Ali Wong on Dating Post-Divorce, Blended Family, Motherhood & More for INSTYLE NOW Magazine

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The barrier-breaking comedian Ali Wong stars on the latest cover of InStyle Now, where she opens up about dating post-divorce, motherhood, aging, and her next chapter ahead of her fourth Netflix standup special, Ali Wong: Single Lady out today. She also discusses her unique family dynamic with boyfriend Bill Hader, ex-husband Justin Hakuta, and two daughters as they all navigate life on tour together. 

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On her ‘non-traditional’ version of motherhood and how her ex-husband plays a role in that:  “For me, motherhood was definitely not an end. It was this expansive beginning to so many new chapters. I have them to be grateful for that, too.”

“It’s mostly because of her and the father of my children that I’ve been able to do everything I do, but it’s also because of her that I sometimes struggle with being ‘non-traditional,’” Wong says. She is open about having help, how it’s money that makes it all possible (“I was so fortunate that by the time I was going on tour, like, my first big tour, I had the means to pay for my kids to come with me”).

On the sweet family moment with her kids, boyfriend, and ex-husband seeing her striped dress from Baby Cobra in The Smithsonian:

“The last time I saw that dress live was last summer when it was on display at the Smithsonian. And my daughters came with me there, and Bill [Hader] happened to be visiting me, and my ex-husband was with me, too. And it was really, really nice. And my daughter Mari, like, pointed to my stomach [in the display]. She’s like, that’s me. She and my other daughter do take a lot of pride in the fact that they were onstage with me. It’s very sweet.”

On dating and aging: “You just have to shut out all the noise and look at the reality of what’s going on. You know yourself. And this idea that men aren’t attracted to women their age, that’s just not true. Especially men in their 40s, they want to be with a grown up. They want to be with a woman who knows herself. They find that hot. They don’t care if you have a belly or loose skin. It’s women who care more and project that onto ourselves because of all the targeting, and all of these people profiting off of us wanting to fix ourselves.”

On advice she’s received from other famous working moms: “I met Lauryn Hill a couple of years ago, and talked to her about touring with children, and she talked to me about how she brought her mother everywhere with her, too,” Wong says. “In [2005’s] Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, after she performs, there’s a part when the audience asks her where she’so been, and she points at her baby in the background and says ‘that’s where I’ve been.’ I think it’s her mother carrying the baby.”

On working with fellow Asian-American artists, particularly the cast of Beef: “One of the cool things about having an all Asian-American cast is that everybody gets to be a person,” she tells me. “It’s not like ‘you’re the Asian person.’ You’re a person. You’re the toxically positive house husband who does bad art and bikes a lot. You’re the overbearing quirky artist mother-in-law. You’re the down-and-out contractor.”

On the future rom-com that she wants to direct: “It’s funny because I don’t love watching romantic comedies, because it’s hard for them to be good. But when they’re good, they’re great,” she tells me. “But I think I’m just a very romantic person, too. I just love love stories, from people telling me them anecdotally to reading about them or projecting my own stories onto [people] I’ve never met.”

[Photo Credit: Jeremy Choh/InStyle Magazine]

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