A salute to the stars doing their best to keep us all entertained. They’re trying, darlings. And that’s what matters. Haha, just kidding. We haven’t totally given up on being bitches.
First up, a timely and important message from The Doctor (by way of Jodie Whittaker):
— Doctor Who on BBC America (@DoctorWho_BBCA) March 25, 2020
What makes this so incredibly sweet and touching is how she never breaks character or flubs the lines that were written for her. Despite the shaky camera and bad lighting, it’s as engaging and emotional as any hour-long episode of the show. Well done to all involved. It made us a little teary-eyed; we won’t lie.
Next, Chrissy Teigen goes on an epic journey to procure some Romaine:
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 25, 2020
A tale of triumph over adversity in these troubling times. And as always, the gays came to the rescue.
In other news, Lena Dunham is writing a serialized romance novel for Vogue, entitled Verified Strangers. No, really.
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN pasta and dessert, Ally decided she was done with dating.
The first half of the evening hadn’t been so bad. He had the kind of slick blankness that allowed Ally to project an entire inner life onto him, like she was writing backstory for a minor character in her favorite TV series. When he stuttered when asking her about what she did for a living, it was because he was nervous, not bored. When he stared at the couple behind them, he was imagining their future — definitely not checking out the girl in the mini-dress made of that sheer black fabric popularized by yoga pants. And when he swatted her arm with the menu for no particular reason, it was because he found her very presence almost painfully adorable.
Everything started to get a little clearer when, three bites into her mushroom ragu, Ally’s date poked at it with his fork and asked, “You into this?”
“Yeah, I like it” she replied, adjusting her too-tight baby-pink blouse over her tummy.
“K, cuz you’re kinda scrunching your face up like it tastes shitty.”
That wasn’t the worst offense. Neither was his third story about a “totally psychotic” ex-girlfriend. “You’re not psychotic, are you?”
Not all heroes throw shields: Chris Evans demonstrated his allyship with the gays and his brotherly love by making sure his bro Scott had an even buzzcut:
— Scott Evans (@thescottevans) March 24, 2020
Yes, that’s strangely erotic in a way. But that’s true of everything Chris Evans does.
Richard E. Grant has evidently made a pillow fort from which he’s reading lines from Withnail and I:
An apt Bruce Robinson ‘WITHNAIL’ quote for the first day of total CoronaLaockDown in the UK. pic.twitter.com/MT5AyAylgX
— Richard E. Grant (@RichardEGrant) March 24, 2020
Patti Lupone is giving tours of her admittedly fabulous basement:
I heard somebody wanted to see more of my basement. 😘 pic.twitter.com/fBea7emR6h
— Patti LuPone (@PattiLuPone) March 23, 2020
If you’ve been missing out on the epic dance parties D-Nice has been throwing on Instagram, you’re in luck: He’s teaming up with none other than Michelle Obama to throw a couch party today, starting at 6:30 pm, eastern:
View this post on Instagram
Ready for another party? Excited to team up with @MichelleObama’s @WhenWeAllVote this Wed. Starting at 6:30pm ET on IG Live to play a set while volunteers across the country text eligible voters to help them register to vote. You can sign up to help too: weall.vote/couchparty
Go to his Instagram after 6:30 pm and click on his profile picture when it indicates he’s live. You won’t regret it. Dance in your living room, darlings!