Mindy Kaling Covers MARIE CLAIRE’s ‘The Wellness’ Issue

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In the piece she opens up about being a mother, mentor, and mogul while also being the defining voice of first-generation Asian Americans. She has led the charge for a generation of brown girls to boldly go where no brown girl has gone before: a place of comfortability speaking up and out about topics—mental health, grief, depression, sex, dating, longing, desire—that remain taboo in Asian American culture.

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On finally being content: “After being so unhappy in my teenage years and in my 20s…I feel so content now. I am so happy with my career. I love my family. I love my freedom—I have the freedom that comes with being financially stable, and I don’t have to run anything by anybody.…I love going to set and watching these actors saying my words and coming up to me and asking my take on things…It’s beyond the wildest dreams that my late-mother could have hoped for me.”

On safeguarding her kids’ privacy, giving them a chance to learn and tell their own stories in their own time: “I want them to be old enough to talk to me about it and [tell me] how they want me to talk about it,” she says. “I’m the only parent my kids have…I think I err on the side of super cautious so that there’s less things that they can potentially be mad at me about down the line.”

On becoming a mom in her late-thirties: “I waited until I had the means and that made all the difference.” She pointedly addresses the privilege in her statement, noting the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade. “The choice to have a child—by yourself, on your own terms—it was the best part of my life…It’s the thing that I hope women feel confident doing by themselves.”

On one piece of advice for all women: “I wish every 19-year-old girl would come home from college and that the gift—instead of buying them jewelry or a vacation or whatever—is that their parents would take them to freeze their eggs…They could do that once and have all these eggs for them, for their futures…to focus in your twenties and thirties on your career, and yes, love, but to know that when you’re emotionally ready, and, if you don’t have a partner, you can still have children.”

On starting therapy after her mother passed: “Ultimately, it’s about efficiency. I think you can get things done more if you’re able to talk to the right people about the things going on in your life,” she says. “I remember thinking, This is extremely helpful, but this would have even been helpful when I was younger, when I had issues…Life is so hard. And I don’t think you should just have to depend on friends and family to get you through those things.”

On her passion for running and how it helps her mental health: “I’m always so self-conscious talking about how much I love running because I don’t look like someone who’s athletic or anything. But it has really helped me..It just focuses me and makes me a better writer. I think I’m a friendlier person, a more patient mom.”

How not being on camera has been a significant factor in fueling her wellbeing: “The amount of articles that were like, ‘It’s so good for a culture that this unattractive woman is finally on camera.’ I didn’t know I was so unattractive until I was the star of my own show. So not having to see those things, that’s wonderful.”

On creating a potential comedy inspired by her own life: a single mom in her 40s, trying to find love: “Culture largely says, ‘We don’t wanna hear about you. Your entire deal bums everyone out.’ If you’re a 42-year-old [single] woman with kids, it makes people sad… I’m like, ‘There is hope for us. There could be great stories about women, like me, finding love, finding happiness…’ I can’t imagine anyone besides me would write it, so I have to find the time to do that.”

[Photo Credit: Kanya Iwana for Marie Claire Magazine]

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• Mindy Kaling