CW Network’s 2011 Upfront Red Carpet

Posted on May 20, 2011

Someone high up at the CW Network must have sent out a strongly worded directive. The stars all showed up for the network’s 2011 Upfronts at Lincoln Center in New York and none of them look disastrous. That’s statistically unlikely at best, when you have that many d-listers in one room.  Someone cracked the style whip. Of course, bitches that we are, we’ll always find something to criticize. Walk with us.

AnnaLynne McCord in Alice + Olivia

We think it would be cuter if the skirt was mid-length and if she wasn’t intent on showing us the results of her intensive ab work.

Brittany Robertson in Alice + Olivia

We neither love nor hate the dress. It’s fine, although the bodice looks like wallpaper. It’s the gardening shoes that make us shriek.

Brittani Kline

Cute enough. That wouldn’t have been the necklace we would have chosen for her.

She needs to stop the Pilates posing.

Cress Williams

Fine, but the belt is too loose.

Gale Harold

A little sloppy and a little “Wall Street guy at happy hour” but he looks okay.

Ian Somerhalder

When you go all-black, all you are is a shape. That jacket’s not giving him the best shape. And the shoes look cheap.

Jaime King

We’re disinclined to like blue lace and ankle straps, but we actually think she looks kind of cute here.

Jessica Parker Kennedy

It’s fine. A little “dance club” but fine.

Kaylee Defer

That’s not a great color and it’s not a very flattering shape. The shoes are awful. Go home and try something else.

Lyndsy Fonseca

“Executive Wonder Woman.”

Maggie Q

Well done. Maybe a bit too matchy when you get down to the black nails.

Mario Lopez

Looks like he’s at his cousin’s wedding.

Natasha Henstridge

That is not a flattering shape. And her shoes are practically nonexistent, they’re so bland.

Nina Dobrev in Jay Godfrey

Cute dress; Payless shoes.

Paul Wesley

It’s a bit too “organized crime” on him, but he looks good. A colored shirt would have been a better idea.


Rachel Bilson in Chanel Couture

If she’s got to suffer the indignity of ice cream commercials directed by Karl Lagerfeld, at least she’s being smart about it and scoring some couture for an event where no one is wearing couture.

Sarah Michelle Gellar in Rebecca Taylor

This isn’t working for us. She’s got this bland little party dress with a business-like blazer over it. It’s like she did the walk of shame on a workday.

Scott Porter

Cute. Presentable. Wholesome.

Shane West

Oh thank GOD. SOMEONE had the presence of mind to show up looking like a meth addict. Everyone’s so appropriately dressed we feel like we’re giving red carpet commentary for a Christian youth group. We bet everyone talked about him all night. Even then, he looks fairly clean and put together. It’s just in comparison to the Osmond family reunion going on in the rest of the room, he looks like a criminal.

Shenae Grimes

You heard it hear first, ladies. Velvet mini-caftans. With fringe. The next big thing. Be sure to pair them with ugly giant cartoon shoes.

Thomas Dekker

Oh man, if the guylebrities start adopting the knock-knee’d, gotta-pee pose on the RC, that is going to make our job so much more fun.

The boots need to be sent back to Middle Earth pronto.

Tristan Wilds

He looks adorable. We’re not entirely sold on the disco shoes, but we  give him major props for breaking them out for the occasion.

Tyra Banks

Satan’s pants. Send them back to the pit, Tyra. They’re evil.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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  • Anonymous

    The girls look like they are straight out of a Forever 21 fashion show. 

  • Anonymous

    As much as I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the two-toned dye combination in Sharon Michelle Gellar’s hair isn’t helping her case at all. 

    • Anonymous

       Oops – I mean Sarah Michelle!

  • Anonymous

    You forgot to mention that Rachel Bilson is doing “ice cream commercials
    directed by Karl Lagerfeld” and the ice cream is named after an extra
    large condom AND she appears to be fellating said ice cream at the end
    of the ad.

    • Yeah, the ice cream ad  horrifies and amuses me at the same time.  

  • Pingback: » CW Network’s 2011 Upfront Red Carpet Family Guy()

  • scottyf

    T&Lo said about Tristan Wilds…

    “He looks adorable. We’re not entirely sold on the disco shoes…”

    Two words for you guys:  Pra.da. 🙂

  • Man, those aren’t even the most Satan-y pants Tyra has ever worn. Those are practically normal pants for her. I think Maggie Q looks the best, even if it is a little matchy, but otherwise YAWN. AND THOMAS DEKKER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE??

  • Anonymous

     Holy CRAP that is what Thomas Dekker aka Vincent from Sev Hev looks like now?! Insane. 

  • Anonymous

    Brittani Kline  – Wow I did not recognize and wouldn’t have without the name.    Had to laugh that the Top Model has the posing problem (ok one of the posing problems)

    I liked Mario’s outfit

  • MilaXX

    AnnaLynne McCord  – Do any of the sewers remember a few years back the fabric stores used to sell this material that all you had to do was add elastic to make a skirt? Yeah
    Brittany Robertson – dress is cute, shoe are pure fug.Brittani Kline – I actually think the necklace is the most interesting part of the outfit.
    Cress Williams – droopy belt
    Gale Harold – Gosh he looks like he lost weight. He also needs to straighten his tie.Ian Somerhalder – That jacket is awful. It looks like the jacket they give you when you go to a jacket required restaurant.
    Jaime King – I usually hate lace dresses, but this is working for her.Jessica Parker Kennedy – Her skirt reminds me of the beaded skirt Lela Sham made on All on the Line. cute look.
    Kaylee Defer – Horrible. It looks like she belted a bolt of fabric around herself. Also bad makeup job. her legs are 2 shades paler than her face and neck.
    Lyndsy Fonseca – yick. The jacket is out of place and the shoes don’t go with the outfit.
    Maggie Q – I like this outfit and I don’t mind the matchy nails.
    Natasha Henstridge – I like the dress, but she needs better jewelry and a better shoe.Nina Dobrev – I like the look, but she needs a better shoeShane West – Watch out, he will cut you!
    Shenae Grimes – Is she taking fashion tips from Jessica Simpson?Thomas Dekker – Poor thing looks like a puppet someone cut the strings off. Somebody needs to help this kids learn how to pose.
    Tristan Wilds – It’s going to take more than sparkly shoes to get me to dis any The Wire alum.Tyra Banks – Girl, you know better. Go home and try this again.

  • is Shenae Grimes missing an ankle strap?

    • Anonymous

       I saw that too, but I wonder if it’s some horrible anklet…

      •  It looks like she was trying to angle her feet to cover up the other ankle strap. Why? Wouldn’t you want to show the foot that has the ENTIRE shoe on it? 

        • One of her shoes has an ankle strap and the other one doesn’t. She wears that pair quite often actually, but I have no idea why. They’re hideous.

  • Anonymous

    “It’s like she did the walk of shame on a workday”… Isn’t that exactly what Sarah Michelle is doing in the picture? I kid, I will love Buffy forever.

    • I don’t mind her outfit, but I’ll be damned if SMG isn’t stunning.

  •  I want Tristan Wilds to be my new best friend.

  • Judy_J

     Brittany Robertson’s dress looks like bad tan lines on her shoulders.  I have no idea who she is.

  • Anonymous

    Shenae Grimes’ left shoe looks like it’s on the wrong foot.  Awkward shape?

  • Anonymous

    I spit Diet Coke all over my keyboard when reading your comment about Shane West… Hah!

  • Anonymous

     Those aren’t disco shoes, they’re studded in metal spikes! Love it.

  • Anonymous

    I love those disco shoes on Tristan Wilds.  They pick up the stripe in his jacket.  Love the glasses too.  I hope you will soon post a picture of Shenae Grimes in regular clothes.  She looks like a pretty girl, but it’s hard to tell when she’s dressed like that.  Jaime King’s blue lace dress is very pretty but I hate the shoes with it.  I am too old to know who any of these people are, but I trust you that they are actual celebrities.

  •  Are those VELVET PANTS on Paul Wesley? And you gave them a pass?! AAAGHH

    I love miss Ty-Ty! But what is she doing? 

  • That’s the first time I see AnnaLynn McCord in something that’s not too tight, short or tacky. She actually looks cute. The rest of this green carpet is not too bad. Rachel Bilson should fire her whoever’s doing her hair. 

  • Glen Coleson

     I don’t know who any of these people are, barring Tyra and Buffy of course. They certainly aren’t dressing for sucess

  • Anonymous

    I’m quite surprised with Brittini’s bad pose considering she just won America’s Next Top Model. You’d think she’d know better. Everyone here looks incredibly bland.

  • I love Nina’s gray & yellow dress but she needs a shoe with color. Green? Any suggestions? 

    • Shawn Hill

      Yes! A little un-matchy dayglo would have been a more fun choice!

  • margaret meyers

    Tyra’s pants are accomplishing their mission:  make legs look long, make waist look small, make boobs look boobilicious.
    Mission accomplished. 

  • Eh, the usual teeny bopper mediocrity and tackiness (thank you Shane West, for fulfilling the slovenly quotient for the evening), but aside from remarking on how super cute Tristan Wilds is (whoever he may be), I just have to shriek about Jamie King wearing NUDE HOSE. Quelle horreur!

  • Anonymous

    Who are these people? Oh, it’s the CW. Never mind. They’re not important and will be gone in a flash. 

  • Gotta keep my eye on that Tristan Wilds. AWESOME shoes. 

  • Anonymous

    Thomas Dekker looks like a dangling marionette. Very odd.

  • I love ankle straps.  I love Tyra’s pants.  OTOH, if Velveteen Caftans are the wave of the future, I’m glad the world’s ending tomorrow.  ;~D 

  • Anonymous

    that Shenae Grimes person is wearing one very stylin’ gown to her pap smear!

  • Jessica Marcrum

    You had me at “Executive Wonder Woman.”  Love!

  •  i hate Brittani Kline    molly was WAY beTTER

  • Anonymous

    Lisen, if the world’s coming to an end, I want to go out wearing a velvet mini caftan. With fringe.

  • Lisa

     I don’t know who Tristan Wilds is, but he’s the only one in this whole bunch who looks adorable and polished.  The rest of them look cracktastic!

  • I don’t watch CW, so I don’t know who these people are, but Tristan Wilds looks great and is rocking those shoes. Shenae Grimes looks like she pulled a Scarlet O’Hara (I’m dating myself here) with that tapestry drape dress. Ian Somerhalder is beautiful, and I don’t mind TyTy’s look because she’s so TyTy, and the red shoes work.

  • Christina Brennan

    Good god, almost everyone looked like hell.  WTF is up with those heavy panyhose Jaime was wearing?  WTF is that star spangled monstrosity Lyndsy had on?  And I am pretty sure that Shenae Grimes’ outfit is the first sign of the rapture.  

  • Christina Brennan

    Good god, almost everyone looked like hell.  WTF is up with those heavy panyhose Jaime was wearing?  WTF is that star spangled monstrosity Lyndsy had on?  And I am pretty sure that Shenae Grimes’ outfit is the first sign of the rapture.  

  • Anonymous

     I quite like Tyra’s look with Satan’s pants lol. 
    “Executive Wonder Woman.” – #dead

  • Anonymous

     I quite like Tyra’s look with Satan’s pants lol. 
    “Executive Wonder Woman.” – #dead

  • Anonymous

    I’d give best dressed guy to Tristan Wilds – except the shoes are more “interesting” than “best” – and the most interestingly dressed guy is hands down Cress Williams.  So it’s about a three-way tie for best dressed guy, which makes it too dull to discuss.

    Best dressed gal is Rachel Bilson. Can’t really articulate why she nosed out Maggie Q, maybe it’s because couture’s got cut and Q’s dress has got body glove fit. Bilson nosed out Nina Dobrev because her shoes had cute little bows on the back & Dobrev’s didn’t. It was close, I really thought Dobrev’s dress was cute and flattering.

    Most interestingly dressed gal is Shenae Grimes. Not that it’ll be interesting once I’ve seen the mini-caftan on two more people. Face it, the only ones who can get away with mini-caftans are those with nothing to hide and those past the 5th month of pregnancy. And, hate the shoes.

  • Anonymous

    He may look like a meth addict, but I love Shane West’s sweater. Not red carpet appropriate for sure, but I would definitely try to strip it off him and keep it for myself as soon as he collapsed in some corner.

  • Maghan Gilson

     Jaime King looks cute, but so not age appropriate. She should give that outfit (white tights are a no-no after you turn six, but hey, at least she’s wearing some) with one of the other little blonde tween clones.

  • APB

    Why are all of the girls so malnourished? Eat a farking cookie!

    Also, Shane West looks like he’s been trying to sell pot behind a skating rink. IDK how he managed to pull off douchebag and pedophile in the same look, but he did.

  •  Aww, Tyra misses Larry King so much, she dressed like him for the upfronts. How sweet.

  • Anonymous

    kind of loving kings blue lace dress. also, dobrevs gray-yellow combo is very cute.

    Q looks decent here, but i think she should look better. shes a woman of such beauty and fierceness. she used to be a model, too, right?

    dekkers pose is weird as hell, but i kinda love the shoes.

    gellar looks terrible. although im probably not being fair, given that i had last payed attention to her in her buffy days. that was 10 years ago. still, this comes as a bit of a shock.

  • frankystein123

    Maggie Q, classy club hostess.