Pairs Division: Pitt and Jolie

Posted on May 23, 2011

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie attended the Los Angeles premiere of “Kung Fu Panda 2″ and took the moment to remind the world that their genetic superiority makes them too good for color.

Michael Kors Fall 2011 Collection/Model: Daphne Groeneveld

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SHE: Looks funereal as usual, even with a skirt slit to the upper thigh. That skirt is weird; it’s got a somewhat matronly mid-calf length but it’s slit to her nethers. It appears she’s wearing the same top as in the runway look except in black and backwards. We don’t like when someone recreates a runway look exactly, but we would have preferred it over this. White would have broken this up a bit and kept it from look so dour (although it would have taken an officewear turn) and the keyhole looks better on the front. That high neckline does her no favors. This tends to be her thing; covered up in black, with oddly chosen patches of skin. Still, hair and makeup look pretty good and we like the belt. Score: 7/10.

HE: One thing we truly appreciate about Brad Pitt is that you can never accuse him of dressing too young for his age. There are times when we think he goes too far in the opposite direction, though. This outfit would look perfectly presentable on a 70-year-old. We like each individual piece, right down to the shoes. Everything fits him well and flatters him. The pant length is fine because the outfit is casual. What kills us here is sameness of tone. We hate when a man goes out in head to toe black but we’re not sure head to toe beige is an improvement. Every piece looks fine on him but put them all together and he looks like he’s in a retirement community. Score: 6/10.

Combined score: 6.5/10. Considering their names have each become synonymous for “beautiful,” they are a remarkably boring-looking couple. So much potential wasted. You can count on one hand the times they both went out together looking stunning.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, style.com]

    • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

      “The keyhole looks better on the front.”

      True, but she’s bound to have a lot more boob then the model, so wearing the keyhole on front might have tipped it into tacky.

    • Anonymous

      The other problem with her top is that, because she’s wearing it backward, there’s not enough fabric to fall over her bust properly. That’s why you see those folds above the bust. The pattern expects a relatively flat surface (the back) instead of her, um, ample bosom, so it pulls.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. If she didn’t want the keyhole in the front, she should have just found a different top. This just looks like she doesn’t know how to dress herself. 

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      Eek. Brad looks like he’s wearing a beige velour jump suit to Bingo Night.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

       I’m sure it’s just the angle and shadow, but Brad looks like he peed his pants.

      • Anonymous

        thanks for saying that cause i thought my eyes are still blurry this morning!  LOL 

      • Anonymous

        I had to pause in my scrolling cuz for a second i saw that too 

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ERXFN675N4TWLAIXVUOCVCXDCQ Michelle

        OMG it does.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Deborah-Davis-Hewson/100001474430119 Deborah Davis Hewson

      Dessert boots!!!

    • Anonymous

      She looks like she’s had a long day at the Wal-mart and can’t wait to get home take a shower and slip on her bunny slippers.

      He looks like he directs snuff films in his basement.

      • Anonymous

         I totally agree about Brad!  And Angie’s look is certainly tired, that’s for sure.  Tired goth, maybe that’s what she was going for.  I’d give them a combined 3 out of 10.   

    • Anonymous

      He is starting to morph into Jack Nickelson in his style. I like her ponytail but that’s about it. 

    • Anonymous

      No doubt appearing on the red carpet is a chore.  But they should demonstrate their acting skills by pretending that they enjoy it.  Or at least that they don’t find it so unpleasant. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

      Disappointing.

    • Toni Mitt

      IDK–even the runway look was nothing special.  I’ve worn this outfit to work for 30 years in one form or another (and without the boob slit, of course) and while it’s a classic look–it’s just not for the RC.   And Brad–yikes!  Getting much action at the retirement home these days? 
      All-in-all I think you’re generous with your score.  I’d give them a combined 4/10–and only for both pairs of shoes (fierce heels and desert boots!)

    • Anonymous

      The shoes are too high.  FIrst pic on the bottom – looks like she is trying to stand in toe shoes.    I don’t think that is the same top but if it were – other than some knits – if you have any breasts at all, a shirt should not be wearable with the back as the front.  As a DD, I hate when they (designers/manufacturers) don’t accommodate women’s breasts.

      his look is just boring 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NRNG4QBNUCJ7X7KFMKRNF5UTEE Maya

       Brad Pitt looks like a giant bandaid. Do not like.

    • MilaXX

      Eh, she has always bored me & the black overly covered up thing looks too slutty goth for me. 6/10
      He needs to cut his hair. Plus, beige. 6/10

    • Valerie Huang

      I actually quite like both of their outfits. Then again, I’ve never minded “no color,” unless it’s basically invisible. But I think that both of them look great. Obviously it doesn’t make them stand out immediately but it keeps making me scroll back up to look at the pictures again. It looks very subtle, simple, and put-together to me.Even though the fit on the dress isn’t great, I think this one, with a  few edits, suits her extremely well; and this is coming from somebody who normally can never understand why she wears the things she wears.

    • Amanda in Austin

      I give Angie credit for turning the blouse around. It’s a “kid’s movie,” after all.  I agree with you about Brad.

    • Anonymous

      Brad Pitt is head to beige, right down to the glasses!

    • Anonymous

       Ms Angelina is difinitely wearing the top backwards…see how it puuls in front and the neckline. The really just dont care, they just want to get out the door, be comfortable and go home. It’s Kung Fu Panda for heavens sakes. They should have shown up in jeans and the gaggle of children they haave aquired.

    • Anonymous

      That’s not the same top worn backwards.  The longer sleeves on the model are better, the keyhole is shorter on AJ and the shoulders fo the models top wouldn’t have translated backwards very well at all.  that said, it still isn’t a good top for Angie with this skirt.  A white or color top would have been so much better.  The skirt is a great skirt, just goes boring with a black top. 
      he looks dull, dull, dull.  If i looked half as good as he does, I would be certain to wear better clothes.  Or no clothes at all. 

    • Anonymous

       He needs to visit a barber.  Ick.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      That skirt/shoe combo does not flatter her legs.  They look much too bony.

    • María Olivia Humphreys

      I’m just glad she did something with that hair to make it less dead than usual.  In the thumbnail it seems as if she’s cut it off and it for a second it looked so cute!

      And her boobs are too big for her frame. Him, I don’t even know anymore. Tha Jack (Nicholson) is too contrived a look -honey’ you’re not a legend just yet. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1600050042 Jennifer De Guzman

      I love Angelina’s look. She’s always had a touch of the goth, and this kind of outfit shows how that aesthetic can be updated and made sophisticated and timeless rather than outdated trendy.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1600050042 Jennifer De Guzman

        And, you know, everyone talking about how dour Angelina looks is totally ignoring the icon for the post, on which the date has been so thoughtfully placed over her smiling face.

    • David Albright

      Im just gonna come right out and say it, her legs are disturbing they look like chopsticks. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UCLO5V2YD36T7QMPKOC7YXPOFU Erica

      Yes, they clearlly hate the RC.  And their outfits are boring.  Maybe I’m too deep into having 7-month twins and a four-year old, but I don’t get their life with 6 kids at all.  And I know that they have nannies for days because they are made of money.  Still.  Aren’t they frequently flying here and there with kids in tow?  And having to report to movie sets to get actual work done?  Aren’t they constantly surrounded by tired, cranky kids who get sick and then get everyone else sick?  All my husband and I can manage to do is get people fed and clothed, get to work ourselves, repeat the process at night, and fall into bed at 9.  And all of their talk about how they love the chaos.  Just looking at them makes me tired.  I am done with my pointless rant now. 

      • MilaXX

         That never bothered me, but I come from a large family. Mine is even
        wackier because it include extended family that gets together nearly
        daily. My grandparents had 8 kids and all of their children had at least
         2 and a few had 5 and 6. We do a lot of things together and somehow
        manage to function. Large families often have a method to the madness that works for them and I expect they have plenty of nannies for the crazy times. Traveling together does look a bit like the scenes in the Home Alone movies where Kevin ends up getting left.

        • http://twitter.com/margo8461 Marguerite

          I’m also from a big family – one of 8 children.  And while my 3 boys definitely create all the chaos I can handle, there was a “method to the madness” growing up.  We didn’t have maids or nannies.  The older kids watched the younger ones and everyone pitched in. My Mom was perpetually exhausted and my Dad worked two jobs for awhile, but all of us were offered a college or vocational education.  Six of us have college degrees; two of us have advanced graduate degrees; and we like to point out that none of us have been in prison.  

          As the parents of 6 small children, I give Angelina and Brad extra points just for showing up awake and fully dressed.  When my boys were small I got to the office more than once only to realize I was wearing one black shoe and one blue shoe. Maybe monochromatic dressing allows them one less thing to worry about.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3CGY36NG25QFIZQOLMH7SQTKLU andrew

      Does the woman own NO jewelry?  Does she not believe in wearing loaner jewelry?  How dour, as usual.  And she looks unhealthy to me– her limbs are so stick-like, she has that praying mantis look. 

      He looks frumpier every time I see him.  Why do they always look so serious on the red carpet? 
       

      • Anonymous

        And it’s a kid’s movie! Geez, they look awful.

    • Anonymous

      not to pile on – but does he have too much hair gel?  because he looks WAY overdue for a shampoo 

    • Judy_J

      Morticia Addams and George Costanza’s dad hit the red carpet. 

    • Christine Marie

      Genetic superiority my ass, they’ve both had tons of work done. Financial superiority is more like it. 

    • MilaXX

      oops

    • Vaniljekjeks

      I think I wore a similar dress in grade school on Halloween when I  went as Elvira.  She’s just missing the dagger in the belt.

    • Anonymous

      If I was in a movie about pandas  I would have worn the white top with the black skirt.

    • Anonymous

      I respect them for going simple; that seems to be their whole attitude now, what with the kids and the environmental/human rights/etc work they do.  So even though they are wholly boring in their dress, I would give them a pass…………………….. IF Brad didn’t look like Joe Camel. 

    • Shawn Hill

      The hair and makeup–on BRAD–is what belies the old folks home colors. Plus that banging’ body. Love the comment about color: what if she had worn the top right, but not in black or white, but maybe blue?

    • Anonymous

       Oh my. 

      Do you think she knows that her shirt is on backwards?

    • Anonymous

      Brad simply looks like someone’s dad. Angelina looks like, well, she’d rather be anywhere else but at some frickin’ kids movie premiere. 

    • Anonymous

      How can you call this boring? She looks like she’s auditioning for Natasha in Rocky & Bullwinkle 2, directed by Robert Rodriguez & he looks like he’s having Grandparents’ Day brunch at an expensive golf resort that caters to people who don’t play much golf.

      There is one thing about his outfit – somehow the fact that I kind of like it, in a twisted way, makes my skin crawl all the more when I look at him. The more I look at him the more he icks me out.

    • Anonymous

      Damn, they’re so weird together I forgot to score. Her: 7/10. You can tell the top’s on backwards by how it pulls in front & the height of the slit looks wrong. But she still looks good. Him: 9/10. Great outfit, subtract 1 for monotonicity.

      Combined: Start at 8/10, subtract 2 for looking like they dressed for different events resulting in 6/10.

    • Anonymous

       Now I know what Brad’s outfit reminds me of: when he was in his old-young guy outfits in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. There’s even an ensemble he wore that was all beige but he had a lot less hair: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2564131328/tt0421715
      What I remember from that film was how hard it was for him to damper down the vitality –same with this present “elder” outfit. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/duchesskat Kat Hazzard

      Why can’t Brad Pitt dress in real life like his character from the “Ocean’s” movies? He’s so handsome, and except when he’s in a tux he usually looks like someone who’s been digging around in my grandpa’s hamper. 

    • Anonymous

      OUT, until they both decide to start trying again. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6PUVFQ7YCZZFZRIER6BEJ4HVYE Amye

      Irregardless, they still look stunning. 

    • Anonymous

      He looks like a piece of toast.

    • Anonymous

      If only he had a different colored shirt or pants on … alas.

    • MJK19601987

      She always looks like a wax figure of herself.

    • Maria Behnam-Terneus

      Has anyone noticed that in the second pic it looks like Brad peed his pants. LOL!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=711782537 Clementine Tufts

      No TLo…you gave them too much credit. He looks like poop and she looks like death. Poop makes me nauseated and death makes me sad, so now I am sad and sick. You are giving them a nearly passing grade and I had to take a mental health/sick day from looking at them.  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6CL5YIXVIHF22D3NC3DSVYY6FU Clementine

      No TLo…you gave them too much credit. He looks like poop and she looks like death. Poop makes me nauseated and death makes me sad, so now I am sad and sick. You are giving them a nearly passing grade and I had to take a mental health/sick day from looking at them.

    • Alloy Jane

      Let’s face it.  Miss Angie dresses boring because she’s a boring dresser.  Social consciousness has nothing to do with it.  If she wanted to be a socially conscious consumer with her RC looks, she’d go vintage all the way.  She wouldn’t buy something (fairly boring) from a current collection.  And I’d give Band-aid Brad more points for those shoes if they were actual military issue desert boots benefitting the Wounded Warriors Project. Also, this is the opening for a kid’s movie.  Where the hell are all their kids?  

      As they stand, her 5/10 because if she didn’t want to flash the girls, she should’ve worn a different shirt.  The skirt length bothers me and I’m not a fan of that belt.  Him 6/10 because his clothes are on the right way but he peed himself.  So much yawn in those photos.  SO much yawn.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t have a clue if their kids were at the event or not, but even if they were I’d say it’s only humane (to kids, parents, photographers and all the various assistants responsible for wrangling folks along the red carpet) NOT to include the kids in the rc photos.  Getting that many kids that young to all look photogenic simultaneously (hell, even to all look at the camera simultaneously) is a whole different branch of photography.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MNMVM2GPVUEIOJXBOSLCXKAW4U judy brown

      So the aging beatnik bongo beard doesn’t weird you out?

      Or the fact that her face and neckline now look Barbie doll sculpted?

      Yeah, they’re two of the most beautiful people in the world, so why fuck that up?

    • http://twitter.com/tartu85 Current Resident

      Come on, dolls, look again.  It’s not the same top at all.