Chloë Moretz in Chanel at “Clouds of Sils Maria” Cannes Photo Call

Posted on May 23, 2014

We feel a declaration coming on, kittens. Stand back.

 

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Chloë Grace Moretz attends photo call for “Clouds of Sils Maria” during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France in Chanel.

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Chanel Spring 2014 Couture Collection | Chanel Spring 2014 Collection

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Chloe-Moretz-Chanel-Clouds-Sils-Maria-Cannes-2014-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

Here it is: Despite her clear love for fashion, Chloe has terrible instincts that have only gotten worse over time.

This look is so wrong in so many ways. That jacket was designed to be worn with Karl Lagerfeld’s freakishly small-waisted dresses underneath it. It’s not a look we love, because it can only be worn by .0001% of the population and even then, it distorts their bodies. But regardless of how we feel about the intended look, we don’t recommend trying to break up the pieces and reinterpret it. This is a very specific kind of look for which Uncle Karl had very specific instructions.

Worse, she paired it with pants that actually thicken the waist slightly, which says to us that whoever put this look together didn’t know what they were doing. In addition, she’s mixing far too many textures for one look and her whites don’t match. Then there’s that hat, about which nothing more need be said except to point at and say with disdain, “That hat.” 

No, she definitely needs some style schooling – and to listen to a good stylist.

 

[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Neilson Barnard/Getty Images, IMAXTree]

    • Natalie

      the pants are weird but overall she actually looks pretty chic. i don’t see the problem.

      • imspinningaround

        Yes, this is very Fronsh. I’m not hating it.

        • @Biting Panda

          Also Fronsh in that it is a bit of a Monet.

          • jilly_d

            Oh, you win, darling. Nicely played.

            • @Biting Panda

              ; )

      • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

        Your crowns enthrall me. How did you earn them?

      • Fuchsiaforever

        I’m sorry but splatters reminiscent of bird caca on your straw hat are NEVER chic! I’m 99.99999% sure Madame Coco would agree with my assertion if she were with us today!!!

    • RussellH88

      If she had stuck to the Chanel outfit, I would have loved it. It’s like Sci-Fi Twee.

      Whereas this looks like she has tripe wrapped around her midsection.

      • J.W.

        I was trying to decide what that resembled…you’re absolutely correct – tripe.

      • jtabz

        Can’t. Unsee.

      • Danielle

        See, I thought caul fat.

        • Hilda Elizabeth Westervelt

          I saw caul fat as well. Never a good thing to have associated with your midsection.

        • StarburstLady

          I see a mattress pad– the stretechy part that wraps around the sides.

          • smayper

            Oh, exactly!!

        • demidaemon

          The BKs have come up with so many disgusting allusions for a net of ugly fabric.

        • MommyDearest

          I’ll throw another one out there. It looks like the mesh underwear they give you in the hospital after you give birth. A God send for the lady bits, haute couture not so much.

      • http://www.chifleschips.com Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

        I thought it looks like bubble wrap. She could entertain herself while wearing them..

      • demidaemon

        I knew it reminded me of something. And now I am gagging, in the bad way.

    • FibonacciSequins

      Ugh.

      ETA: that was entirely meant for Chanel. This is all from the same collection, right? Separates from the same collection should go together better than this. What’s going on with the waist of those pants – it’s just bizarre.

      • KiP07

        The top is from the couture spring collection whereas the pants are from the regular spring collection. I actually think I could have dealt with the clashing whites and the hat if it were not for that terrible waist. Even just losing the very top of the waist improves the look.

    • @Biting Panda

      Don’t even care. I just watched the trailer for this movie and I am salivating to watch it. Bless her heart, maybe some kindly gay uncles will get a hold of her and teach her the magic.

    • http://recapscallion.blogspot.com/ Claire

      I actually think she’s young enough that the hat comes off as cute, but those pants belong in a bonfire somewhere.

      • RussellH88

        I’m just glad she’s wearing it instead of Depp.

        • Ginmaru

          Wouldn’t it have to have a hole in it or some dangling charms for Johnny to wear it?

        • livesarah

          Good call!

      • majorbedhead

        The hat looks as though she was a target for seagulls.

        • J.W.

          That’s what I thought when I first viewed the pic.

        • Marcella Cypher

          Oh much win for you, sir or madame.

          • Judih1

            Can’t unsee it now! Seagull embellishments!

        • A Certain Someone

          That’s exactly my first thought. Seagull target practice.

      • your face

        I like it too, and I like how the black bands carry into the top.

        The pants…well, yeah. I’ve got the gasoline over here.

      • lundibleu

        I think she actually could work a hat that shape very well, just not THAT hat, which looks like a passing pigeon took aim.

      • demidaemon

        To me, it’s probably the best part of the outfit. take that how you will.

      • smayper

        I confess to liking the hat (hides head in shame, hopes Uncles don’t cold-call her in class).

    • Anna Vasquez

      In my best French accent, à la Miss Clavel: “Something is not right.”

      • KinoEye

        You just brought a wave of happy childhood memories surging back. I LOVED Madeline. I still have a hardback collection of those stories.

    • sienna elm

      Do you think she borrowed the hat from Johnny Depp??

      Also, the mismatched whites make my eyes twitch.

      • Wink

        The whole look is horrendous, but the mismatched whites are the final “straw.”

    • Carrie

      Those pants have a diaper waist-band.

      • Dr. Faye Menken

        I had to do a double-take, that’s some straight up Huggies realness.

    • flamingoNW

      How could anyone think that rolly top pant could go with a jacket with such clean lines? All kinds of fail. That HAT. Looks like a bird shit on it.

      • Isabel

        The high-waist portion isn’t as stiff as it should be. Add gelatin or hairspray!

        If the waist had been stiff, I think that the pairing would have been great. Uncle Karl doesn’t have great ideas all of the time.

    • anneshirley

      I don’t agree that the top needs to be paired with one of those atrocious dresses. I could see this top being cute (albeit somewhat pedestrian) with skinny black pants or a simple black sheath underneath. Agree that the hat needs to die.

      • ballerinawithagun

        I agree! High waisted black pants would have created the same small waist illusion as the original ensemble, but much more comfortable.

      • Caitlin Rain

        I second that emotion.

      • SugarSnap108

        Yep. Those choices would absolutely be better than one of those freaky dresses designed to give a woman the proportions of a Q-tip.

      • Constant Reader

        The top is really cute and could look great styled the way you suggest. And the hat… just, no.

      • myandyleigh

        I totally agree. I even think the hat would be more palatable if there were a black sheath or skinny black pant instead of Grandma’s Sunday best long bloomers. I would recommend hat mutilation/death if not for her exuberant youth. She’ll eventually grow out of the hat phase. I’d rather she embrace exuberant youth hat shenanigans than naked model/old geezer clothes.

    • Kathy

      Yup, that boxy jacket, paired with the waist on those pants, ain’t helping the enthickening appearance of the ensemble.

      • DuBey2

        Good use of our new word: enthickening.

        • Kathy

          I’m amazed at the things I’ve learned here. It takes this old dog some time to learn new tricks, but it’s amazing how much you learn when you’re enjoying yourself. :)

    • gabbilevy

      Like so many times before, outfit could be saved by a nice chic pair of black cigarette pants.

      • FibonacciSequins

        In fashion, simple is better than tricky 90% of the time.

    • James

      I think this would be really cute on her if she had black, skinny pants paired with flats. I am wondering about that hat though, is she wearing it for actual protection from bird poop? Cause that thing is dirty.

    • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

      I think that bolero top could’ve looked great over something else, but whatever it was needed to be super trim in shape. Those huge pants throw everything off. And I LOATHE the runway look. Sorry Uncle Karl.

      • demidaemon

        Don’t apologize to someone who has clearly lost their mind. ;)

    • ktr33

      I’m a sucker for bows, so I thought she looked adorable until… THE PANTS! Is that foamy cummerbund attached to the pants? or did her tube top roll down? or is a separate element? huh, wha?

    • boweryboy

      Oh honey, no.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Jackson Pollock would like his hat back….

      • Qitkat

        Funny, I was just reading about him, and learned he died on one of my birthdays. I like the hat :)

        • kimmeister

          You have multiple birthdays?

          • Qitkat

            ;p doesn’t everyone?

            • demidaemon

              This exchange has me rolling in laughter.

    • B_C_J

      The pants are a disaster. Substitute them with slim black pants & this look improves a bit. I would also prefer that the hat not be splattered with paint.

    • Vanessa Reyes

      She looks like a house painting gondolier.

    • BayTampaBay

      I never thought one could ruin Chanel but Chloe managed to do it.

      • IMNAngryLiberal

        Chanel has been doing a pretty good job of ruining its ownself here lately.

        • schadenfreudelicious

          Was just about to type that Herr Lagerfeld has been doing just fine ruining it on his own lately….

        • demidaemon

          Indeed. Chloe is just giving us the visual aid that proves it.

      • Ginmaru

        Well whoever dressed her, surely didn’t help.

    • Margaret Grace

      High waisted skinny black pants would have done it for me. Or even white (matching white!). Honestly, anything but those pants, which I bought in black from Charlotte Russe when I was in high school.

    • Sophie

      I think she looks rather chic from far away, but then you start noticing
      the problems. I really liked it at first, then I noticed the crocheted
      waist and the white paint on the hat, and suddenly I liked it a whole
      lot less.

    • KateMaryC

      I am happy with seeing the jacket out of the full get-up. If she wore it with some sleek high-waisted black pants with straight legs, and lost the hat, I think we would have a winner.

    • Anna

      Those pants look cheap. Remember that Jessica Biel looking like the cover of a catalogue you immediately throw in the trash post from a few weeks back? These pants are on Page 2 of that catalogue.

      And somewhere out there, Johnny Depp has already placed an order for a custom-made bullethole-ridden version of this hat.

    • KinoEye

      I’ll be nice and say her makeup is on point. Gorgeous.

      But dear, why didn’t you take off the hat you were wearing when you repainted the living room before you went to your premiere at Cannes?

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      The waist band looks like that of a diaper. Not chic.

      • Joanna

        Exactly. My 2 1/2 year old son wears that look MUCH better than Chloe.

      • Jessica Freeman

        Jinx!

    • Danielle

      Here’s my declaration: that “huge top tiny waist” style of top is fug.

    • marlie

      Keep the hat and even the jacket, but ditch the pants and find some slim fitting, dark trousers.

    • Nika E

      I can’t even. I keep looking at the pictures trying to understand. Its so discombobulated. Her like, pelvic area looks weird too right?

    • VicD

      It’s supposedly good luck when a bird craps on you. But … “that hat”

    • Jessica Freeman

      I am sad to say I saw this shittery and thought “I bet this is Chanel”. I was unfortunately, correct.

      The top of the pants looks like adult diapers. I am going to go cry in the corner now.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        I owe you a Coke.

    • smayer

      Switch out those pants, and it’s a super cute look.

    • nannypoo

      She looks like a gondolier.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      A pant-version of the super skinny-look skirt would have been good. And seriously, when you are in a location where you might get pooped on by seagulls, wearing a pre-pooped hat is a bad idea.

    • crash1212

      I dunno. I love the hat and the top, it’s the pants that kill this. Very bad instincts. Also, that whole distorted body look that Uncle Karl is preaching is gross.

    • holla

      those pants reminds me of the postpartum disposable mesh panties you get at the hospital. another PR project gone wrong.

    • seventeenwest

      She looks cute for a gondolier.

    • SewingSiren

      Oh dear. If it weren’t for the exposed stretch lace maternity panel , the look would be rather chic.

    • decormaven

      Just because it’s all Chanel doesn’t mean it all pairs perfectly together. I like the top, but loathe the pants. Too bad- her visage is very pleasing here.

    • BlairBear

      I don’t hate this except for the hat. I don’t love it but from a distance it’s kind of striking.

    • Malek

      She is the Un-Shipka.

    • Sam Smith

      I don’t like anything about this look, except that she looks like she jumped out of the pages of Madeline.

    • Tracey Magyar

      Why pick a hat that looks like a bird shit all over it? That’s the first thing I thought of when I saw it.

    • StarburstLady

      I think the hat and top could be cute, if paired with a high-waisted pencil skirt. Those pants remind me of a mattress pad. They should be burned, and I have a feeling they’d light pretty easily.

    • formerlyAnon

      I like the jacket. And if her pants had been severe and tailored to the waist, it’d have worked for me (the non expert).

      The trousers are what make me want to weep. They fit perfectly through the hipbones, crotch and butt – how often do we see that? And they’re topped off with such a weird, over-casual and unflattering expanse of – whatever! – between the waist and the crotch that I have no energy to wish that they’d been cut a skosh narrower through the thighs – and I NEVER complain about trouser legs being too wide.

    • MilaXX

      I not only think she has bad fashion instincts, I don’t think she dresses well for her body type. She is short waisted and short necked. Often her choices play against that. Those pants are a fine example of that which is why she looks thicker in the middle than she probably is. I don’t mind the pairing of the hat and the jacket.. I think a pair of retro skinny black pants would have worked better.

    • Ginmaru

      A beautiful smile, her make up looks fresh and no duck lips.

      I’m just not as in love with the bubble wrap pants…how on earth do you wear underwear under that? Is it lined? Or am I too old-fashioned and you go commando?

    • elemspbee

      Whoever made those pants, FIRED! Ugly pants. ugh.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      “That hat” is the only part of the look I really like.

    • MK03

      ‘O sole mio, sta nfronte a te!
      ‘O sole, ‘o sole mio, sta nfronte a te,
      Sta nfronte a te!

      She looks like a gondolier, is what I’m saying.

    • Sif

      “I’m wearing a hat today because pigeons just pooped on my head.”

      • BLauD

        Too bad they hit the hat too…

        • demidaemon

          She wasn’t fast enough….

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      She’s missing a lollipop.

    • Qitkat

      I couldn’t disagree more. I love her entire look, head to toe. She looks great in the hat, and the paint splatters are fun and not too overwhelming. She is a slender young thing, and can get away with pairing the top and the pants, those of us with ahem “regular” figures would not look so chic.
      Perfection for a slightly upscale beachy summer look. I covet, if I had her figure stats ;-)

    • GoAwayKardash

      My declaration is that Uncle Karl has lost it.

    • NMMagpie

      Those are the ugliest pants I have ever seen. Ever.

    • David Kresner

      Kitchen exhaust fan filter. Waist.

    • http://www.what-the-frock.com Dana F.

      Here’s my declaration: Chanel is overrated. It’s fine for the runway but NOBODY should wear it IRL. Except maybe Kiera Knightley.

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      Ahoy Matey… your ship has sailed!

    • Lori

      Setting aside the major problems with all of these pieces, her top half of her and her bottom half are from completely different outfits. How did she look in the mirror and not see that?

    • aahlife

      She obviously has access to some interesting pieces, she needs to find a good stylist that can mentor her. Every time I see Chloe I see that she has the wrong instincts by just her hair color. She needs to have dark hair, blond is so very wrong for her.

    • Annmarie Kane

      Gondolier Realness.

    • BLauD

      Why wear pants that show your adult diaper? It seriously looks like geriatric baggy pant-boxer syndrome.

    • Deya

      I’m calling this look: Madeline Mashup

    • conniemd

      What bugs me most is the top looks like something Shirley Temple would have worn. You can’t pair Shirley Temple primness with a bared midriff.

    • uprightcitizen

      The way the model is wearing the pants (big, slouchy, and voluminous) is completely different then the way she’s wearing them. They look chic when they’re slouchy. Fitted? Not so much. Clearly, you either cover most of the top of them like the model, or you wear something tucked into them … a sleek, long tee in a dark color, maybe. Is that splatter painting on that hat? Are we bringing back everything from the 80s? Ugh.

    • Tracy_Flick

      Mismatched 1970s doll clothes.

    • mdcoon127

      I actually like it – work

    • DuBey2

      ” and her whites don’t match” THANK YOU!
      Also, on what planet would ANY of us like those tripe/caul fat pants?
      On the plus side : I love the top in the 3/4 sleeve – w/ black ciggies, like so many have said. I even like the hat, in a French Riviera kinda way, and how it goes with her smile.

    • kimmeister

      Aw, man, I had such high hopes when I saw the cute top and hadn’t seen the splatter on the back of the hat. Those pants are an abomination and should not be worn by anyone, anywhere, any time.

    • AshleyDeHaye

      At least she is wearing the hat properly set and not pushed on the back of her head like a refugee from The Culture Club.

    • Nappysue

      I kinda love it. The pants are unusual and suit her age. The top is all kinds of adorable, and although I usually hate fedoras, this hat’s brim is wider and more flattering. Nothing here for me to hate.

    • t bell

      The top half is semi adorable but those pants are hideous; almost any other pair if pants in the world would have been a better choice.

    • katiessh

      This for me is a Monet- I liked it in the thumb nail and when I saw it close up everything just fell apart

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Aw I kind of like the hat. But I would.
      I think the top could work with a sleek pair of high-waisted black pants – these pants are not those pants.

    • demidaemon

      This just looks sloppy and wrong.

    • Valdri8

      Those pants definitely look like a PRW challenge where the contestants had to use Depends to create a look.

    • Mr. J.

      Tadzio as a mess.

    • Mousentrude

      Actually I rather like the hat. The rest looks like a poorly executed school knitting project.

    • A.E. Boredom Queen

      The splatter paint pattern on the hat looks like bird droppings. And after noticing that, it’s all I can see from this outfit.

      • LadyLuck777

        Agreed. My first thought was that a bird pooped on her hat.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      Chloe Moretz is a total fashion victim. TLo called it– she needs a stylist stat.

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      I don’t like the paint splatters on the hat, but I like the combination of the hat and the top. It’s giving me a strong “Edwardian schoolgirl trudging back home after a secret swim in the lake” vibe that I adore. The pants…

      Um…yeah. Those pants. They look like those weird “popcorn” tops that Walgreens is always trying to sell every summer. You know the ones that are about 3″ big and (allegedly) stretch out to fit sizes 0 to 32? So awful. I disagree that the top (jacket?) can only work with the matching skirts/dresses, but Chloe is not helping me prove my point here with those pants. :(

    • Fuchsiaforever

      What a pity! What a HOT mess!!! The top is charming but it does not match anything else she is wearing! Quel dommage!!!!

    • Fuchsiaforever

      I hope Chloe gets the memo Uncles!!!

    • Andrea Lentz

      The pants are weird on her but i love the top and hat, I think she looks pretty classy and cute.