Jennifer Lopez in Charbel Zoe at the at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards

Posted on August 25, 2014

When little girls half her age are sashaying out onto the red carpet and proudly showing off their fetishwear, every smart DIVA knows there’s only one way for her to go if she still wants to secure a little bit of time in that spotlight. She reaches deep into the back of her closet and pulls out…

 

Jennifer-Lopez-2014-MTV-Video-Music-Awards-VMAs-Charbel-Zoe-Red-Carpet-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jennifer Lopez attends the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards at The Forum in Inglewood, California in a Charbel Zoe dress paired with a Thalé Blanc clutch, Jimmy Choo shoes, and Norman Silverman jewelry.

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The full-on “Drag Queen.”

Honestly, if it came out later that she was over the whole thing and just hired a drag impersonator to go in her place, we wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: David Gabber/PRPhotos.com, INFphoto.com]

    • RussellH88

      The best part is the pleasured look on her face. That’s a full on “Play with your dresses little girls, but watch how a real diva does it.” look.

    • Alexis Wenceslao

      Too busy a design, but there’s no denying she’s working the shit out of this dress.

      • Sarah

        Her stomach muscles must be on FIYAH after sucking in so damned hard for however long she had to sport that number. She’s like a Ninja Gown Warrior.

        • Qitkat

          That’s why the zipper is showing, the photo was taken when she was exhaling. When she inhaled, it DID become an invisible zipper ;p

      • Chris

        I agree. Of all the sparkly, tacky, flesh baring dresses that night JLo looked the best in hers. Say what you like about her she still looked better than the girls half her age.

    • imspinningaround

      “I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

    • Sobaika

      Tacky as shit, but a part of me loves how she can show Iggy Iguana how it’s done.

      • MilaXX

        I wish I could upvote this a million times.

    • Alexis Wenceslao

      Carmen Carrera would drool.

      • Kent Roby

        My first thought was how stunning Carmen would look in this. Carmen might drool over the gown, but she would definitely hold her own body-wise!

    • @Biting Panda

      “She reaches deep into the back of her closet and pulls out…”

      Casper Smart?

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        He’s still hiding disconsolately in that tote bag JLo used for her mall run with Leah.

      • 3boysful

        I was going to say “a spangly maillot with matching sarong.”

      • Man Dala

        Well, he was in attendance too, so probably YES.

      • Sophie

        I thought “scraps of chainmail”. She looks like those “warrior women” in video games for boys.

    • Glam Dixie

      Little known fact: Jennifer was simultaneously revealing her new fragrance, Desperation.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      HOLA LOVERS! It is to WERQ.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        WERQ, indeed. Just look at the expression on JLo’s face and you know she’s left all of those baby wannabe’s in the dust.

      • Tracy_Flick

        That woman has TWINS! Twins!

      • misstressofsylar

        She’s my favorite among the colorful Fug characters. Hola lovers indeed!

    • nannypoo

      It would be shit on anyone else. On her it’s perfect. Not attractive, but perfect.

    • Sarah

      She looks good, for me. I just wish her makeup wasn’t so muddy – the eye schmear is not good and her lippy is neither here nor there.

      • NMMagpie

        She actually (and I can’t believe I am saying this) looks tired and kinda sorta her age.

        • Sarah

          OMG, if I look like that when I’m 45, PRAISE JEEBUS because it would sure have to be a miracle.

        • susan6

          Maybe you’re not used to what average 45 year old women look like….they don’t look like that!

        • higgledypiggledy

          See, I actually like that she looks – if not her actual age, then at least not like a fresh young thing. It makes her insanely slamming bod a tiny bit heroic. She’s out there DIVA-ing it up for all us ladies in our mid-40s.

    • Dany

      This is SO tacky but it is also SO JLo so I find it difficult to hate.

      • Little_Olive

        See, IMO, it’s too much, even for JLo. She has proven that she can do it. repeating it is not a good strategy. And even so, the dress on it’s own is just.too.much. (or not at all enough).

    • NMMagpie

      Of course.

    • Chuck Barthelme

      Those younger girls wish they had her arse game. Otherwise, standard attention whore.

    • sojo

      Her body looks AMAZING. That said, this dress looks like a really fancy bathing suit with sarong.

    • ashtangajunkie

      No one does “eat it, bitches” quite like JLo.

    • butterflysunita

      Say what you will, her body is slammin’. And this is definitely the venue for a dress like that.

    • MsKitty

      She’s still gonna be pulling this look when she’s 60. It’s what she does. Meh.

    • Soozables

      I bet Joslyn Fox is recreating this look right now, using 9 bikinis, a glue gun, and a sack of rhinestones.

    • Anna

      Needs a head-dress.

      • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

        If she could turn back tiiiime…

        • Anna

          To 2001!

        • marlie

          I was thinking a Carnivale headdress, but that would work, too!

    • Lori

      That zipper is unfortunate.

    • Jennifer Bober

      I wouldn’t be caught dead in it, even if I had the bod, but I can so hear the mental “Watch how it’s done bitches” as she stepped out in it. It’s so her.

    • Kaonashi

      This is just so Jennifer, I can’t hate it.

    • NBG

      Anything less would not have been J.Lo and we would have been disappointed. (But she does need a new makeup person.)

    • tallgirl1204

      She must be exhausted– she looks fabulous, of course, but isn’t that level of perfection a lot of work?

    • hughman

      Frank Frazetta, S/S 2015

      • FibonacciSequins

        If she has older brothers, I’d be convinced Frazetta was a conscious influence.

    • RescueMe23

      I go back to my comment on a previous post. They should all just show up nude and save us the trouble. After all that’s what they’re going for in the long run.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      I honestly don’t know if I hate it or love it.

    • Little_Olive

      Can one accurately call that a dress?

    • Elisabeth Ashley

      It’s certainly very Jennifer Lopez, she knows what she likes to wear and sticks with it. The zipper bother me though.

      • MoHub

        Yep. That’s the one thing. Needed an invisible zipper.

        • Qitkat

          How come this is so obvious to any bitter kitten and designers are so oblivious?

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            BK’s are well versed in the horror of the very visible zipper, due to the many unfortunate appearances of same on PR>

    • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

      She looks so pleased with herself that I can’t even be mad.

    • MilaXX

      So tacky and yet perfect for the occasion. Honestly she looks better than some of the young’uns half her age.

      • FibonacciSequins

        Was thinking the same thing.

    • leahpapa

      Shante, you stay.

    • Vanessa Reyes

      Somewhere in the world Fraulein Klum is saying “Well played J Lo, well played.”

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Her hair is looking a little dry. Oh, and “of course”.

    • ThatVampinLady

      Her facial expression is pure “Piss off, young’uns. You are so basic.”

      • Kitten Mittons

        That’s my favorite part. She has that attitude and demeanor that help carry these outfits off, waaaay more successfully than the kids half her age that attempt to do the same.

        • Anna

          That’s exactly what the problem was with Taylor’s gymnastics leotard. She didn’t have the body for it and she doesn’t have the attitude to make it provocative.

          • Kitten Mittons

            Nah, she tried. Or she tried for fierce, I think, with the attitude. Came off a bit like she had gas.

            I still think that anyone with too many curves would just make that leotard veer toward trashy. Not that Tay pulled it off, but too much booty in that thing, given that it pretty much had no shorts at all, would be…..pretty cheeky.

            • Anna

              Lol @ “…like she had gas.” True, the leotard could work for JLo (or any other similarly curvaceous lady) as stage/music videowear but that’s about it.

            • Kitten Mittons

              There, that’s it. You’re absolutely right. It should be stagewear, and nothing else.

    • Shoelover1512

      I can’t decide how I feel. She looks amazing…but because most of the girls there are half her age it seems like it should reek of desperation but at the same time I don’t think it does. My mind can’t decide!

      I think it’s the fact that she just looks so damn proud…it’s hard to hate that.

    • marlie

      Full-on JLo explosion of tacky. And y’know, it works for her for this venue. This is totally a “THIS is how it’s done, bitches” look, too.

    • colleenjanel

      I know this is teetering on the edge of commenting on her physical attributes, which I don’t want to do, but when one starts to develop love handles (which we mere mortals know that — and more — is perfectly natural at her age), one should re-think the fetishware.

      • Sarah

        I think that you are mistaking her pelvis for love handles.

        • Kitten Mittons

          I think those are actually external obliques. You can sorta see her hip bone right below where that muscle is popping. Bitch is seriously fit.

          • Sarah

            Ah, I bow to your superior knowledge of physiology. I was born sadly deformed, with nothing but squishy bits in that general area, so I didn’t know the correct term for her enviable definition ;)

      • mommyca

        Gosh… she has no love handles anywhere… and no visible cellulite either… i hate her…

      • Judy_J

        I think you are right….she does look sort of fleshy in the lower back area.

    • KingCrazy

      Honey, give it a rest.

    • Richard Harper

      To be able to wear that dress, at that age, and give a lesson to all the twenty-somethings is worth every painful, sweaty crunch she ever had to make.

    • MissRiss65

      Despite all that glitters, that left boobala is taking on a weird shape.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      I love it. because JLo went JLo and that’s really what we’re here for. No sense in trying to be demure and classy at the MVAs. And she looks sickening.

    • lunchcoma

      It’s ugly and tacky, and yet I think it completely works.

      Is J-Lo the Cher of this generation?

      • MoHub

        Absolutely Cher. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d have credited the design of that gown to Bob Mackie.

    • little britches

      One Ho to rule them all, one Ho to find them, one Ho to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

    • smayer

      This would have been a good deployment of nekkid sandals.

    • Ashleigh

      What is it? I’m so curious how this is constructed…

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        Artificial fibres and prayer.

        • mlle

          And several rolls of garment tape.

    • papillon

      I feel like this picture could have been taken at any time in the last twelve years.

    • KendraMR

      I freaking love this. It’s the VMAs: go drag or go home. Her body is sick (in a good way); however, I don’t if the weather that ruined her makeup or someone did a crappy job, but it not flattering and ages her.

    • Capt. Renault

      It’s very Circus of the Stars.

    • LibKat

      The dress says “Eat it, Bitches!” but the eyes say “Bored now.” Maybe that’s why it looks like she went nuts with the luminizer.

    • crash1212

      The thing I like about this look – and I do like this look….so whatever y’all – is that even though it is skin-tastic, to my eye it reads way more covered up than some of the other hooker/drag wear exhibited last night. I think she styled it perfectly and that third photo tells us exactly how many f**ks she gives about what we think!

    • YeahYeahFashion

      Please please please dear Lord can I look anywhere near this fit and gorgeous when I’m 45?

    • GorgeousThings

      Well, you know JLo – her motto is “Subtlety sucks.”

    • Boulderista

      She looks slamming in this dress but I wish it didn’t have the slit, somehow the bottom half competes with the top half when the top half would’ve been more stunning enough.

    • Skippymom1

      I swooned when I saw her in this. Sorry but I don’t see drag queen at all, as much as a 40 something woman showing the kidlets how the VMAs are done. The second to last picture appears as tho’ she had just finished a *snap* and the smug look on her face says it all. Bravo!

    • GeoDiva

      She looks like a WWF/E wrestler who got an invite.

    • B_C_J

      Subtle this is not but you can’t deny she has what it takes to pull off this type of dress.

    • Columbinia

      Sweet mother of God! The bodice seems to be firmly in place, but one errant move, one wrong step up a staircase, in or out of a car or seat and we get quite a view up that split “skirt.” Does that thing around her hips and legs qualify as a skirt? Oh, please let there be some substantial coverage of her ladyparts under that showgirl/drag queen gesture at a skirt.

    • Chattygal

      I thought she looked slammin’ – everyone looked like a kid playing dress up in comparison.

      • Dagney

        Yeah, agree. I love her style. She owns it, which is rarity on the rc.

      • alliekat9090

        Yup. Her whole demeanor says “THIS is how its done you little bitchlets”. And she is right. This IS how its done.

    • BlairBear

      I feel like I should hate this but I like the back it’s sexy and she looks great. I admire that she can pull this off and she looks better than the girls half her age

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      omg, is her back looking a little saggy there? no. it cannot be. she and iggy a. could get together and kick some butt.

    • http://mazanajle.tumblr.com Daniel Maza Najle

      I still can get over the fact that she’s 45 :O

    • frannyprof

      Where is her minion Leah Remini?

    • nancymae

      How is it that the booty that launched 10 million records looks positively petite on this red carpet?

      That said, Jenny from the Block still has it. Go fortysomethings!

    • PinkyK

      She looks so sweaty! She lives in Miami so she should know how to combat the heat without looking so sweaty!

    • Tina M.

      The one thing JLo will always be able to hold over Beyonce: No. Motherfucking. Spanx. Damn.

    • PastryGoddess

      Ok so I’m kind of amazed there there is NO illusion netting anywhere. Her body is doing all the work. I think it needs a raise

    • Pterodactyl111

      HOLA LOVERS, BOW BEFORE ME

    • Miss wks

      She’s really starting to look like a Real Housewife.

    • Milos Mom

      Wow… First time I’ve ever seen her weave look so raggedy. First time for everything I suppose.

    • Man Dala

      As much as I dislike her, she’s got the body to pull it off.

    • DuBey2

      Her face is saying: “Take THAT, Ri Ri”

    • Big Bear

      Bang! That’s how it’s done.

    • quiltrx

      You know she was SO pissed when she realized Amber Rose was even MORE NAKED than she is!
      And J Lo honey, even all that skin doesn’t distract me from yo ratty hair!

    • Clash D

      WHO DOES HER MAKE UP? Omg.

    • Ray

      She doesn’t like to whore around.

    • lilibetp

      Another site called this body glitter and a curtain.

    • ailujailuj

      eh… a little disappointed in jenny. this mackie look is a bit aged and pagenty for the MTV and such… I think “Iggy Iguana’s” geddyup is far more interesting and current—even though it’s about to splode. I love the silvery art deco detailing, yet futuristic focus. Jenny? uggh. BUT DAYAM her body looks outstanding no matter what she wears.

    • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

      How do you put that thing ON?
      And she should be wearing sunglasses cos the sparkle is blinding. It’d be like being inside a discoball and you’re the sun.

      • somebody blonde

        With the help of your two personal dressing assistants/costumers. Once you achieve full divahood, they just show up.

    • anotherkate

      I don’t even care, she looks amazing. LOVE this for her.

    • Joey Melliza

      please have that dry cleaned when you give it back – said Cher

    • evave2

      She looks like she is trolling for a new boyfriend. There is ‘WAY too much display going on, almost like she is in a shop window. Pick me, I’m Jennifer Lopez.

      Just too much.

      Of course, she does look terrific.

    • Mr. J.

      I wore this on Senior Fun Day. They sent me home.

    • ElaineMarie34

      I am so, so bored by attention-hungry celebrity women displaying every inch of skin they can possibly devise a way to display.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Showing imposters how it’s done.

    • Indigo54

      I’m so bored with Jennifer’s spaghetti string dresses. On the other hand, her off runway clothes are even worse.

    • love jennifer lopez feet

      I want to rub Jennifer Lopez FEET all over my face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stop beating off over her legs and feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!