At first we were going to make all kinds of jokes here, but then we read that she’s out for pizza with her kids, so we’ll keep it constructive and simple.
It’s like this, Mariah:
The hat and the shoes need to go. It’s like you aged 15 years in 30 seconds.
Let’s not pretend like you wore the hat to obscure your identity, since anyone would naturally notice you walking down the street in an outfit like this. The jingling of your jewelry alone announces your presence with every step, dear. Like Tinker Bell.
We’re not opposed to the hat on principle, but when you pair such a beat-up version of it with this dress and a ton of jewelry, it doesn’t look, shall we say, fresh. Similarly, the shoes are all “hooker in the back, nursing home beauty pageant” in the front. There. We said it. Somebody had to.
It’s not the most flattering dress for her, but it is cute, and if she just put on a sassy pair of low-heeled sandals, took off half the jewelry and saved the hat for the next beach day, this could work as a believable and appropriate “taking my kids for pizza” outfit.
[Photo Credit: Zelig Shaul/ACE/INFphoto.com, net-a-porter.com, farfetch.com]