Who Wore it Worst? Tyra Banks v. Kim Kardashian

Posted on August 21, 2014

Darlings, it’s a Battle for the Ages! A showdown completely devoid of taste, class or style! Two TITANS OF TACKY are facing off on the red carpet in a FUCKED-UP JUMPSUIT CAGE MATCH! It doesn’t matter who wins, because either way, humanity itself loses!

And T Lo would give ANYTHING for a decent Tilda Swinton picture right now! Where have you gone, Lupita Nyong’o? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you!

 

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God almighty, these bitches are heinous.

 

 

Tyra-Banks-Kim-Kardashian-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Battle-Jumpsuits-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Tyra Banks attends America’s Next Top Model Cycle 21 premiere party in Los Angeles, California in a custom Alon Livné jumpsuit.

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This woman fancies herself some sort of guru to fashion models. She can’t even put her hands on her hips and face a camera without pulling some totally goofy-ass facial expression that makes her look insane, constipated, or like someone just slapped her ass. Let’s face it: the zenith of her modeling career involved macrame bikinis and baby oil.

As for the jumpsuit, she looks like she was attacked by a gay white shark.

 

Please step into the next tent as our freak show continues!

Tyra-Banks-Kim-Kardashian-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-Battle-Jumpsuits-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)Kim Kardashian attends Cassandra Huysentruyt Grey’s Artist In Residence Donald Robertson event in Los Angeles, California in a Yiqing Yin jumpsuit from the Spring 2014 collection.

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We don’t even know what to say. Is that … nipple makeup? Is she actually wearing a jumpsuit that makes a woman’s entire midsection look like a slowly deflating balloon? And speaking of balloons, how did she get her tits to do that with no visible support? Why does the bust (such as it is) look like it was made out of strips of ripped fabric?  Why, God? Why is this happening?

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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