Time to wrap our coverage of the 2023 VMAs up, wouldn’t you say? It was tacky, it was perhaps a little stale, but we are nonetheless grateful to all of these stars for their attention-seeking ways, which provided us with much content after weeks in the desert. Now we will judge them.
Ashanti in Monica Ivena
Look, she has boob turtles. We are powerless to do anything but applaud that.
Bebe Rexha in The Uncommonist
This is practically understated for her. That’s a lot of leather for Newark in August, but she looks good. The earrings are fun.
Chloe Bailey in Roberto Cavalli
Can’t say we’re in love with the textile, but the colors look great on her. The design feels both fussy and unresolved at the same time.
Demi Lovato in Buerlangma
Demi, this is a lot.
Doja Cat in Monse
It’s a sexy Party City Halloween costume.
Dove Cameron in Coach
Don’t like the bib bodice or the nearly nonexistent string straps, but she looks great in a sparkly black.
Emily Ratajkowski in Jaen Paul Gaultier
She’s doing a weird pose wearing a weird design that utilizes one of the ugliest prints we’ve ever seen.
Ice Spice in Dolce & Gabbana
This feels like more of a Britney tribute than a Madonna one. She looks pretty cute.
Jimbo in Christian Cowan
Our favorite drag clown looks pretty amazing.
Karol G in Ashi Studio
So many evaporating dresses this year. As we keep saying, it’s not worth getting annoyed at sheer dresses at the VMAs, but we reserve the right to get pissy about the boring ones. This looks like it was made out of dryer lint.
Kelsea Ballerini in Mônot
Can’t really argue with that.
Måneskin in Rick Owens
They never fail to show up looking Rock God spectacular, every one of them.
Nelly Furtado in Dundas
Can’t argue with that.
Offset
He looks great. We might quibble with the cropped jacket/skinny tie/sleeve length/pant cut/belt proportions, but they combine to make a unique spin on an otherwise standard look.
Reneé Rapp
It looks like she wrapped herself in a blanket.
Rita Ora in Rodarte
This looks like it’s probably fun but it’s terribly unphotogenic unless you’ve got a white background.
Sabrina Carpenter in Vera Wang
It’s a weird design that’s trying to do too much, but we’re hung up on the gold shoes and the silver bodice. We’re not usually sticklers about matching metallics, but we feel like they probably should in this case.
Sasha Colby in Roberto Cavalli
Serving body and keeping it low-key. It says something when the drag queens are wearing some of the more restrained looks at the VMAs.
Saweetie in Area Couture
A sentence we never thought we’d type: We like it except for the bones.
Shakira in Atelier Versace
This is the perfect dress for her; sexy, shimmery, hip-focused. She looks fantastic.
Stray Kids
Nicely done, gentlemen.
Tiffany Haddish in Jason Wu
In a different week, we might’ve called this interesting or even hot, but we’re kinda played out on the see-through frocks at the moment.
Tinashe in Stella McCartney
Bleh. Whatever. We have no problem at all if anyone wants to do a nip or coochie flash in the right setting, so long as the fashion is interesting, at least. You couldn’t find a more boring design than this one. Sexy should be exciting, not yawn-inducing.
[Photo Credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images for MTV, Johnny Nunez/Getty Images for MTV, Noam Galai/Getty Images for MTV, Eugene Gologursky/Getty Images for MTV]
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