RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 1 Episode 4

Posted on March 01, 2009

Darlings, we made it! We know you all feared that we had abandoned the most glamorous reality competition in the history of ever, but real-world crap was keeping the man down this week and we couldn’t seem to find the time. Well dammit, we’re gonna MAKE the time!

Kittens, there is nothing, and we mean NOTHING more horrifying to a drag queen than a room with no mirrors. This almost qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.

And forcing a drag queen to sit still while another drag queen does their makeup?

Well that’s just tragic.

Portrait of a drag queen who is DYING INSIDE.

Is it us, or does she look a little like Wilona from Good Times?

Which is appropriate, because…

Florida Evans was sitting 2 feet away from her.

Anyway, we loved the VIVA GLAM challenge. Probably the best challenge so far because the stakes were high and the challenge was totally drag-appropriate. Let’s go to the tape, shall we?

Y’know, Nina has not been getting the love from us and we need to rectify that.

First off, her makeup skills are off the charts. In fact, she just may have the best skills in the group.

Secondly, she’s loaded with charm and she’s got a great look. A look that DEMANDS you pay attention to her when she walks into a room – and isn’t that what a drag queen is all about?

Ugh. THIS one.

Can someone please explain why everyone (including herself – ESPECIALLY herself) keep referring to her so-called “beauty?” She’s big and mannish, she has no grace or poise, and her makeup skills are horrible.

And we hate to be cynical types over something as serious as HIV, but this was pure play-acting. You have a friend with HIV? The line forms over on the right, honey. You’ll note that there’s little weeping going on.

As for Jade, the girl’s got potential, but she’s so dark and humorless. There’s no real sense of LIFE in all-caps with her. She’s just dour and over-sensitive and it comes across in everything she does.

She does make a cute boy, though.


Darlings, THAT is what it’s all about!

That bitch is so fucking fabulous it hurts.

We haven’t been sending the love Ongina’s way either, but that may have been because we had a hard time getting a handle on her character.

This episode made us believers. Not because of her revelation later in the show, but because she KILLED during her audition. Loaded with life, and glamour and a sense of fun. That’s what it’s about.

Ugh. Another one we just don’t get. She’s so frigging SERIOUS and DETERMINED about everything.

And she is – by far – the one with the most potential in the looks department, but she constantly dowdy’s herself down.Santino (and can we just say we’re loving him as a judge? Go figure.) nailed it when he called her “Sally Jessy Raphael.”

Let’s hit the runway, bitches!

Not a bad look, but again, CRACK A FUCKING SMILE, BITCH.

We were, like the judges, speechless when BeBe walked out.

FUCKING FABULOUS. We really want her to win this, but we have to admit, she’s already got what it takes to be a drag superstar. The word “fierce” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it.

Oh, please. When Tom was a teenager he worked in a deli with a tiny little Italian woman (all of 4 foot nine) named Peggy. When things got high-strung, or stupid, or just plain annoying, she’d wave her hands around and say only, “I can’t. I can’t.” as she walked away.

We can’t.


This is the part when we just don’t get Ongina. We get the clothes for the most part (although we rarely love them), but then she marches around the runway in this bizarre pseudo-militaristic stomp that just comes across weird from a tiny little drag queen.

We thought it was odd that the judges criticized Nina for not looking female enough. Ru of all people should know there are a range of drag styles out there and Nina’s genderfuck style is entirely appropriate. They don’t all have to fool you into thinking they’re women. Plus, she looked damn good.

Tacky, tacky, tacky. We’ll give her points for the juggling, but it smelled like desperation.

For us, it was a tossup between BeBe and Ongina for the win but when Ongina broke down and revealed she had HIV, it was clear that the judges absolutely made the right choice.

And it made Rebecca’s little weepfest look like the ridiculous ploy that it was.

Congrats, Ongina! You’re fabulous and beautiful and we have a feeling you made a LOT of fans with this episode.

Once again, it was a tossup as to who should sashay away, but we think the judges made the right choice. Rebecca is a pain in the ass and she thinks too highly of herself, but we think she’s got more potential than Jade here, who really needs to work on her stage persona because she doesn’t come across like someone anyone would want to spend time watching.

[Screencaps: – Photos: RuPaul’]

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