Jennifer Lopez in Solace London on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon”

Posted on June 17, 2014

Wow. This is deeply upsetting to us. We’re about to utter two words every diva fears hearing. Two words that are going to send Jenny into a mascara-tracks-down-her-cheeks, vase-throwing rage. Jenny’s team of handlers? Lock your doors. It’s about to get ugly, because those two words are…

Jennifer-Lopez-TTSSJF-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jennifer Lopez makes an appearance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” show in New York City in a Solace London white dress accessorized with Christian Louboutin heels and EFFY Jewelry bracelet and ring.

Jennifer-Lopez-TTSSJF-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Jennifer-Lopez-TTSSJF-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jennifer-Lopez-TTSSJF-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jennifer-Lopez-TTSSJF-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (5)

HOT MESS.

She looks like she spent the entire day poolside and 15 minutes ago realized she had to be at the Tonight Show studios, so she slapped on a dress (without even wiping off the baby oil she’d slathered herself in) and got in a limo, where she proceeded to do her makeup and pin up her chlorine-soaked hair while riding over every pothole in L.A.

Or she just gave up. Either way, this is tragic. Go home, Jenny. You’re drunk.

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: NBC]

    • RussellH88

      What the hell is this? Her hair is a mess and the dress looks the same in the front and the back.

      This is offending my delicate sensibilities.

      • kimmeister

        Except for the back has a little horizontal strap to keep it from falling off her shoulders.

        • kim bunchalastnames

          first, every time i see your screen name, i think you’re me. lol. second, j lo has reached the “for her age” stage. she looks good … for her age. that hair’s too jbf … for her age. she’s trying too hard … for her age.

    • @Biting Panda

      Oh Jenny. We can feel like this on the inside, but Darling, never show it on the outside. Especially not on National TV.

      • Violentcello

        That’s my motto. “Especially not on National TV.”

        • Kent Roby

          And vodka!

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        Perfect comment.

    • queeniethebold

      Yiiiiiiiiiikes! Those shiny-shiny legs are squicking me out, big time.

      • MoHub

        I thought she was wearing shiny pantyhose at first, but then I realized she was barelegged with some kind of grease shmeared on.

        • MarissaLG

          If 30 Rock has taught us anything (and of course it has), it’s Italian dressing.

          • MoHub

            Not mayonnaise?

        • DebbieLovesShoes

          It’s so nasty

      • sk8tfan

        All I can think about is how they’re going to have to recover that chair.

        • DebbieLovesShoes

          Excellent point

      • Glam Dixie

        I was trying to figure out how her legs are staying crossed. Why doesn’t the top leg just keep sliding off? What is this sorcery?

        • Little_Olive

          I myself was wandering 1) how is it that the dress is clean and 2) how is she carrying those shoes. Because I bet that oil is hella runny.
          Or maybe it’s some sort of shiny silicone?

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        My new word is “squicking”. TY!

    • Carrie

      Her legs are so shiny! She looks like she’s literally made of plastic. So awful.

    • alyce1213

      I wonder if she left grease stains on the chair. They should have put down a giant antimacassar.

      • @Biting Panda

        What a smile!!! Why does she insist on the “I smell onions” face, more often than not?

      • cowper

        Bonus points for using “antimacassar” in a sentence!

    • RescueMe23

      You would think that white would be a great color for her? Not so much. She should’ve worn her “tight pants” look instead…

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      The levels of wrong here cannot be described in our human words..

      We might have to use interpretative dance with a whale song accompaniment.. :)

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Sad Shamu music playing as the dancers waft mournfully around the set.

        • decormaven

          Something somber choreographed by Mary Wigman.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        As an aside, Judy Collins long ago did a lovely version of a folk song, “Farewell to Tarwathie” about a young man going to sea on a whaling ship and it incorporated whale sounds-very ethereal

    • MilaXX

      That hair is horrible. Is that the same dress Michelle Dockery was shown in yesterday?

      • Introspective

        i thought the exact same thing! jenny’s girls sit up a little higher, but lady mary brought a little more class to the overall look though.

      • FibonacciSequins

        It’s close, but the neckline on Michelle’s dress is more of a low scoop, not a V like JLo’s. I think there some seaming differences too. It could be the exact same fabric.

        • kimmeister

          Yeah, Michelle’s has bust darts, and JLo’s has a vertical seam right at the bottom of the V.

        • demidaemon

          Yeah, the neckline here is more like the following illustration: __/. I had to use symbols because words are failing me the longer I think about this look.

      • Wink

        I thought so, too!

    • Introspective

      jenny looks rode hard and put away wet here. but girl i guess.

    • miscorrections

      WHAT in synthetic hell is on her head? Even Adore would reject it.

    • Counterpoint

      I think that was a deliberate attempt at youthful and nonchalant. Emergency PR campaign at work, because, you see, there is nothing fake about JLO… or her relationships.

      • juniper

        I don’t understand. Don’t people know by now that if you force youthful nonchalance it comes off trailer trashy? did something happen in la la land with JLO?

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        Yes, nothing says youthful nonchalance like a very deep V neck with the girls on full alert. Oh my stars, Jennifer, you’ll be dressing like this when you’re 60, I suppose….

    • Anna

      Not so much Glow by JLo and more oil slick.

      Her hair…this was…on purpose???

    • Sarah

      My hair looks exactly like that right this second. I’m in a cubicle at the public library, though, not on the Tonight Show. However, I am so overdue for a deep conditioning treatment.

      • Introspective

        and apparently so is she.

    • KateMaryC

      In her defense, it HAS been humid on the east coast. My hair and legs look roughly like hers after walking to the office.

      • kimmeister

        But do your shins sweat profusely while your face and chest remain perfectly dry and matte? That’s what looks weird here.

    • sugarkane105

      Someone get a towel and wipe that bitch down!

    • Jessica Freeman

      Wash her down with some Dawn. There’s been an oil spill.

      • Twigg

        We can give her one of those cute sweaters after!

      • Glam Dixie

        Maybe they will put tiny pictures of JLo on the bottles in the store with slogans about how they helped save the JLo and return it to it’s natural state.

    • ashtangajunkie

      If you listen closely, you can hear the weeping of the person who was fired as soon as this aired.

    • FibonacciSequins

      I watched this last night, and don’t remember her hair looking that messy. I think I was distracted by her breasts. That neckline that needs to DIAF already.

      • demidaemon

        I am amazed that anything could distract from that hair or those legs. Her breasts must look amazing in HD.

    • nannypoo

      Ugh. But let’s talk about Jimmy Fallon. I think he’s adorable.

      • Jessica Freeman

        He is the cutest.

      • Thomas

        Not as cute as Seth Myers!

      • Targettaste

        And he has so much fun dancing!

    • YoungSally

      Wasn’t she just on like a week ago? Fallon, are you running out of guests already?

    • shirab

      Is this the dress Lady Mary was wearing the other day? The neckline, or neck/sternum line, looks familiar.

    • Mary Elizabeth Poytinger Baume

      my too words were : LOOKS DESPERATE

    • LadyVimes

      Oh, honey. Ohhhhh, honey.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I’m speechless.

    • unbornfawn

      Reminds me of an older Raquel Welch.

      • ecallaw1977

        Ouch.

    • GorgeousThings

      I am so sick of her tits.

    • frannyprof

      Why is she so shiny?

    • teensmom99

      I’

    • muelonil

      Even acknowledging all of the stated issues and her boobs hanging out, she still looks classier than I’ve seen her in awhile.

    • Jennifer Bober

      I want to dunk her head in a hot oil treatment. Wow, that hair is scary and it doesn’t get better as you move down.

      • GillianHolroyd

        Too late! She used it on her legs instead.

        • Jennifer Bober

          LOL!! I was drinking water and you almost cost me a keyboard.

    • Tracie Rivera

      I like the dress on her…. but that hair is a disaster.

    • AC Simons

      Hot mess!! This is soooo bad. The oily legs are really a major hiddy.

    • jonnyf8

      But I do want to hang out with her because she looks like the funnest person ever right now.

    • jackie

      OK the hair is bad, and the legs are oily, but I think she looks great because she looks so happy!

      • your face

        I agree. I’m not sure if people are too harsh about JLo’s looks, or I am too forgiving, but pretty much like everything she puts out.

      • tallgirl1204

        On the best day of my life, I could not have come close to achieving this, so yeah, it’s bad for her, but she always looks better than 99.9% of the rest of us. And yes, she looks genuinely cheerful, so many points for that.

    • JauntyJohn

      There’s decolletage, and then there’s declasse.
      The hair is so fried, so just plain shitty, that it pulls that neckline from the former to the latter.
      Love the shoes though.

      • Gatto Nero

        I think the neckline had arrived at declasse even prior to the hair disaster.

        • JauntyJohn

          very, very likely.

    • random_poster

      I keep scrolling back up to look because that hair makes me laugh. Thanks for the laugh, Jenny!

    • Cheryl

      I think she has her Nars Illuminator on her legs and her arms. But way, way too much on her legs.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “Go home Jenny, you’re drunk.”

    • Constant Reader

      I’m not feeling at all well today, fellow kittens. But let me tell you, this post and the comments are snatching me back from the jaws of death. Laughter heals.

      (Actually, I’m being a drama queen. I’m nowhere near the jaws, paws, or any other part of Death.)

    • http://ashurcollective.com thehousesparrow

      I don’t think she looks that bad! Needs to tone down on the shine, though.

    • Funkykatt

      I love the shoes.

    • Annmarie Kane

      JNo!

    • http://tracismixedbag.com tracismixedbag

      For the record, in general I think she’s a knockout but did anyone notice that white is NOT her color?

    • Kristin

      I totally called the HOT MESS pronouncement. Do I get a cookie? My hair does this kind of isht when it’s humid out, but I don’t have a team of professional handlers to wrangle it into submission for me. Somebody fell down on the damn job today.

      And yes, why so shiny? She looks like she smells of coconut and chlorine, and not in a good way.

    • mlvc

      Wait. Is she in NYC or LA?

    • kmk05

      That’s a bad case of the 90s right here.

    • boweryboy

      Gross.

    • sk8tfan

      Isn’t this the same dress Michelle Dockery wore the other day? I have the same message for both women: get fitted for a good bra! At least Michelle was event-appropriate and properly styled. JLo, you disappoint.

      • Sabin

        I was wondering the same thing. I have an irrational hatred for dresses that look as though they’re being worn backwards…meaning, too much dam boob.

    • uprightcitizen

      I didn’t see the show, but I’ve seen video of her coming out and doing the “tight pants” song and dance with Jimmy, wearing a little cropped sweater, tight white jeans, and a really silly, goofy wig, and different makeup. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that was done BEFORE these shots were taken. That would mean she had about three or four minutes (during commercial) to go backstage, put this on, and run out. That would explain the hair, the sweat, the general disheveled-ness of it all. This is post-silly-performance. So this is Jenny doing the “trouper” thing for Jimmy, and willing to look a hot mess for comedy. Does that make everyone feel better?

      • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

        The Tight Pants was a week ago (she just stopped by for that one bit) and her appearance was last night.

        • uprightcitizen

          Well, shoot. I thought for sure I had solved the mystery of this look! Two visits in one week? Maybe she has a crush on Fallon and that’s why she’s all sweaty?

    • Denise Rambo

      I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so bad. And I hate black shoes with a white dress.

    • Milos Mom

      While she does appear overly lubricated, I am ok with this look. It looks relaxed and natural when she usually looks so “done”.

    • marlie

      Her legs look WAY oily and shiny here, but it wasn’t noticeable at all on the show last night. Neither did her hair seem THIS messy. I actually thought that she looked relatively simple-chic, compared to the usual assery that she wears. Great dress, though maybe not for a sit-down.

    • msdamselfly

      Gross

    • Emily

      gosh I kind of like it. I mean, certainly that is a bridge too far in terms of “glowing” body oil or whatever, but the dress works fine and the hair, I kind of like. She looks nice. LIke, a nice person. Like someone who likes a laugh. The Diva we usually see offers none of those qualities.

    • portlandmermaid

      How about one word, “desperate,” or three, “put them away.” Sweaty and disheveled is not a good look for a woman wearing a white dress.

    • greymain

      But they’re in FLA……..arrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh.No Excuse Miss Diva.

    • DuBey2

      I must admit I was so happy to see real skin on her legs after all the 3 layers of tights & fishnets at the World Cup performance & all other performances, that the shine didn’t bother me. I rationalized that she wanted to emphasize that she CAN show her real legs, sans pantyhose.

    • judybrowni

      Well, at least the dress covers her hoo ha.

    • Little_Olive

      I can’t believe it’s not butter!

      I, although, have to give it to her for being able to wear that dress.

    • ktr33

      Might this be the same dress Ms Dockery wore a couple of days ago with such finesse?

    • xmixiex

      It’s fun to see her genuinely smiling and laughing. She looks so pretty and it’s rarely seen.

    • mrspotts66

      she looks human.
      i love it.

    • Fuchsiaforever

      Yuck her legs are greasy!!!

    • livesarah

      Honestly, apart from the greasy legs, she looks better (less draggy) than usual. I was shocked at how long her dress is!

    • julia / xandra

      Really? She looks great, much fresher and natural than the Diva-realness she usually gives us. The only thing distracting thing is the shiny legs.

    • Skippymom1

      My legs will shine like that in photos if I have just shaved and have forgotten to moisturize. Otherwise I don’t see too much shine.
      I really don’t understand her hair – TLo nailed it – because it is always so gorgeous. Still a gorgeous smile. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      Dress doesn’t fit, shoes don’t go, hair is a disaster, legs look more greasy than shiny, and… I’m okay with the bracelet. TLo nailed it. Hot Mess it is.

    • Raspberry2012

      I can’t stand her, so seeing her look a hot mess just made my day. Thank you, Uncles!

    • smayper

      She is very, very shiny and slick. If anyone tries to grab her, she will shoot from the grasp like a fish.

    • Jennifer Schiller

      One thing to note: I’m pretty sure this wasn’t in NYC, I think it was in Orlando and she possibly just performed? I’m not positive but I know she performed and he’s down there this week. It still could use a lot of work, but I think this may be a post-performance interview.

      (I know this because they were in part down there for the Harry Potter Grand Opening reveal… *hides*)

    • Kikishua

      The Shining.

    • greyhoundgirl

      The show is in Orlando this week, not New York–it’s hot and humid there every June, so that’s no excuse for shiny. Jimmy’s face is slightly shiny, but he looks pretty normal, not like he’s schmeared.

    • Michael

      she looks perfect, it’s such an effortless look! you people are crazy

    • JynxTheCat

      Call me crazy I think she looks breezuy and chill instead of wound tighter than a spring for once. I mean it does not match the boobtacular bodcon dress but I love the California Summer breeze she has going neck up.