And thus does RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars end, not with a bang or a whimper, but more of a limping across the finish line. We’re not entirely sure why the gas went completely out of this one. It’s possible the bracket format prevented the kind of season-long grudges and alliances that would have made the finale more exciting.
Several times during this episode, various queens noted that most of the other queens aren’t aware of their capabilities and that’s the kind of limitation that tends to make finale showdowns a little less exciting, we think. Without that sense of “We all made it through the fire together” that finales usually have, everything felt a little wary.
We admit to being pleasantly surprised that Kerri Colby was the returning queen. Not to defend the show from charges of riggory, but if the producers were committed to drama and shenanigans, they would have ensured that Mistress returned. Unfortunately, Kerri made for one off the least interesting choices for the judges to make. She’s fierce, but we’d never have considered her a major competitor.
They brought back Rate-A-Queen to “determine the order” of the lip syncs, but as Bosco pointed out in a sound bite that the producers forgot to edit out, no one has any idea how these ratings are applied so it all felt like a time-waster. In fact, most of this episode was turned over to wasting time, which is another reason why it felt so limp and anticlimactic.
Bruno. No other caption or explanation is needed here.
The selections.
Kerri and Ginger faced off to Lady Gaga’s “Disease” because they had been placed in the bottom and the top, respectively. We haven’t really paid attention to the fan response to this episode, but if people think Ginger was unfairly elevated, we suppose this matchup gave them evidence for their theory. The thing is, while Ginger wasn’t particularly well-suited to the song and her costume worked against her during the number, we can’t say that Kerri slayed the house down with her efforts either. Neither of them were well-suited to the song. This whole smackdown tended to come down to song suitability more than lip syncing ability in most of the matchups.
Lydia and Irene faced off in what was probably the most well-matched smackdown of the night. The song was Kesha’s “Joy Ride” and while both of them had the moves and the attitude for the song, we feel like Lydia’s look – which was one of her best of the season – helped sell the bratty vibe of the song better.
Jorgeous and Aja faced off to Natalie Cole’s “Party Lights” (because you’ve always got to include one of Ru’s prom songs in this thing) and again, while both queens were giving it their all, Jorgeous was simply much more tuned into the song’s joyous, dance-focused vibe. The costumes were cute, but we thought Aja’s nun drag was a mistake. It took too long to come off and it was too obvious that it was meant to come off. The reveal underneath wasn’t worth the effort.
Bosco and Daya faced off with Christina Aguilera’s “Show Me How Your Burlesque.” The two Judies were very tearful about facing off against each other and Bosco felt a little bad about choosing a song that seemed tailor-made for her, but the thing is, it’s not all that great a number for a burlesque act. We have no doubt Bosco’s performed it plenty of times and we won’t suggest she didn’t kill this lip sync, but Daya held her own and we didn’t think the final call was necessarily all that obvious.
Ginger and Bosco faced off to Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” and we’re afraid it was all over as soon as they announced the song. Bosco really is one of the most talented and charismatic queens in Drag Race herstory, but the problem with being a burlesque queen on Drag Race is that the show is not going to give you all that many opportunities to ply your trade the way it should be. She gave if her all, but fist-pump anthems just aren’t where her talents lie.
Lydia and Jorgeous faced off to Shakira’s “Whenever, Wherever” and again, it was pretty much over once the song was announced. Lydia’s really come into her own this season and proven that she can handle way more than people thought she could, but expecting her to go up against Jorgeous with a Shakira song is almost laughable.
And finally, not to sound like a broken record, the fix was in for Ginger the second they announced that she would be going up against Jorgeous to “It’s Raining Men.” Much like LatinX queens and Shakira, you simply cannot expect a tiny little spitfire to slay this song when she’s facing off against a big girl. Granted, Ginger’s not so big anymore, but you’ve gotta have that fat girl energy to really make this song work and while Jorgeous is a very talented girl, the bitch has absolutely no idea how a fat girl thinks or moves.
Yes, there were shenanigans galore and yes, this finale was kind of low-energy and disappointing, but Ginger is among the most talented queens in Drag Race herstory and while there was a decent argument for giving the win to Bosco or Jorgeous, we just can’t get all that mad that a very talented, highly professional queen won the crown.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Photo Credit: Paramount Plus via Tom and Lorenzo]
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