Pairs Division: Lopez and Anthony

Posted on June 08, 2011

The entertainment industry’s happiest couple is at it again!  Jennifer Lopez and her sunny, bubbly, lights-up-a-room  husband, Marc Anthony attended The Samsung Hope For Children Gala.

Jennifer Lopez is wearing a Temperley dress paired with Louboutin shoes.

Temperley London Fall 2011 Collection/Model: Gwen Loos

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HE: Annoys us to no end. What’s the point in showing up to a children’s benefit if you’re going to scowl like a mafioso in all the pictures? Once again, he looks like a kid wearing his big brother’s suit. It’s not a bad suit and normally the fact that it’s too big on him wouldn’t cause us to take so many points off, but his perma-scowl is pissing us off and making him unpleasant to look at, so… Score: 4/10. Lighten the fuck up, dude.

SHE: Is wearing a bridesmaid dress from a wedding in February 1995. What is it with these two and fit? His clothes are always too big and hers are always a size too small. Is body dysmorphic disorder running rampant in the Lopez-Anthony household? Do they not own mirrors? Is everyone around them afraid to say, “Your clothes don’t fit you?” We do not fear the Lopez-Anthonys. We are just the queens to say “Crack a goddamn smile and put something on that fits you, bitches.” Style-wise, this isn’t thrilling us but that’s just a taste thing. It’s not a bad dress, but it doesn’t excite. Still, that’s not a crime, considering they’re at a benefit and not an awards gala or movie premiere. Diva style would have been inappropriate, so this is J Lo’s version of demure. But we have to take some points off for fit and maybe a point off for the bridal/prom factor and also the uninspired accessories. Score: 6/10.

Combined Score: 5/10, which seems about right to us.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage,]

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  • Anonymous

    He can’t be seen in mirrors.

    • Anonymous


      • Eclectic Mayhem

        *snorts with laughter*

    • Thanks. I needed that laugh.

    • Tee Hee

    • I spit my Frapppucino! BWAHAAHHAAA!!!!
      Love TLo’s comment that this is JLo’s take on demure!

  • Marc Anthony who?  These two are just about as uninteresting as they come.

  • Anonymous

    If that dress fit correctly old Jho would be looking hot. As it is she just looks like an unmade bed. He gets an automatic O points for wearing the shades. Loathe it when stars where shades on the red carpet or indoors. Why can’t you look me in the eye? 

    • Anonymous

      totally agree about the sunglasses

  • Anonymous

    The dress looks like it should be worn by a Kardashian. Not Good. 

  • Anonymous

    He looks unwell. Maybe it’s because the suit is too large/ill-fitting, but he looks skeleton thin under those layers. 

  • MilaXX

    JLo looks like LaLopez & Marc only really looks different when he’s acting. Score is fair. 5/10

  • Anonymous

    Perfect look for a Christmas Charity Ball.
    It’s June! Maybe she can’t afford but one party dress, poor dear.

  • Eclectic Mayhem

    Judging by the runway photo the three big ‘runkles’ across her hips are part of the design…  why would anyone actually sew in runkles that make it look like the dress doesn’t fit?!  Perhaps in an attempt to disguise the fact that the dress doesn’t fit…?

  • Anonymous

    Even though its too small, JLo wears that dress much better than the model.  Bonus, you cannot see her bellybutton.

  • Can too see her belly button.  😉  And Jenny.  One size up dear.  NO ONE will know!  We promise!

    • Anonymous

      two sizes up, that dress is ridiculously tight and pulls all over her midsection!

  • kim i

    take another point off for her open-mouthed, half-closed-eyes pose in photo #3 up there, pretty please?  that “look how sexy i am, papi,” stare makes me want to punch her.

    • Anonymous

      Seriously. I’m still not sure why she is considered an outstanding beauty…I can pick out 10 women of all ages here at the pool/gym who are far more attractive and stylish than JLo. And none of them is married to a vampire!

  • Ted Kane

    Every time I see them, I start to hum “Is She Really Going out with Him.”  Which is kind of odd because he’s a good looking guy, but he sure manages to make himself unattractive.  That dress is not great on her, but she really can’t help but look hot.

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if Marc can even find clothes that fit him.  I saw him on Regis and Kelly the other day…he looked thin and frail even next to those 2 tiny people.  He’s scary, sickly thin.  I once thought he was sexy and attractive…no longer.

    She looks like a cheap trophy wife clamoring for any male attention…he looks like a possessive mafioso ready to cut anyone that looks at her.  So cliche. 


  • Anonymous

    I can’t score him accurately because I have a weakness for skinny guys in loose clothes. Although if you *look* like a devious denizen of the criminal  underworld, you really have to smile to be attractive. It’s only those disgustingly wholesome, corn-fed types that benefit from the psycho brooding stare. 8/10 (told you I was biased)

    She’s just dreadful. Dreadful. I have seen sexier and more elegant results on middle-aged & older latina doctors’ wives at continuing medical education conventions.  The girl is beautiful why does she want to look like she made her ill-fitting dress from some left over swagged drapes from a stage-set bordello?  4/10 and it’s only that high because she didn’t hot glue any shiny crap to it.

    Combined score 6/10.

  • Anonymous

    JLo didn’t realize that the fabric lying over her shoulder was meant to be used to take the dress out two sizes so that it would actually fit her.

  • Anonymous

    Is he sucking in his cheeks, supermodel-style?! I think he is!

    • kimgonzales

      I think you’re right!  As if he didn’t look gaunt enough.  It always seems like she might eat him if he pisses her off… 

  • Anonymous

    I think a ban is needed for these goddamn nude platform shoes.  Is that all anyone owns anymore??

    • Anonymous

      Agreed. Fug to the max.

  • Lori B

    Did I miss something, is this National Show Your Belly Button Through Your Clothes week? 

  • Anonymous

    That’s just an ugly dress.  It wouldn’t look good on anyone.  She is beautiful and does not need to wear such cheap, trashy-looking clothes to get our attention.

  • What’s with the seam on JLo’s neckline?  I think it’s supposed to look artfully folded, but it just looks like someone can’t sew a decent seam.  I’ve noticed this a lot, hems and seams that just look sloppy.  On this dress it makes it look like home sewn bridesmaid sewing.

    Mr. Anthony needs a whole box of sandwiches, plus some ice cream and pie.  He’s always scowling because he’s starving and his blood sugar is low.  A few sandwiches would help that, plus maybe he wouldn’t have to buy his suits in the boys department.

  • The first thing I thought when I saw JLo was size. Way too small.

  • Anonymous

    In the first pic I would swear JLo is stepping on Marc’s toe and saying out of the corner of her mouth: “For the love of all that is holy, will you crack a smile?” and that is what he came up with – a painful smirk.

    Dress – blech. Think she could try something not shiny for a chance?
    Suit – dude, try a colored shirt. It might add a healthy glow to the rest of you.

  • Thank goodness I am not the only one who thinks this dress is too small for her. I really wish starlets would start dressing closer to their age and well this century, 1985 is right I think that dress could have been in 16 Candles and been just fine.

  • Anonymous

    When the dress does that thing where it makes rolls across your midsection, the imperative is to find a bigger size – not smooth it out and tell yourself you look hot. She really does look like she’s going to a 90’s prom. She just needs curls hanging on the side of her face to complete the look.

  • Because of the fit, and J-lo’s size, her dress looks like a knock-off. I can’t see the stitch detailing on her dress because of the wrinkles. It doesn’t look the same. yuck

  • T-Lo, you’re being way too kind to Jenn here. The dress is a disaster. She looks like she should be wearing a fruit cornucopia on her head.

  • Anonymous

    If the dress were not so tight she would look really great. But it hurts my whole body just to look at her. He’s just scary.

  • margaret meyers

    Does he have Crohn’s Disease?  He gets scrawnier and scrawnier. That would contribute to the angry look.  They look really odd together, like she’s stealing his food and his air. 

  • It took me a while to realize his hands were in his pockets. I thought the sleeves were just way too long. And they might be. Oye. So bad.

  • Anonymous

    I just think that if she was going to go that tacky, then why not go all the way and wear the opera gloves too?

  • Anonymous

    I seem to be disagreeing with you today. I thought it was pretty good even with the fit issues. JLo looks much better than the model. Marc probably doesn’t scowl as he walks around so I’m giving him a pass too.

  • then again, the napkin does look way better on her shoulder than it does on the model’s…..

  • Lisa

    One garment is too tight, the other garment is too loose – it’s the story of their lives!

  • Something about the two of them toegether jes’ don’t seem right.  She by far not a big woman, but always looks like an Amazon next to him.  He’s just a clothes hanger, really.  And a scowly, sour one at that.  With her BM dress and his too-big suit, I give them barely a 3/10 combined.  They get that for her cute little bag. 

  • Anonymous

    She should just wear spandex 24/7. 

  • Anonymous

    Ha ha ha ha ha, you guys must be good if this is making me laugh at 1 AM after working a 14-hour shift.  Why, the next thing you know, all that sunniness will get them a gig as Disneyland reps!  Seriously: she looks like she needed a shoehorn to get into that dress, plus it’s not so great that it was worth the effort.  He looks like some of the sad, strung-out folks I’ve seen in the E. R.   5/10 was very generous.

  • Louise Isselé

    Can’t believe the dress looks even worse on the model.

  • Anonymous

    Fit is an issue, but so is the dress in general. Looks bad on the model and on J Lo. Wonder what it would look like on someone with a figure in between the two? I give the couple each a 4/10.

  • Anonymous

    Him: 1
    Her: 4
    They look bad.  She’s pretty enough that I almost give her a pass, but he looks so dang angry I’m brought back to my senses.

  • Anonymous

    5/10 is genorous.  He should be in negative territory for being an ass-hole at a event for children.  He looks like the grim reaper, reminding everyone just what will happpen if they don’t raise enough money at the event.  Jeez, lighten up.  And she looks EXACTLY like a 1995 bridesmaid.  Except in her smaller sister’s dress.

  • Anonymous

    They should have just traded clothes.

  • He also drives me nuts and just looks weird.  I liked how she was dressed though — I guess it is a little bridesmaid-ish, but I liked the color on her and thought it was a flattering dress.