Colman Domingo on Almost Quitting Acting, Meeting His Husband on Craigslist, and More for INSTYLE Magazine

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For more than 30 years, Colman Domingo has been clawing his way to get to where he is today, to have a life that makes having it all—a loving partner, professional success, and a killer wardrobe—seem easy. In an exclusive interview with INSTYLE, the star gives a glimpse into his personal life, opening up about the meet-cute moment that came 20 years before his big break, when he and his now husband met on Craigslist and how his sense of style and hustle came from his mother Edith. On the professional side, Domingo reveals that he almost quit acting while getting paid less than what he was worth in the early days and sets the record straight about the type of actor he wants to be moving forward.

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On considering quitting acting and getting paid less than what he was worth: “Sometimes you may need to take a 9-to-5 job, and that doesn’t mean you’re not an artist. That means you’re being smart, and it means you have to take care of your overhead. You have to take care of your family. It doesn’t mean you’re not an artist, though—you still have to make some time for your art and creativity in a different way.”

“I’ve always been attached to the work, and the work didn’t have to be on main stages, it didn’t have to be on big platforms. I have always been a journeyman actor and always accepted that my life as an artist—whether I was bartending or not, whether I was on stage or not, small roles in television, getting paid less than I’m worth, all that—at some point, these were building blocks. I stayed in it because I believed I had something to say,” Domingo says. “There were times where I just had to course-correct and find the right advocates for me. I started to understand, ‘Oh, I didn’t have the right people in place that would actually help me expand and get to the places I need to get to. That’s where my career changed.”

On what’s next–everything from drama to comedy: “This year has provided great amplification for me, great access, and with that, I’m trying to make sure that I’m as specific as possible about the work that I really want to do,” he says. “I played the most iconic civil rights hero on the planet, so if someone’s going to send me something about a civil rights hero, it’s got to be very different. For me, it’s about continuing to expand and be drawn to things that I am very curious about, things that will push and challenge me as an actor, not a version of something I’ve done before.”

“And I’ll just say this, as well, I want to make sure it’s clear: It’s not that I’m not interested in work about slavery, a new perspective about it. Yes, fine. Or a perspective about queer culture in some way, yes. But if that’s the only thing people can see me as, and I’ve already made a full career of seeing myself differently, that’s strange to me. It’s like, if you send my production company something about some white woman in Iowa trying to work out something with her husband and she wants to travel the world with a circus. Why wouldn’t you think I’d be interested in that? I’d be interested in telling that story as a producer or a director!”

“I’ve been trying to cultivate a very easy, yet detailed, mindful life in every single way. I think what I pour and the way I deal with myself as a human being should also be the way people see me.”

On learning his iconic sense of style from his mother: “[his mom and stepfather] would go out and they looked fire. They just looked sexy and playful and fun, and they would always make sure we were together, too. My mother always had a sense of style for us,” Domingo says, referring to his three siblings. “Even if you don’t have a lot of money, you can be clean, you can be detailed, you can have tailoring and you can have a sense of putting yourself together. That was your wealth. That was the way people perceived you. We were always very concerned about that.”

On his fashion POV: “The story has always been effortlessly elegant and luxurious and playful, all at the same time,” Domingo says of the messages he aims to convey through clothing. “I like to show that that’s my personality, that I’m not taking everything so seriously, but I do have a sense of polish and style because that shows how I am as a person, that I show up exactly on time. I learned very early on to have a watch on—it’s a subtle indicator you’re concerned about time.”

[Photo Credit: Raul Romo for InStyle Magazine]

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