Jennifer Lopez on How a Turbulent Summer Changed Her for Interview Magazine

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Jennifer Lopez Tells Nikki Glaser How a Turbulent Summer Changed Her

It wasn’t the summer Jennifer Lopez was hoping for. A canceled tour, the end of a marriage, and an internet pile-on that felt particularly brutal, even to an entertainer who has literally done and seen it all. But this is J.Lo, an unshakeable force, an immovable object, un-knock-down-able, even if she might occasionally stumble. So where is she today, and how have the last few months changed her? After a summer of relative silence, the comedian Nikki Glaser found a Jennifer Lopez who was more than ready to talk.

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How do you examine what you did wrong without falling into a “what’s wrong with you”? I’m really just asking for myself.

“The work is figuring yourself out. It’s looking back at the feelings underneath and the belief systems that we have about ourselves that make us make certain choices and create certain patterns in our life. And so, when you get to a point where you think that you’ve learned the lessons, and then it blows up in your face again, you realize, ‘Okay, I haven’t, so what is it that I need to look at right now?’ I would say, never stop looking inward, because it’s so easy to blame everybody else.”

I can’t help but see the mirror of your quest for self-esteem, the one that you found for her. You have been very open about how you’ve also struggled with your own. I don’t think people would ever think Jennifer Lopez could struggle with low self-esteem. I struggle with it and people are always shocked, based on what I do. What’s been your journey with your self-esteem? Can we go back to the beginning?

“My whole life has been proving my enoughness. Dealing with feeling like you’re enough, from when you’re very young, is something that you don’t figure out for a long time, because you’re not looking at yourself like that. Something is driving you and your decisions and you don’t know why. You start going, ‘Wait a minute, what the fuck is going on here?'”

I think we all know you have to love yourself before you can let someone else love you. We know that, but do we practice it? Do you feel now you’re practicing it?

“That, to me, is a scary thing too, or a confusing thing, because it’s like, ‘Oh, you couldn’t love me if I have flaws. I have to be perfect to be loved.’ That’s not true! Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better, because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries. And I go, “Here’s where you’re falling short for me and here’s where I’m falling short for you.” And so, we get better at those things together.”

Written by Nikki Glaser
Photographed by Brianna Capozzi
Styled by Haley Wollens

[Photo Credit: Brianna Capozzi/Interview Magazine]

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