Bottega Veneta Resort 2012 Collection

Posted on June 01, 2011

Summer is officially going on outside our windows, which are currently firmly closed as we contribute to the hole in the ozone layer (to the annoyance of our cats, who are having their squirrel and pigeon stalking activities severely curtailed by the weather). Since the sun is shining and the AC is buzzing, we’re in the perfect mood for this collection of sunny, breezy, minimalist looks.

“Resort,” much like “Fall,” Spring,” and “Plus-Sized,” means something entirely different to fashion people than it does to the rest of the world. Or at least, it means something different to each designer who produces a resort collection. It’s, in essence, a meaningless term meant to stand in for “Summer” because there is no official summer season in fashion, much like “fall” means “winter” and “pre-fall” means “fall.” Are you getting it now? Basically, fashion people make up any old silly shit that pops into their heads. Why are we going off on this annoying tangent? Because this is unquestionably a resort collection; not just a collection of summer clothes for rich skinny girls. With the bright colors, simple lines and safari-inspired looks, a lot of this looks tailor-made for yacht-jumping on the Riviera or shopping in the UAE. We’re not loving the heavily belted dresses (who wants to wear a big honking leather belt in hot weather?) but the rest of it is divine. We’ll meet you on the Promenade Deck for cocktails, darling.

 

[Photo Credit: bottegaveneta.com]

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  • Anonymous

    Much as I would love to meet you for one of those cocktails, it won’t be in any of these.  Other than the one in the top picture, there seems some little thing off in every one. (Like the lovely nipple patches!) I hope that this doesn’t mean that cocktails are off.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12500056 Joseph Lamour

      I was about to say something about those nip patches. LOL. I like the pink outfit but it might be too day glo for the public’s retinas.

  • http://twitter.com/mariacarson Maria Carson

    That white dress with the red stripe at the top looks WAY too much like the Gmail “mail” envelope for my tastes.

    • http://onionjam.tumblr.com SkipperJane

      So glad I’m not the only one who saw that!

      Overall, not loving it.  To shiny/heavy for summer, even if your yacht has A/C.

  • Anonymous

    That little orange dress is beyond cute!

  • Judy_J

    LOVE that first dress!  I wish it was hanging in my closet.

  • Anonymous

    This collection isn’t doing it for me. The colors are not coming together, nor are the silhouettes, with the exception of the very first dress and the black one in the bottom row. The nipple applique on that one suit is silly.

  • Anonymous

    I feel like I’ve seen half of these on PR before, so that’s weird.

    I really love the other half of them though.

  • Anonymous

    Those first three seem a bit heavy for “resort” wear.  And what the frickety-frack is going on with the top of the first one in the third row?  They look like holes, although I’m sure they are not, and that is ridic!  I’ll take the pink and orange dress.

  • Kathryn Gullo

    Number 7?  The brown pants, shirt and bustier look?  The one with pink nipple shields?  HIDEOUS.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Can we get a close up of the suit with the nipple patches?  I honestly thought her boobs were hanging out for a second….

  • Anonymous

    Love it once we got past the neutral first couple of rows.  Those wear not very “resort” to mean.  The nipple patches are bizarre.

  • MilaXX

    I don’t like the 2 leather dresses, that beige boob pants suit and the granny panty outfit. The rest looks like a lovely summer/resort/whateveh collection. Of course the magpie in me loves the bright colors the best.

    I’ll see ya at the bar, I could use a mojito.

  • scottyf

    I personally think the collection is quite beautiful, and I’ve learned bunches about Fashion Terminology.

    But I STILL don’t think Ginger Grant would have packed ANY of it for a three-hour tour.

  • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

    well, i like the hotpants / mid-c-mod bathing suit thats in direct order before the hooter-windows & i like the c1979 pink & orange dresses on the bottom {even tho their fetish-side belts are a little off-putting, @ least in context}. the rest of it’s okay–except the hooter-windows. & the hooter-windows are so  w e i r d  & not-okay that they trump most of the rest of it. what in heavens name were they thinking?

  • Anonymous

    I like most of the brightly colored outfits a lot. Some of the neutrals look heavy and out of place for summer wear. The outfit with the nipple patches looks silly.

    Cheers. Gin and Tonic for me.

  • http://twitter.com/merrigator merrigator

    I’m with Cheeky1 and love the bright colors.  And the shapes on these pieces are flattering to lots of body types.   Two big thumbs up from me.

  • Anonymous

    Some of these are minimal, but some are quite the opposite — heavy and overdone for summer. I like the minimals.

  • Anonymous

    HUNH….I really love the first dress. If the whole collection was like that then I would agree with you guys… I mean I’m fashion ignorant but you guys are smoking crack on this one… are you sure you showed us the right collection? The first six pieces with exception to the beige safari looking shorts jumpsuit look like Fall I mean ahem PRE-Fall. I mean a bathing suit and cardigan made of the upholstery of a couch at the salvation army? ewwh. 

    When we get to the bright colors, lighter fabrics it gets better… at least I’m reading Resort but with all of the pieces there is this under-designed, ill-fitting, fashion design student, project runway runner-up feeling to them. Remember when a PR contestant would fuck up the dress, drape some fabric on the model and slap a big ole belt from the Piper Lime accessory wall to give it shape? Yeah…   No WOW factor. no “I would wear that” quality. The collection is OUT. 

  • Anonymous

    I’m guessing Regina George was lurking around backstage and she rubbed off on one of the models…Some people can’t stand on their own two feet!

    On the other hand, I live in perpetual-hell-climate-land so nothing seems weird anymore. When you see a short, stalky woman wearing to-the-knee furry boots with “skinny” jeans and a thick pleather belt, you’re like: Hmm, maybe she’s onto something?…

    “Mint julep, please”

  • http://twitter.com/MarieanneDH MarieanneDH

    oh my God, the pinks!  The blues!  The yellow and blue number!  SO fabulous.

  • Anonymous

    Want the orange/pink thing in row 4, even if I does make me think of Dunkin Donuts.

  • Anonymous

    If a woman has even the hint of a boob she’s going to look like a linebacker/boxcar in half of those outfits (especially the top horror). And that’s just what every woman wants. 

  • Anonymous

    I really like these, they remind me of a diluted Mondrian painting. Love the little pink dress and bright yellow skirt!

  • Anonymous

    Unimpressed by the faux peek-a-boo bra look on the left of row 3, strangely drawn to the 30′s knit swimsuit + sweater look on the right of row 2.  I can’t see the minimalism, as most of these seem to me to have one or more elements that mar – often a belt, sometimes those intentionally scrunched-looking pleats.  You chose the hands down best as the lead in photo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

    3rd row down, the first thing that popped into myh head was “fried eggs”  lol

  • mcarlson

    That last orange dress is fabulous. I love all the colors here.

  • Anonymous

    Hmm. They could have called this collection “Cymbalta: Before and After.”
    The first 2-1/3 rows are heavy, dour, sluggish.
    Then comes the colorful, easy-breezy, resorty stuff.
    It’s odd. But overall, I think the post-seratonin reuptake inhibitor section is charming.

  • Anonymous

    what, no witty remarks on the sunburned nips in the first one, 3rd row?

  • Anonymous

    what, no witty remarks on the sunburned nips in the first one, 3rd row?

  • Anonymous

    I love orange and pink so I like the orange pink one and last two at the end, altho probably without the black detail on the belts. I wish we could see the multi colored sandals from the side, those look awesome. In my head I’d be wearing the long pink one for dinner on deck after a relaxing day on the yacht.  I got a little too much sun and need to cover up a little and the ocean breezes are giving me a little chill.

  • http://xoxotara.wordpress.com Tara Melissa

    I can’t look at the picture above the cut without thinking of Gmail. Oh well. 

  • http://xoxotara.wordpress.com Tara Melissa

    I can’t look at the picture above the cut without thinking of Gmail. Oh well. 

  • Anonymous

    I kinda like the second-to-last outfit as a suit coverup. All of these outfits are just screaming to have a hat on their heads, except for the first three which look more fall to me than resort. Can I have my margarita now? Extra salt on the rim.

  • Anonymous

    After the turquoise and gold kicks in, me like.
    Prior to that, um, no. I love Bottega Veneta but maybe it’s just not what I think of when I think of summer. Those first few looks are way too heavy for resort. And what’s with the pink nipple shirt?
    But I’ll take one of those orange and pink dresses please.

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    The white dress with the red reminds me of the gmail symbol.

  • Anonymous

    Thank god the escaped nipple problem has at last been addressed by the fashion industry.

  • Tangier Bates

    Not a big fan of the clothes, but I WANT ALL OF THE PURSES AND SHOES!!  Everything look great and should definitely be on my feet and arm :)