Precious Unborn Fawns, let us take a gentler approach this Friday; a more – Dare we say it?- civilized way of doing things. Normally, we scream and yell our impressions of each outfit, like dreadfully common people who no doubt urinate in public. Today, we will do this like the refined and frightfully elegant men you know us to be.
Oh, wait. Joan Rivers died. Fuck that. Let’s all be nasty bitches together. For Joan, dammit. She invented this whole gig.
The jacket’s from the Krystle Carrington Kollection at Sears. The shoes are from the mind of a psychopath.
This is just a little too “tea party” for our tastes. Skirt’s too full and the shoes are doing really weird things to her feet against that black carpet.
Miss Juliette Lewis kindly invites you to eat it, bitches, because she’s still got it and she’s taking it out for some air tonight.
And by “air,” we mean “penis.”
Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera
Renee Zellweger attends the 2014 Couture Council Award Luncheon Benefit for the Museum at FIT honoring Carolina Herrera at the David H. Koch Theater in New York City.
Renee’s inner posing monologue:
“That’s right. I’m SEVERE. My feet could puncture a lung. My waist is so tiny I can put my hands on my hips and clap at the same time. My cheekbones are pointing towards heaven. I am sporting no less than THREE different hairstyles at once. I am a goddess! Ascending! Look at you! You’re ants! FAT ants! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh. We’re done?”
Girl, that is not only NOT your color, that is pretty much not any pale white girl’s color. Let Freida, Mindy, Lupita, Viola, or Rosario have that one. Let’s get you in a jewel tone, mkay?
Other than that, they both look great.
“Yeah, that’s right. This is what I’m wearing. I got shit to do later, all right? Spy shit.”
We tried a million different ways of dancing around this one, but we’re just gonna say it: While any lady can do anything she wants when it comes to her style choices, if we were asked for advice on the matter, we would gently suggest that a 73-year-old woman should probably avoid going bare-legged in a mini-skirt. At least if pictures are being taken.
*runs quickly away*
Cute. Needed some contrasting colors in the accessories.
Surprisingly underwhelming. She usually BRINGS IT to the red carpet, especially at film festivals.
Because it’s Friday.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images, INFphoto.com]