wrist. Is it Awareness Month for something lavender? We don’t hear about that stuff all the way out here on the top left coast.

    • lojoso

      Time for a bra intervention SJ

    • Chickadeep

      I’m okay with the Mamie Eisenhower’s bathroom dusty pink—i think SJP can actually pull off that color—but I can’t get past the awful sleeves and the tacky lingerie black lace trim on the bottom, which doesn’t belong in the same fashion universe as those shoes.

      • Wendi126

        Wow..a Mamie Eisenhower reference..nice

        • Chickadeep

          Well? It’s that EXACT color! :-D

    • schadenfreudelicious

      that really is a textbook case of a “I got dressed in the dark” outfit…

    • artgirl9

      time for a haircut-stat.

      • MoHub

        It’s been time for a haircut for the last 10 years.

    • Yolanda13

      I have no words for this look. A few tears, but no words.

      • MoHub

        Nope. I’m beyond tears.

    • mommyca

      Why????? I guess now I don’t feel bad that I probably cannot afford her shoes… Not only the color is hideous, the shape is “old lady” sandals… Terrible! But I did see a picture of her on Vogue in an article about her shoe line and whatever she was wearing was pretty nice, nothing like this green disappointment… Definitely a scroll down fug!

    • Janet B

      Why does she dress so much older than she is?

      • Gatto Nero

        And wear the hair of someone half her age?

        • Skippymom1

          <3

    • cocohall

      I think she was trying to balance out that black frippery on the hem with the black fishnet sleeves, which, in theory, makes sense. The hem is too attention pulling. But if your best styling solution involves BLACK FISHNET SLEEVES you really need to just start over. She could have partially redeemed this with some really good shoes, but, no. She has her SJP shoes. Which are destined to be on the “reduced for quick clearance” shelf so fast you could sprain your neck watching it happen. I am the mother of twins. I am going to assume there was some sort of emergency (pink eye, head lice, projectile vomiting, etc. X2) that left no time for a look in the mirror.

      • demidaemon

        That might explain this outfit. What about all her recent disasters AND her continually tragic eye make-up. I’m starting to think she is one of those freaks who tattoos her eyeliner on.

    • B_C_J

      Beautiful dress that was ruined by one too many accessories (mesh sleeves -ugh!). The shoes look tired & ugly. The jewelry especially the gold necklace is quite lovely.

    • MK03

      Yikes. Valentino and Hot Topic do not make a good combo. And the way she’s posing makes her look like she’s about to fall over.

    • lobsterlen

      Is her hair hiding an applique on those mesh net arm thingy? This outfit just reached a new low. Talk about adding insult to injury!

      • GillianHolroyd

        Nah, that’s a tattoo.

        • lobsterlen

          She has a tattoo near her arm pit?

          • amanda siegelson

            no – i definitely think you were right – it’s an applique.

      • kimmeister

        What, you don’t want your armpits to look gangrenous?

    • Lilithcat

      The shoes aren’t bad per se. But they’re hideous with that dress.

      And I don’t know what she was thinking with that mesh shirt or bodysuit or whatever it is. Take it off, add a skinny black belt and some decent shoes, and she’d be good to go.

      Oh, and one necklace, kiddo.

    • kt

      Grey Gardens, it’s all I see, in every photo of her.

      • Skippymom1

        I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but thank you – Grey Gardens. THAT’S it. And now I will never being to unthink it. Thank you. [no, really! perfect!]

    • Gatto Nero

      A sad look to go with her demeanor.

    • Anna

      Ah, I see SJP is going for the “Granny-Teenager” look.

    • nannypoo

      Isn’t she going to be an editor at Vogue? They might want to rethink this decision.

      • lobsterlen

        Really? Wow.

    • RussellH88

      Random fact, I first learned what fishnets were because my mother was watching the “If I Could Turn Back Time” music video on TV and I said “Mommy, what is she wearing on her legs?” and I learned what fishnets were.

      • kimmeister

        If you want to know their true origin, look up the Argyle Sweater comic strip from Monday Feb 24th.

        • alyce1213

          Looked, very funny!

    • KinoEye

      To make matters worse, she’s enrolled in the Lena Dunham School of Bad Posing, for reasons best known to herself.

    • VioletFem

      No. A Hot Topic mesh top will never go with a Valentino dress.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Honey, if you don’t want to go sleeveless, then don’t pick a sleeveless dress.

    • jilly_d

      sweetie, no.

    • bertkeeter

      Some people just CAN’T stay home at night with the kids and say, “I’ve had enough!” HUNEY…you’re a clothes horse at best…NOT a designer! Remember Halston Heritage?

      • GillianHolroyd

        I see what you did there.

    • queeniethebold

      i don’t understand the eyes. i don’t understand the hair. i don’t understand the shoes. And “don’t understand” doesn’t begin to describe my reaction to WEARING A BODYSUIT UNDERNEATH THAT DRESS.

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      Ugh. Stop returning to the Carrie well. It is dry. So. Very. Dry.

      • Imasewsure

        To be fair, Carrie would have worn a tutu under this and probably would have sported a big fricking bow in her hair… be thankful this is just dull and ugly…

        • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

          Fair enough. I saw it as a kind of real world/slightly matured riff on her tutu ensemble.

    • CommentsByKatie

      Love this, but I’m terrified that this is the 10th or so look from the last few weeks that looks like a Modcloth dress. I am going to cry buckets of tears if Modcloth style goes big, because then it will go OUT big and I will have absolutely nothing in my closet to wear.

    • ashtangajunkie

      Full disclosure: I have loved SJP since I was a little girl and have a difficult time being objective when it comes to her. As far as WTF happened here, I got nothin’. The shoes!?

      • demidaemon

        I do love her. Especially when she was in movies with Bette Midler, as she was always hilarious in them. However, her recent fashion choices = DO NOT LIKE.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      For somebody who is known as a fashion icon, I don’t think she’s particularly good at dressing herself…

    • NBG

      At an event to sell shoes, why would you wear ugly shoes with a terribly styled outfit ON TOP of looking like you haven’t slept in three days!??! I do a better job of promoting my beat-up Nikes on the treadmill!

    • Alfred Cox

      Those sleeves are just too strange. But I like this look overall. Minus the puke green pumps, of course.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      Fishnet, pink/green combination, Valentino, and pearls – sorry, this is my Christmas because everything I love is here.

    • Violentcello

      I think I bought something similar from Charlotte Russe in 1999. With the pearls, too.

    • Skippymom1

      So, now, apparently they are wearing silk and fishnet at baseball games? WTheck? It looks like “sleeves” , just like what my brothers used to wear at their baseball games. But then I scrolled down and it made sense – the green shoes represent the ball field? Right? It’s metaphorically speaking to me. Oh SJP – you so clever.

    • Claudia Berry

      I don’t understand how this woman has ever been considered a fashion icon. I don’t get her at all.

    • frannyprof

      Ugh. She bugs.

    • Constant Reader

      Swap out the pearls for a set of pink rosary beads in her hands and add a matching pink jacket, and you have the outfit my grandmother was buried in back in 2001. I has a sad.

    • Imasewsure

      Thought the dress was ugly but it’s fine without all the dreck. And UGLY GREEN SHOES!! No thanks

    • megohd

      she looks depressed.

    • Garcia Loca

      Why does she always gravitate to that beige pink that washes her out? Why, Sarah Jessica, why???

    • Tracy_Flick

      *whispers in shame* I sort of like the shoes. I like the 70s sandal vibe. I think they’d be cute with ladypants and a breezy blouse.

      • DeTrop

        Thank you. I like them too. THEY certainly don’t ruin the look.

    • FrigidDiva

      I don’t want to sound mean, but there’s just something about this whole ensemble that screams “trying to look young” but just ages her desperately. I don’t know if it’s the black eyeliner or the mesh sleeves, but this whole look is just so wrong.

      • Joanna

        She seems to always be trying to resuscitate her Carrie drag, but I really think she needs recognize that that ship has sailed and it’s time to move on.

    • Dagney

      Jesus drop the eyeliner. She looks so much better with less eyeliner. The shoes look a little Thom McCann.

      • Saturnine

        Oh good lord–I’ll see your Thom McCann and raise you a Baker’s!

    • nowlo

      Absolutely nothing here goes together. Yikes.

    • Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

      Ew.

    • ovarB

      She’s just a veil short and an extra shoe long from being Miss Havisham.

    • Sally Spannagle

      She can’t be Carrie forever.

    • GeoDiva

      There are just too many things that are wrong to even break it all down. Thumbs down.

    • quiltrx

      Yuck, she really made a mess of this. And she and Jeremy Renner should have a squinting contest.
      And between the hair and the weird stances, she looks like she’s trying to do her best Fiona Apple impression.

    • Clash D

      The pearls and that random lavender ribbon. Nope.

    • H2olovngrl

      I don’t think the dress was all that cute to begin with. That color…yeesh.

    • Kent Roby

      It looks like SJP is going out of her way with the odd combining of elements to make us think that she really IS Carrie Bradshaw. Um, No.

    • Caaro3

      Not. Good.

    • lynnlee

      Yuk.

    • J. Preposterice

      long strings of pearls that loop around a boob will never look good to me.

    • http://victoriapavlova.com Victoria Pavlova

      Da Fug.

    • Saturnine

      She needs shorter, angular haircut; a sleek, tailored suit; a great piece of jewelry; and a fresh face. Actually, she could even get away with what she has on if she didn’t look so unhappy.

    • majorbedhead

      What is she, two? “I don’t care if it’s cold out, mommy! I wanna wear my pretty pink dress!!!”

    • macwell

      If it wasn’t for the shoes, I don’ think this would have been such a horrible look….:(

    • Akemi

      Ummmmmmmmmm what’s up with the Madonna sleeves.

    • MyFavoriteColorIsGlitter

      She really needs to stop with the “I’m just a girl” posing.

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      I can’t hate on this look because Kittens, I am ALL ABOUT mesh sleeves. Wearing them RIGHT NOW as I type this. Showed an aunt of mine who had picked out a top yesterday and then put it back because she did not like so much of her arms showing how to deploy the mesh sleeves. My mesh is a lot finer than this fishnet, though.

      I think I have at least 8 mesh tops in various colours in my wardrobe. :) Do I lose my BK membership?

      • demidaemon

        Do you wear it with sad pink dresses and the wrong pair of shoes?

    • Pennymac

      *Puts an arm around her shoulders* “Ya know, SJ, I was married to the long hair for 20 years, too. Then I saw Elizabeth Moss at the Emmys and bobbed and blonded my hair. Come on, Gurl, lets go and get you a new doo. Also, PUT DOWN THE EYELINER”

    • SierraDelta

      What a CHEAP background to stand in front of. And yet, it’s better coordinated than her clothing and accessories choices.

    • Peeve

      I think she got dressed in the dark. Even the jewelry is random.

    • KT

      Bringing the crazy, just like I hoped for!

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Oh, honey.

    • FridaStaire

      Quell horreur!

    • Sam Erin

      grow up, carrie.

    • Lilyana_F

      Aw, the dress on the model looks adorable. I’d be a bit offended, if i designed it, to be honest… And why does she always insist on such harsh eye make-up? Makes no sense.

    • demidaemon

      The hair, though. How tragic.