Taylor Swift in Julien MacDonald at the InStyle and Warner Brothers Golden Globes After Party

Posted on January 15, 2014

Once again, we feel boxed in by our own opinions, darlings. It happens when you spew so many of them for a living.

The thing is, we give Tay so much shit for dressing so princessy all the time that we tend to feel duty-bound to praise her when she puts on a “Do me” dress.

 

Taylor-Swift-Julien-MacDonald-InStyle-Golden-Globes-After-Party-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-1Taylor Swift attends the InStyle and Warner Brothers Golden Globes after party in Beverly Hills, California in a Julien MacDonald dress paired with Jimmy Choo sandals and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry.

Taylor-Swift-Julien-MacDonald-InStyle-Golden-Globes-After-Party-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-2Julien MacDonald Spring 2014 Collection

Taylor-Swift-Julien-MacDonald-InStyle-Golden-Globes-After-Party-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-3

Taylor-Swift-Julien-MacDonald-InStyle-Golden-Globes-After-Party-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-4

Taylor-Swift-Julien-MacDonald-InStyle-Golden-Globes-After-Party-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-5
But this is kind of ugly, no?  Too much going on for one little dress. And the opaque parts aren’t very flattering. “Here are my tiny cat ear breasts and my gigantic, body-spanning muff.” It’s just … weird.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      This dress reminds me of when the carnival came to town and there was always the one booth that sold swords, dream catchers, and belly dancer wear. We small town girls thought, “How elegant!” We never bought the clothes, though. $28 was too rich for our blood.

      • ailujailuj

        HILARIOUS

      • Danielle

        Oh oh oh and the tall, pointed princess hats with the tulle hanging down!

        • @Biting Panda

          I remember leaving my new princess hat in the back of my aunt’s VW Bug and being heartbroken when I wasn’t going to be able to retrieve it before it was time to go back home. It was the end of my little 7yr old world.

          • Danielle

            I know what I’m getting you for Christmas now, Panda.

      • Carleenml

        BUT I could afford the oversized, floppy black velvet beret which I wore for 3 minutes later that afternoon.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Going from princessy straight to tacky seems like a bad idea. This dress screams “Pamela Anderson’s 6th husband’s funeral” and that cannot be the look Brand Taylor was going for.

      • Ragnarockette

        Google Pam recently. Even she wouldn’t be caught in this mess!

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          Wow – I love that pixie cut on her!

    • Diego!

      Honey, croché is not your thing. Drop it in the garbage can please. You’re welcome. Besides, you look washed out!

    • http://viridianpostcard.blogspot.com/ viridian61

      I keep thinking of a merkin, and how I learned about this on this site…

      • demidaemon

        That is a ridiculosly appropriate description of this dress and, yet, still somehow disturbing. Good job!

    • formerlyAnon

      How to describe this dress? Hmmmm. Brain twists.
      It’s- it’s- it’s like a cartoon drawing of underthings hanging from a clothesline, rendered in crochet.

      And god knows, nothing says “do me” like that, amirite?

    • Frank_821

      Too much crochet parts and even if it were more “discreet, the dress should have been in a color that was more youthful. not black

    • @Biting Panda

      Ew. No. And the hair really doesn’t go with the overly sexy (trying to be) dress.

      • heartbot

        The hair doesn’t go with anything. She desperately needs to do something else with it.

    • MK03

      My overriding annoyance for Princess Tay-Tay is preventing me from objectively critiquing this.

    • Sarah

      She is making me have an urge to shop for produce at a farmer’s market.

      • sojourneryouth

        Or, hang a plant from the ceiling–in 1975 :)

    • ailujailuj

      yes. that is not a ‘do me’ dress… it is a ‘not done yet’ dress.
      pffft.

    • Danielle

      Irrational hate list.

      • butterflysunita

        Rational hate list.

      • http://www.getbrilliantfx.com/ BrilliantFx Skin Products

        AGREED – I can’t take it – her songs, her singing, her look of “surprise” on her face ALL the time. Am I the only one in the world who was not upset that Kanye let it rip at the most prestigious awards show around (sarcastic), MTV Music Awards??

    • claudemtl777

      Julien McDonalds taste level has never been very high.One just has to see him on project catwalk and britains next top model to realize he’s not very sophisticated.he’s derivative, at best…

      • cowper

        I am hearing MacDonald’s patronizing squeaky voice in my head right now, and thinking “Ewww….” At some level, it seems like he hates women.

        • Kikishua

          He’s very very shrieky when excited, makes my ears vibrate unhappily. Possibly one of the reasons why he was voted off Strictly Come Dancing (UK’s Dancing with the stars) so early. Bless him though, he did have to do a jive…

    • Anna_Cecilia

      I feel like she dresses for two identities. Identity #1 is the “Role Model for young girls” who has to maintain a certain princess/family-friendly aesthetic and sell records to that audience.

      Identity #2 is more of who she actually is: a red-blooded female in her ’20s who hooks up with Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, Conor Kennedy, Harry Styles…I would actually find her a lot more interesting if she embraced the latter. At least it’s honest.

      RE: “Gigantic, body-spanning muff,” HAHAHAHAHA.

      • sojourneryouth

        Love this comment! You have quite accurately summarized my feelings about the schizophrenia of Tay-Tay’s image. You have had some dirty fun, Fairy Princess. Own it!

        • Anna_Cecilia

          Right? I don’t *love* Miley by any stretch of the imagination but find it very interesting at how she gets vilified. Unless she was scamming on Liam Hemsworth while she was engaged, Taylor’s definitely been a lot busier than she was.

          • sojourneryouth

            Good point. We have such judgment about sexuality for women. I hate, Hate, HATE the term “slut-shaming”, but there is some truth to the concept.

            • Anna_Cecilia

              Same. In this day and age, we can and should do better.

            • demidaemon

              I really have no problem with her dating multiple guys in a short time period. That’s freakin’ realistic for someone in their twenties. My problems are threefold: 1) The way the entertainment media jumps on her like a pack of starving dogs every time she shows interest in someone and talks it to death. 2) The way she seems to downplay her own true personality and interest in such things, to the point of fakeness. 3) The fact that, sometimes, it just seems to be a way for her to find new material for her work, instead of, you know, using her songwriting talent to explore new subject matter.

            • Anna

              #2 is how I feel about her too. You articulated it much better than I did :)

      • Evan

        Do you think she really did anything with Conor Kennedy though? Wasn’t he awfully young? Or maybe I’m being naive. I don’t doubt the rest of the guys though and that her image is very calculated.

        • demidaemon

          He was 17 (?) with a 22 (?) year old woman. Of course they did stuff.

          • Evan

            Yeah, but he was barely legal and they were at the Kennedy Compound, weren’t they? So I feel like they would have had a lot of eyed on them. But as I said before, maybe I’m just being naive.

            • demidaemon

              I just assumed they went to that house she bought nearby.

            • Evan

              Oh That’s true.

          • Anna

            I thought he was 18, but yeah that’s pretty much what I was going to say.

    • alyce1213

      She looked long and droopy all night. The gown was droopy and this black crocheted is droopy.
      I’ve been liking her choices better in the past year, she’s looked good, but not these.

    • Jessica Freeman

      Well you can’t very well wear a ‘do me’ dress and then put on that hair.

    • hughman

      Plant hanger on the back porch.

      • StellaZafella

        My Bougainvilleas are wilting at the mere thought….

    • marlie

      Tay would get a pass it she wasn’t wearing another (ugly) incarnation of the ubiquitous sheer and mesh peekaboo dress.

    • Janet B

      I am bothered more by her hair than the dress.
      I wish she would just run her fingers through her hair and let it be, or let someone else do it.

    • Aurumgirl

      It’s so ugly, but it is a trend now. A trend that should stop.

    • teensmom99

      Yeah, this is just bad. Anything that makes someone in her early 20s with zero body fat look like she has droopy breasts is not a good dress.

    • Kimberly Wilcox

      The idea of the dress might not offend me if it didn’t look like a cheap beach cover-up that one might buy from a craft fair.

      • Kimberly Wilcox

        I do like the idea of her in Black.

    • msdamselfly

      I think it looks lovely on her

    • MilaXX

      She just doesn’t have the body for a do me dress. This dress is meant for someone a little tacky. Give it to a housewife or a tacky lady celeb like Kat Grahamn, This dress requires curves to fill it out.

      • Little_Olive

        Idk, I think it could actually be rescued from tacky by someone with a bit more pizzazz. Agree on the curves -she looks like she left her booty on the other dress.

      • ampg

        I think she doesn’t have the personality for this dress, really. Her body’s not the issue, but she looks terrified that this choice is harming her brand. What she needs is to be able to own it, with fiercer hair and a look that says, “Damn RIGHT I’m not wearing underwear to this party!”

    • boweryboy

      Definitely a “Do Me” dress. I see that girlfriend is on the prowl for new song material.

      • demidaemon

        Heh.

    • Richard Banger

      It’a a mono-kini pretending to be a dress

    • decormaven

      This is a Paula Patton dress. Ship it off to her, TS.

      • Imasewsure

        This is Paula’s “family funeral” dress… only she would have it cut to crotch length and then add some lucite heels!! Poor Paula… poor us…

      • demidaemon

        Please don’t, for all our eyeballs sake. send it to the incinerator please instead.

    • Blair Sylvester

      Taylor is on the prowl!! She will take your man and your job and throw your drink in your face

      • TheDivineMissAnn

        Your comment would be good lyrics for a country song!

        • Blair Sylvester

          sadly there is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women. not so sadly Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Kathy Griffin and probably every fun celebrity will be in the special place

          • Jacob Bowen

            Tina and Amy made a joke though, and people take them so seriously. I think it is HILARIOUS that TSwift fans are hating on Tina for making that joke on Sunday.

            • Blair Sylvester

              fans are a touchy breed. I like her earlier music but I love it when people can laugh at their shortcomings/ their image. If they can’t they lose appeal for me

          • demidaemon

            Guess we’ll all be joining them there. Hell must be a pretty fun place!

            • Blair Sylvester

              The bitter kittens endlessly snarking with funny ladies can’t wait !

    • homofascist

      I am sorry, but “gigantic, body-spanning muff” just made me, cliche as it may be, LOL.

    • xmixiex

      one day… ONE DAY… someone will slap the smirk off her annoying face.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Makes her boobs look like they’re hanging a little low, especially for someone so young.

    • AmeliaEve

      Anybody wearing that dress needs to project a lot more confidence than she shows here. What is with that pigeon-toed stuff? She is not a Loli girl at Yoyogi Park.

    • Tatiana Luján

      She looks like Michael Cera’s wax evil sister.

    • Kathy

      Why is it all I can think about is how long did her skin have an impression of that crochet pattern?

    • Rand Ortega

      I love it. It’s naughty. The Princess is dead (at least for now)! Long Live the Slutty Tay!

    • http://www.momforless.com Crystal

      Dominatrix Barbie.

    • zuzu

      It may be a “do me” dress, but she’s paired it with her usual “be me” hair and makeup and posing. She really needs to loosen up.

    • webslice33

      i dont like her but she looks good in this outfit

    • acevedob

      Horrific. Absolutely horrific.

    • Liz Lake

      If I hadn’t seen the runway proof that this was the brain child of Julien MacDonald…. I would be strongly inclined to believe TSwift crocheted this while watching classic Grace Kelly movies with Zooey Deschanel admiring the vintage fashion while the smell of freshly baking cupcakes wafts into the room. Taylor, leave this tragic DIY project gone wrong where it belongs…. on a Buzzfeed post about Pinterest fails.

    • Trickytrisha

      This does not work. At all. Looks like a french maid Halloween costume that got shredded and shrunk.

    • Kelly

      The thing is, Taylor Swift just doesn’t have “do me” face and hair — she’s got “princess” face and hair. So despite her gorgeous figure, her well-fitting dress, and her well-styled shoes, the whole look still comes across as wrong, off-kilter. What we have here is a failure of face and hair to communicate with dress.

      • Erica_Vuitton

        I think the hair and make up are the same from the black & pink princess dress she wore to the actual awards show.

    • TinaBelchersawkwardmoan

      I don’t think it helps that her expression is so blank and not into it. If you’re gonna wear a “Do Me” dress, get into it.

    • Constanza Álvarez Espinoza

      I love those shoes… and that’s it.

    • Leah Elzinga

      strippppppppertastic!

    • Tracy Walker

      The virginal ankles-glued-together stance is quite at odds with the “Do Me” dress. I don’t think Taylor is quite ready to sex us up.

    • Jean Genetic

      This is brilliant writing, which is what brought me to TLO in the first place, as I wouldn’t know fashion if it came up my ass like a tight thong. Just to repeat it: “Here are my tiny cat ear breasts and my gigantic, body-spanning muff.” I can’t look at that dress without thinking this!

    • Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

      It kinda looks like those crocheted detergent bottle cozies you buy at the Elementary School Craft Fair. Not extremely attractive, but hey, with all those holes, you can grip it well!

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      The fug girls nailed it with ‘drunken hammock’ – especially given that ridiculous Bambi knock-kneed pose. If you can’t own it, don’t bother.

    • http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

      I love the pattern of the design – if it were on a bedroom pillow embroidered in purples and blues or something. I do love textural, geometric textiles, but not here. It’s making her look like she’s wearing one of those goofy kitchen aprons you get as a gag gift that makes you look like you have a cartoon bikini body and say’s “Kiss the Cook” on it. Screw this dress. Now I’m pissed off.

      • Qitkat

        Yes to the pillow.

    • jilly_d

      OMFG I just snorted aloud in a departmental meeting at “gigantic, body spanning muff”. Thanks gentlemen. You truly make my life worth living.

    • lunchcoma

      That looks like one of my mom’s half-finished craft projects from the 70s.

    • Erica_Vuitton

      The kids would call this a “freakem” dress. It’s even better in the vid of her dancing to “Pour Some Sugar On Me” with Hailie Seinfeld. YUP. You know you wanna Google that now…

    • Katherine Leay

      she is not the girl for a “DO ME” dress, maybe for a “DO ME SOFTLY” dress…

    • Qitkat

      Macrame on crack.

    • E. D.

      No, and especially not with that hair.

    • JaCory Deon

      The thing is, she doesn’t have the presence nor personality to pull off such a hot, body-con dress. She’s entirely too “Oh my gosh, me” for this ensemble…nice try but stick to your regular gig.

    • p_capet

      here’s the thing: she’s a geeky prodigy and still gives me this air that she’s playing dress up. maybe it’s because she was a songwriter for sony music at age 14. she’s had a very unusual life and still comes off as this dorky schoolgirl, maybe because she didn’t grow up normally. not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just her life. whatever she wears, unless it’s super-princessy and she’s smiling, it seems weird and fake to me. because in her heart, i think she’s very driven and part of that these days is wanting to prove she’s mature, but at heart she’s super twee and there’s nothing to be done about it.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      It’s not a dress for Taylor Swift. This is a dress for a Basketball Wives reunion- you need boobs and hips and attitude and questionable taste.

    • kimmeister

      Hers appears to be at least partially lined though, right? In the model shot, you can clearly see the space between her thighs in the lowest sheer section. In the first pic of Taylor, there is no visible space between her legs.

    • LeelaST

      Screams cheap to me.

    • Imasewsure

      Gentle applause for the effort but not loving this particular version of the cut-out “Do Me” black lace/macrame dress…. not bad though

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      She looks sensational.

    • French_Swede

      Props to Taylor for trying something new.

    • Tracy_Flick

      Compare to J.Lo’s black-and-sheer dress. Taylor’s looks like a macrame craft project, J.Lo looks like a star.

    • MzzPants

      JLo she ain’t.

    • cocohall

      Mostly, it just looks very uncomfortable, and then there is the weird skin dents it would leave behind for hours. Don’t wear it out during the day or the tan you develop is going to make you look like you have some horrible skin condition. Plus, snag potential is huge. Was there NOTHING else available?

    • CT14

      And the hair! The hair is still bad though slightly improved from the GGs.

    • quiltrx

      Total Lu-Lu dress! “But then I discovered…MACRAME’!”

    • CPK1

      yikes!!!!!!!!!

    • GTrain

      totally agree the opaque parts are oddly huge

    • unbornfawn

      Even though it fits beautifully she looks uncomfortable in the dress. Maybe if she made an effort to own the look…

    • d4divine

      Agreed…also, she changed from her GG dress into this, she should have changed her hair. I’m not loving the shoes either.

    • guest2visits

      I like it, but I can’t tell if it has a few sequins or what the little sparks are. It would probably be better with alittle more sparkle….which will make this dress even more stripper-y; but somehow Taylor is keeping it from being too tacky or cheap. She looks good. I think it’s a dress that could look very tacky or stripper on most, but not here. Sleek hair and the model’s shoes would take it to the next level.

    • ThesisMonkey

      the nicest thing i can say is I’m sure this looked better in the dark.

    • Big Bear

      Black macrame pot hanger. But I suspect it’s a GTNYD. J Lo?

    • http://www.domesticdisturbia.com/ Christi Wampler

      Also, if she’s going to wear the slutty dress, can we lose the church lady hair?

    • Sam Erin

      This is something Hayden Panettiere would wear.

    • E2_Remote

      I kinda looked like this the day I ran away from my parents at Disneyland and got stuck in the rigging at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Minus the red lipstick. Oh, and I was 5.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      You know, I was going to go against the grain, Uncles, and say how much I did like this dress. Until I got to this part: “Here are my tiny cat ear breasts and my gigantic, body-spanning muff.” And now I can’t unsee it.

      Oh, well, sorry Tay-Tay! I was on your side till I kept reading. Then I just wound up with a fit of the giggles.

    • demidaemon

      This is probably one of the most hideous dresses I’ve seen all month.

    • Closet Crisis

      Yuck. I need to Purell my screen now.

    • http://www.getbrilliantfx.com/ BrilliantFx Skin Products

      I do not know why but I can not look at anything she wears because of the weird, pinched look she always has on her face. The red lips just make it worse. I know she is extremely tall, but putting her in 3 inch heels all the time makes her like like a 13 yo that just started wearing her first set of “heels”. She is a candidate for a new hair style – chop it.