Bravo’s Fashion Night Recap

Posted on March 14, 2013

To be honest, with the book on deadline and everything, we felt like we couldn’t take on any more TV blogging at the moment, since it’s infinitely more time-consuming than red carpet and celebrity commentary. We made the sad decision to skip the blogging of The Rachel Zoe Project this season, even though she told us personally that she loves us. We felt bad. Then a funny thing happened. We sat down to watch the entire block of Wednesday night Bravo programming known as “Fashion Night,” and found ourelves far more entertained than we expected to be. Partially because both The Rachel Zoe Project and It’s a Brad, Brad World seemed to have a renewed focus on fashion and styling instead of painfully tedious interpersonal melodarama. Add the hilarious Dukes of Melrose, two bitchy queens who run a high-end vintage store catering to a celebrity clientele, and we felt like we’d come home, darlings.

So what did we decide to do after decided we didn’t have enough time to blog another show right now? Hey, let’s add all three to the roster! We never said we were smart about our time management, dolls.

Bravo+Fashion+Wednesday+March13+1 The Rachel Zoe Project: There was more of a focus on the fashion world in last week’s episode, which centered on Rachel and Rodger running around to various Fashion Week shows and staging their own. Marriage and baby drama seemed to have been put aside for a welcome glimpse into the unique world Zoe & Co. spend their time in. Also: Rachel got bangs and this spun the earth off its axis momentarily. This week there’s more of a focus on the sales end of the business as Mandana and Rachel have a meeting with bunch of semi-bitchy Nordstrom buyers who dress like shit and purse their lips at Rachel’s collection. Rachel can’t understand why the women of America don’t want to wear maxi-skirts and presents herself as an example of how to look great in one, failing to note or acknowledge that she is roughly 1/8 the size of the average person. Rachel tells the bitches at Nordstrom that ‘This is how the cool girls dress and that’s all I’m gonna say.” Then she gets up and keys their lockers on the way out. Rachel and Rodger visit their soon-to-be-opened salon (Editor’s Note: What?), which is at the moment a space suitable for hosting a rave or storing office furniture. The artist’s rendering of the finished salon looks roughly like a bathroom in Versailles. Rachel tells us that she knows the salon will get done in time, exactly the way she wants it. This assures the audience that the salon is going to be a major hassle and there will be tears and screaming before it’s all over. Back at Zoe International, suddenly they have 15,000 employees and 3 million square feet of office space. Or something. The rest of the episode hinges on the fact that her massive, overworked, international staff can’t find a brown sweater. But mostly, it’s just Rachel telling everyone they’re “Maje,” and little “Sky-sky” shrieking his head off because Mommy insists on dressing him in hats more suitable for elderly Jewish men. Also: Rodger is frustrated about something. CONSTANTLY.

It’s a Brad, Brad World: Brad is in NY with his suddenly expanded staff of heavy-lidded hipsters.  He informs them helpfully (through name-dropping) that they all have fittings with Christina Ricci, Bravo+Fashion+Wednesday+March13+2Stacy Keibler,  Jessica Alba and Petra Nemcova.They meet her at the Diesel store in Soho to fit her for an outfit for the Diesel show. Brad surveys the racks and tells us that one needs “Terminator vision” to do his job and that his laser visor helps him make decisions.  Also, this comes out of his mouth: “When Petra Nemcova walks into a room, you are like, ‘What happened when you were made?” Petra essentially ignores all of Brad’s suggestions and winds up choosing jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Everyone acts like this is the ne plus ultra of style. Just outside on the street, out of camera range, someone dressed in Petra Nemcova’s Diesel show ensemble walks by every 15 seconds. Later, Brad talks about taking a dump in front of his staff. Brad asks his staff if it’s okay if he talks about taking a dump in front of them. Staff members are confused as to whether he means talking in front of them or dumping in front of them. The next morning, Thomas the assistant stylist is still asleep and hasn’t delivered looks to Petra’s hotel. “I don’t know how we sleep through alarms now,” muses Brad. So true. Thomas strolls in much later, looking sleepy. Then again, he always seems to look that way.  “I don’t play the boss card a lot,” Brad tells us, before he plays the boss card and threatens to fire Thomas if it happens again. Brad has learned a Very Important Lesson: “If I wasn’t comfortable talking about poop, this never would have happened.”

Dukes of Melrose: Previously on: Two queens: “We’re not partners, we’re business partners!” Christos: “I’m frugal!” Jared: “I’m not frugal. And I dress like Liberace on spa day.” This week: Oscar Bravo+Fashion+Wednesday+March13+3season! The boys get a phone call from Melissa McCarthy’s manager who asks Cameron to style her for the Oscars. Christos asks Cameron how he’s going to handle the task of dressing Melissa for the Oscars with almost no time to spare. Cameron purses his lips, arches an eyebrow and asks the room, “What would Jesus do?” We can assume that what follows is the answer to that question, so apparently Jesus picks a fairly ugly gown that has to have major alterations to fit her and still comes out looking like an unmade bed. In other news, Christos gets invited to the Elton John party by his good friend Garcelle Beauvais, who just happened to stop by the store the day before the Oscars to pick out a gown for it.  Christos reacts like a gay kid on gay Christmas morning. We admit, we’re jealous. Garcelle informs us that it’s all good, because “I get a hot date and I don’t have to put out at the end of the night.” This makes us sad for Garcelle and her presumed dating life. Later, Garcelle calls Christos at the last minute as he’s trying on bow ties that look like furry insects to tell him that something suddenly came up. She claims she had an allergic reaction to her makeup, but that just made us laugh long and hard. Christos is crestfallen. We admit, we’re mean because we’re jealous. He is forced to dress his very cute husband in a tuxedo and party with Elton John. Now we actively hate him. The next morning, Cameron and Christos review all the Oscar gowns very bitchily, which makes us love them again, mainly because these are the conversations T Lo have EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Cameron asks Christos about the Elton John party and Christos responds in a manner that elevates him to gay sainthood. ”The fashion was pretty bad with all those Kardashian people around.” Then Cameron asks Christos for his opinion on Melissa McCarthy’s dress. Christos reveals that smooth diplomacy is not on his list of skills. “You- you- you did, you know, you did-you did-you did your, you know, best.” “If you stare someone in the eyes for longer than 5 seconds,” Cameron informs us, “it means you want to have sex with them or kill them.” He stares at Christos for 5 seconds.

 

[Photo Credit: Bravo TV]

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  • Sobaika

    I’ve been to Rachel Zoe’s blow dry salon – if you’re having a treat yo self kind of moment it’s pretty good.

    Really enjoying The Dukes of Melrose, mostly because they’ve mastered a bit of bitchery and snark that the other two shows don’t have.

    • MilaXX

       Loves me some Retta!

  • hughman

    ‘Dukes of Melrose’ grew on me when I saw they were funnier and more tounge-in-cheek than the pretentious queens they came off at first. However I hope I’m not the only one who was “why the hell was Garcelle Beauvais invited to Elton John’s party?” and she would “leave Christos’ name at the door”? Huh? Is the Elton John party like some bottle club in Vegas? 

    • MilaXX

       I could be wrong, but since it’s for charity, I think it’s kind of an anyone with a check book type thing.

      • hughman

        Thanks for the info, I had no idea. They always talk about it like it’s an audience with the (other) Queen. 

  • SassieCassy

    i feel really bad for melissa mccarthy. it cant be easy to have such frank discussion about your body and fashion choices play out on tv. i like that her stylist was so supportive of her though.

    • Sobaika

      I couldn’t tell if the other option they had for Melissa McCarthy was much better, but based on color alone I preferred it. It looked aubergine?

    • MilaXX

       I didn’t think the conversation was negative. There aren’t many vintage options for plus size gals. In fact very few other than Tadashi Shoji or David Meister even manage to get the proportions right. I really wish stylist would look to more of the plus size boutique brands when dressing fuller figures.

      • http://twitter.com/FunButNutz John Spodick

        She was a nominee!   She should have had a gown made custom for her.  Vintage is lovely, but it has to fit!

  • Frank_821

    Yes I am surprised how much I enjoyed the Dukes. I came in on the end of Rachel Zoe by accident and we stuck it out with Brad.

    Yes those 2 boys are master shade throwers. Sadly now I know who’s responsible for that fiasco on Melissa McCartney

    BTW: Are all the stylists in love with vintage Aliah( spelling?)?

    • Sobaika

      It’s like, a totally important designer.

      • 2ndhandchic

         I was waiting for Brad to say that but sadly he never did (or they edited it out).

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

        I love you. 

    • Lisa_Cop

      Azzedine Alaia.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       Alaia. Totally important designer!

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

      Alaia? I didn’t watch, but are they talking about Azzedine Alaia? 

      Also, I love Sobaika for making a Clueless reference because that was my first thought.

  • mjude

    i really like the dukes, i find them really fun & interesting.  as for rachel & brad…..

  • Introspective

    i have always secretly loved Rachel Zoes show. Even when her show got unbearable and got really Rodger-focused I rode it out cause in an hrs time Id be guaranteed to see at least 15 items of clothing or accessories that Id cut a bitch to own, whether on her back or on her racks.

    The season premiere- what with Prabal Gurung and Oscar de la Renta as well as her own spring shows covered- had my head about to explode… Just gorgeous fashion!!! Full stop.

    And that is why no matter what I will tune in to see whiny Rach, whinier Rodg, and their cute little overdressed butterball of a kid.

    • Lisa_Cop

      I like Brad and his show. He is a welcome breath of fresh air after whiny Rachel & Rodger.

      • Cz

        I was just okay with Brad’s show until I saw a replay of an old episode where his partner staged a Les Miz flashmob at their anniversary party with Megan Mullally of Will&Grace fame playing Eponine. It was awesome, and now I can’t stop watching. Also, he’s such a noob compared to RZ that it makes me want to just pat him on the head and make him give me shoes and accessories.

  • MilaXX

    Oh I am sooooo happy for this recap. This does make for a joyous night of fashion. Hopefully the focus will remain on fashion with only a side detour of personal biz and drama.
    RZ – Okay Skylar is cute, but a little less of him please. That kid’s shrieking was nails on a chalkboard. His parent do more than enough shrieking all by themselves. I love a maxi dress as much as the next gal, but really Rachel, no one is wearing a maxi to the office, or  heaven forbid on the subway where is can pick up every scrap of dirt in the city. There is also middle ground between mini skirts and maxi dresses. Lastly if I was in an office with a bunch of suits wearing button down shirts, I’d look really crazy walking in wearing a my boho maxi dress and faux fur vest.
    Brad – Nice to see his business is growing but he lost a few points with me when he not only talked about his poo in front of his employees, he talked abut it during a meal! That’s nasty.
    Dukes – I am surprised that I love this show, but I do. It’s fun. I was happy that Christos gave Cameron serious side eye about that aweful swarovski covered tent he made for Melissa.  As someone seemingly plagued by allergies, I felt bad for Gabrielle. I’ve had last minute allergic reactions like that, even with products I’ve used numerous times before.

    • BookishBren

      Yep. My eyelids have swollen out so far that I could look up and see them from a reaction to an eye cream I had been using for months!! It stiiiiiiinks!

  • Lisa_Cop

    How long has Dukes of Melrose been on the Bravo shelf? When the guys were talking about Melissa McCarthy I thought they might be responsible for that terrible gray jersey dress. Then I saw the pictures of other celebs and realized this was an Oscars about 3 years ago.

    • SassieCassy

      it was last years oscars.

    • http://twitter.com/leasetegn Lea Setegn

      Oh. Then I take back my comment on who was to blame for MMC’s dress THIS year.

  • SteveKl

    Your use of ne plus ultra made me SQUEEE! Love it!

  • http://twitter.com/yankeefoxtrot Alex McGeagh

    Soooo glad you boys are recapping these shows. It’s so much more enjoyable than the crap pile PR has become. Love watching Christos and Cameron throw shade (and I’ll be honest, next time I’m in LA I really want to go to Decades!). Rachel seems so vapid on the show and I wonder how many braincells I lose every time I hear the word “Maje”…but yet it is so addicting. And she is VERY good at what she does…

    • Vickiefantastico

      Yeah, every time I decide Rachel is just an airhead, she whips out her stylist fantastic-ness. It’s amazing how good she is. Which is why I’ve decided something was amiss with Anne Hathaway’s Oscar fiasco. I don’t think there’s anyway Rachel would have allowed that to happen. She’s just too good.

      • Jecca2244

         and i think Rodger and Rachel met at George Washington Uni, too. I’d say a bit of her airheadness is an act.

  • MsALVA

    Oh yay! So glad you’re recapping these! Especially Dukes of Melrose EXACTLY because that’s kind of how I imagine T & Lo talk to each other. They’re so perfectly snarky. And they have my dream jobs: selling vintage couture AND having a reason to raid through glamorous women’s closets. 

  • Imasewsure

    This is awesome recapping and well needed since reality tv has become so dull and non-MAJE lately. I will be watching blocks of The Dukes of Melrose on the next rainy day for sure… Rachel and Brad I will drop in on because like most soap operas, you only need a few minutes to catch up once the characters and story lines are established. Thanks TLo!!

  • marilyn

    Love it all, and I didn’t even have to watch!  Thanks!

  • MilaXX

    Does anyone know if stylist also make the hair and makeup recommendations or just clothes and accessories?  Zoe & Brad appear to just do clothes and accessories, but it would seem to me that some of them would at least make suggestions on hair/makeup because bad face and hair could totally ruin a good look.

  • Orange Girl

    Rodger is cute, but he’s looking a little like Scott Stapp this season. Not a great look.

    • BookishBren

      Haha. I wondered if he wasn’t trying to have longer hair to match the kid….?

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    I am so glad you guys are blogging these shows–it’s like vintage TLo!

  • BookishBren

    I thought the clip on Zoe of Rodger and his assistant talking was hilarious with her adding that she doesn’t really have to respond to him much. He was just talking and talking and talking. lol

    Sky-Sky is a very cute kid but seems to be an annoyance in the workplace. I figure his hanging out and screaming while Rachel is trying to do business is just for the camera and doesn’t go on when the cams arent’ around. If not, I predict her staff has a lot of Motrin in their desks. 

    BBW seems to be too short this season. It was an hour last year and at times that felt like too much, but his business has grown. I know they are trying to focus on fashion but I have a total crush on his partner Gary and would love to see more of him. He is HILARIOUS on Twitter. 

    I didn’t really enjoy DoM last week but I gave it another go this and really liked it. I still felt sorry for Melissa McCarthy due to the “Omg, how I am going to possibly dress a plus-sized actress?!!!” She really should have had something made for her. It just made me feel sorry for her, I guess, that her weight was discussed on some level on national television. 

    I was just complaining that EVERY SINGLE SHOW IN THE WORLD seems to be on Sunday night (there is a very complicated DVR schedule involving East and West coast airings to get it all in) and nothing was on mid week. I am LOVING Bravo’s Fashion Night on Wednesday!

  • http://www.facebook.com/djkomisar DeDe Jacobs Komisar

    THESE are the assholes responsible for Melissa McCarthy’s travesty of an Oscar dress? I don’t care how charming they are; they should be shot.

  • ChiKat67

    Favorite part of the 1st RZ ep what’s when She ran into Andy and Brad backstage at a show and she & Brad COMPLETELY ignored each other.

  • http://twitter.com/leasetegn Lea Setegn

    Well, that solves the mystery of who did that to Melissa McCarthy. Gay stylists everywhere cringe.

  • http://www.thirteen.org/program-content/downton-dish-season-3-episode-1/ Gotham Tomato

    Hmmm…I had decided to skip Zoe this season because I thought all the bickering was played out and I didn’t want to waste another season listening to it. But if since you boys are reporting that it’s moved forward (& blogging about it) I’ll give it another chance. Cheers!

    –GothamTomato