Revenge S1E7: Charade

Posted on November 03, 2011

Okay, what were you more surprised by, Nolan’s abs or Nolan’s sexual orientation? Because we were pretty blindsided by both. Does this show get more delicious week after week or what? We don’t know why so many people call it a “guilty pleasure.” There’s no guilt here, bitches. This show is a flat-out PLEASURE.

So Victoria and Conrad celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary by submitting to a profile in the Leisure section of the Times and hosting a small, intimate, disaster that leaves literally every single attendee running from the table, questioning themselves and their relationships. Darlings, why can’t we ever have dinner parties like that?

Also, crazy-but-still-kind-of-hot Frank, tracks down the real Emily Thorne, who knew Amanda in juvie and who now poses as Amanda and works as a stripper. LOVE these people! Real-Emily kills Frank with a tire iron just as he’s about to tell Victoria who Emily Thorne really is. Because in grand soap opera style, he can’t say “Victoria! Emily Thorne is really Amanda Clarke!” No, it has to be more along the lines of “I’m so glad you answered your phone. I was so worried that I’d never hear from you again. I’ve been doing everything I can to get back into your good graces. You’re never going to believe what I found out. About Emily. It’s a doozy. Are you ready? Hold on to your hat, because Emily is — ” WHAM. Oh, Frank. Killed by soap opera dialogue.

And Amber Valetta fell five stories, crushed a cab, and woke up a couple of days later with no visible swelling and only minor scratches! Wow! People in The Hamptons, hunh? They’re a special breed.

Declan is a douche and we want to never stop punching him, which is wrong of us. Jack is a wuss and he’s failing to prove that working class people are interesting and essential to the story.

Let’s see, what else?

Is Emily really in love with Daniel or is this whole thing an act? Is Charlotte her half-sister, do you think? Which means she’s sleeping with her half-sister’s half-brother. The Hamptons, right? Also, Ashley’s a bit more devious and grasping than we thought. If it weren’t for that whole “gay conman with restraining orders out” thing, she and Tyler might actually make a good match. And we’ve been yelling at Emily all along that she was being far too careless with the clues to her identity laying around her house. She’s lucky Frank only found her gun. But then he found out everything else without too much trouble. Sure, he’s a security expert and not your average snoop, but he managed to unravel Emily’s whole story in the space of a day. It’s just lucky for her that the real Emily’s kind of a crazy bitch.

And finally, with each passing week, Victoria’s participation in the David Clarke frameup looks more reluctant and she seems more tortured by it. We think that’s one of the most brilliant things about this show; it gleefully rolls around in juicy, some might even say hackneyed, standard soap opera tropes, but manages to paint most of its main characters – Victoria especially – with some nuance and shading to them. Sure, the fun of a character like Victoria is watching her vow to DESTROY someone, but it’s made more interesting by the fact that Madeline Stowe can actually act and she’s being given some fairly decent material to work with.

[Photo Credit: ABC]

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  • Anonymous

    God bless you, guys!  I LOVE this show.  There should be no guilt in pleasure. 

  • taodon

    Love. This. Show.  We have had some horrific years of campy drought, thanks in no small part to the ever pervasive “reality” genre – but between Revenge and Once Upon a Time, I feel like that the void of deliciousness has finally begun to fill.

    Also, too – did not see Nolan’s abs coming AT ALL – knew he was a sister from way back – but not the abs.

    • Anonymous

      Omg yes! the woman who plays the evil queen is perfection! between her, madeline stowe, and jessica lange (on american horror story), fall is a great season for women to shine on tv. scene-stealers! 🙂

  • Sobaika Mirza

    Easy: NOLAN’S ABS. Who knew that was under there??

    • Anonymous

      Apparently Gabriel Mann (the guy playing Nolan) is an ex-model, which is impressive. He’s also 39 which impressed me, he looks more like he’s in his late 20s to me! But I guess 39 makes sense if he was late teens/early 20s back when Papa Clarke invested in his company, and now it’s 16 or 17 years later.

      • Anonymous

         39??! Wow, he does NOT look that age, but you’re right, it makes perfect sense for the character.

      • I was trying to figure out where I’d seen the actor before for the longest time… turns out he was also Arthur from Season 2 of Mad Men!

  • This show is awesome. 

  • Anonymous

    I’m not an lol kind of person.  But this post made me do it twice.  Bless you.

  • Anonymous

    i didn’t see any of this coming, truthfully … let’s pray that frank is actually dead lol.

    and jack has a storyline coming, it’s just a slow burn. remember from the first ep, he’s the one standing over daniel’s bullet-riddled body on the beach.

  • Anonymous

    Gabriel Mann (Nolan) is a former model.  Who knew!  I find him a hottie, in that I’m-playing-Jesus-in-the-Hampton’s-production-of-Godspell kind of way.

  • Linde Hoff

    Yes, it’s about time we got back to the night-time soaps — fond memories of Falcon Crest, Dallas, and the Denver Carringtons!  Oops, am I showing my age here?…..

  • Love this show and am totally hooked.  I knew Nolan was gay last week when he leaned in to Daniel after drugging him before Daniel pushed him away.

  • Judy_J

    Wow…I haven’t watched this show, but you can bet your boots I’ll definitely have the DVR set to tape all future episodes. 

    • SMJ

      Catch up with past episodes on the ABC site- I spent the whole day in front of the computer a few weeks ago, totally sucked in.
      Thanks for blogging this, TLo!

  • Anonymous

    Most of the dinner parties I have leave every single guest running from  the table questioning how I can live in a house with so many people and only one bathroom.

    • Anonymous

      That was a guerrilla laugh out loud. Didn’t see it coming.

  • Love, love, love this show! With how much Victoria swoons over her Danny I think he’s her and David’s baby, and the daughter is Conrad’s so she treats her like crap, Hampton crap. You feel bad Charlotte? Here’s a car!

    • taodon

      I think it’s the other way around, personally… at least I hope – because Danny and Emily being siblings kinda freaks me out.

  • Joseph Davidson

    Love this show.  When Tyler went in to seduce Nolan my roommate and I both looked at each other and said, “Are they really doing this?!”  and then they totally did it.  Gay hustlers!  Murderous strippers!  This show is the best.  

    One question: When Tyler comes back to Ashley and says he has a copy of Conrad’s hard drive, are we supposed to believe that he copied that after sleeping with Nolan, or did he just steal the copy directly from Nolan.  And, if he stole it from Nolan, why didn’t we get to see Nolan copying the hard drive himself???

    • Anonymous

      I’m hoping that Nolan gave it to him in “payment” and that it’s actually fake. Or has some kind of digital signal in it that will alert Papa Grayson to what Tyler is up to. After all, Emily/Amanda (Emanda?) told Nolan to do something that would pit the Graysons against Tyler, and I think that would do it.

      • Joseph Davidson

        That’s a really good theory, actually.  Nolan definitely has the technological know-how to make that happen.  It’ll be interesting to see how it all plays out.

        Now if they could just get rid of Declan, this show would be perfect.

        • Anonymous

          OMG, Every time Declan opens his mouth I want to punch myself in the face.  

    • taodon

      He could, of course, have been lying to make himself “look better” to Ashley

      • Mary McClelland

        that gets my vote! OR Nolan and Tyler are in cohots and eventually Emily will join them to ultimately take down Conrad Grayson financially! Emily is bound to catch on if Nolan is going behind her back in any way. 🙂 

  • I adore this show, like, for real. But I knew Nolan was “family” from the time he rolled up in those pants with the little whales on them with the Captain’s hat lol, and I KNEW I didn’t imagine Tyler making a move on Daniel after he roofied him last week. 

    More of the hot, giant body guard though- they can keep him around as looooooooooooong as they like. 

  • Two little taps? Frank’s not dead. 

    • This is possible- i mean, if a 5-story fall isn’t gonna kill you, then a tire-iron is merely a flesh wound lol.

      • Mary McClelland

        How much do we want to bet Lydia isn’t going to wake up after all?! 

  • Anonymous

    I have ADORED this show from the first episode.  It’s incredibly convoluted, with good guys/bad guys switching round about as fast as a whirl-a-gig twirls…

    It doesn’t hurt that the acting is fabulous.  And the writing is way better than most of the prime-time fare.

    Anyone have any ideas why Emily isn’t gleefully embracing Nolan’s help in her schemes?  Why wouldn’t she want an un-named co-conspirator?  (Dates me, I know, but…)

    Gotta say…I love the way that girl’s mind works.

    • Anonymous

      I think Emanda wants the joy of destroying the Graysons and their enablers all on her own. She’ll use minimal outside assistance.

      • Anonymous

        Huh. You think that’s enough motivation?  

        thing is, she seems actively HOSTILE to him at times–and he’s the one who changed her from juvie to billionaire. I don’t think just “Nolan, please, I’d rather do it MYSELF” (another creaky old commercial reference!)  is a strong enough motivation for that level of non-cooperation and hostility.

        dunno. Just seems to me like it’s over the top a little.

        OR…maybe there’s more to that back story than we’ve yet been told!!! (Gawd, I hope so!!!)

    • Tom Shea

      I wonder if Mike Kelley has or had an endgame planned for the show. If he wasn’t sure he was going to get a second season, would he have front-loaded the drama to make Emily/Amanda triumphant at the end of the first? And if it’s the case that she wins as that body hits the beach, where does the show go from there?

      • Anonymous

        Second season=hiding your real identity from the police during the murder investigation and protecting your fortune, now dwindling from the Hamptons summer spending spree.  

  • Anonymous

    You’ve got me interested. I taped last night and plan to catch up on the first episodes over the weekend (I hope!).

  • Love this show, love all the characters with the exception of the kiddies. What is the point of them, really? I’ve been DYING to find out what is Tyler’s deal. So glad they went down the Talented Mr. Ripley route instead of just being stalkery 

  • Anonymous

    I walked through the room this week while my daughter was watching this show & mysteriously found myself still in the room 45 minutes later. Rather confused, but fascinated.

    Now I know why I was confused.  I’m trying to resist, I don’t need another show to watch. [resistance is futile . . . ]

  • Anonymous

    Part of my joy in last night’s show was knowing I could “visit” with TLo about it today. Thanks, darlings!

  • I’m SO glad you guys are capping this show now.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  You’re right, what makes it so great is that Emily Van Camp and Madeline Stowe are such good actresses, and can believably portray complicated, nuanced women, rather than stock characters.  My only hope is that this show has a finite end in mind, and doesn’t drag on for years and years.

  • I want to punch Declan too, but I don’t think it’s wrong. I’m still waiting for someone to throw expensive champagne in someone’s perfectly made-up face.
    Also Nolan is by far my favorite 😀

    • Anonymous

      I know and then when I realized that in the Pilot he inadvertently refers to his brother as “8 Mile” I got even more furious. UGH. 

  • Anonymous

    “How crafty of you.”  From Queen V when Emily gives her the framed wedding invitation re-creation.  I LOL’ed so hard. It was delivered with perfection.

    ‘I can build you a Panic room”
    ‘I don’t panic.” said by Emily very coolly, very precisely. 

    LOVE this show!

  • Anonymous

    So glad you guys are recapping this show now!  Very unimpressed by Declan and Jack, I can’t help but wish their screentime was devoted to other things–like more screentime for Madeline Stowe, or seeing Nolan and Tyler make out, which, for the record, DID NOT see that coming. At all. I had suspicions about Tyler pulling a Talented Mr. Ripley on poor Daniel, but Nolan’s bisexuality–and the casual way he mentioned it–caught me by surprise.

  • Everything about this show is delicious.  Declan is so annoying, and I would be delighted if he and his stupid storyline would go away.  I really want Charlotte to be Emily’s half sister, though.  And Nolan seducing Tyler and then videotaping everything was just fantastic.  I look forward to this show every week, and am now sad that we don’t get a new one next week.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve been enjoying it a ton…I’ve stuck with it unlike Pan Am which lost me a couple episodes ago. A few weeks ago I was concerned that they didn’t have enough material to extend much past a single season but last night’s twists and turns reassured me that they have plenty to work with. Agree on the Declan comments, his character is gratingly cartoonish to me. Although if I remember correctly a lot of the Lost characters initially seemed like caricatures, too, so maybe there still is hope!

  • Anonymous

    This makes me so happy that this show is TLO approved – it had been a guilty secret of mine. If you start covering “Awkward” my life will be complete.

  • Anonymous

    frank… tyler… why are all the hot guys on this show evil?

    love this show, love the recap.

  • Anonymous

    I started watching this show because my 12- and 14-year-old girls do. I also monitor Vampire Diaries, Nikita and Pretty Little Liars (aka ” Pretty Littlle Lesbos”  as it’s known in our house) for the same reason.  Most what teen girls watch is too soapy and corny for me, but this show is addictive. Even my husband sits down to watch on Wednesday nights. As an aside…Last of the Mohicans was on last night and Madeline Stowe still looks amazing 19 years later.

    • Hell, I have my husband and mother watching it.  I started watching Pretty Little Liars but don’t really get it.  I think I’ve come in too late.

  • This is my favorite show! I’m so glad to see it has a lot of fans. My fav. part is that they are so slowly revealing details about Emily and her motivations. I was a little concerned after the first few eps. that she’d be destroying one person per week (like that finance guy she ruined—that was a little too easy), but it has become much more layered and complicated, without being too ridiculously convoluted. 

  • Anonymous

    Whoever runs that juvenile detention facility needs some serious security upgrades. Frank managed to break into there awfully damn easy. You’d think there’d be a guard or two around. Or there’d be a boatload of escapes every week.
    Charlotte being attracted to Declan the douche doesn’t play. He’s embarrasing. And I don’t see her as Clarke’s kid. Victoria hates her and I don’t think she’d hate his daughter. It would be more likely Daniel is his kid, given how much Vicky favours him.

    • Anonymous

      Suspend your disbelief.

      My issue was less to do with the breaking in (admin wings are not as necessary to guard like the wings where the kids are–guards cost money paperwork doesn’t make a run for it) and more to do with the “If the warden is party to this, why didn’t she take those files home or shred them?”  Answer:  to advance the plot.

  • Anonymous

    I was a little late to the party on this one. I missed several episodes before I started hearing how much people were loving it. So glad I jumped in so I can enjoy all the delicious, devious fun. Love/hate the Nolan character to bits and was def. more surprised by the abs. Who knew? Declan needs to go away. Like nails on a chalkboard, ugh. Loving Madeline Stowe. 

    Thanks TLo for the recaps. 

    • Anonymous

      Hulu and have back episodes, streaming for free. 

      I don’t even use the TV anymore.  Now I can watch everything after the kiddo is asleep!

  • Anonymous

    Your Frank dialogue is spot on…and hilarious!!!  I’m actually wondering if DANIEL might be Emily (Amanda’s) half brother.  Now THAT would be great.

    • Mary McClelland

      Yeah – WHO is Amanda’s mother? We’ve heard nothing about her!! I think Charlotte is Amanda’s halfsie for sure, but Daniel I think he belongs to Conrad. 

  • Definitely the Abs. I can believe Nolan would be bi much easier than I can believe he would have that six-pack. Love that you two are recapping this show. And I will be sad if this is the end of Frank because (a) the character is fun in a crazy, obsessed kind of way and (b) the actor is truly hot. 

  • Anonymous

    Much like Mad Men, I started watching this show because of you guys. I absolutely love it. And I never even considered that fact that Charlotte and Emily could be related in any way.

  • Oh my god you are recapping Revenge!!!!  I have not seen this current episode so I’ll have to defer till I can on demand it, hopefully tonight.   Yaaaaaaay!  Victoria is my spirit animal…

  • Anonymous

    I love your recaps so I’m happy happy that you are doing Revenge. Last night’s ep was juicy and is agree about Declan. He’s a tool. Jack’s puppy dog eyes do save him a bit though.

  • Anonymous

    I started watching based on your recommendation and I have not been disappointed. Thanks again!

  • Anonymous

    I thought you were going to review Audrey Hepburn’s clothes in the movie ‘Charade.’  Bummer.  She looked lovely in that movie as did Cary Grant. 

  • Anonymous

    I LOVE this show.  

  • Anonymous

    “Taking care” of Frank is NOT leaving his body dumped by a road.  “Taking care ” of Frank is hacking him into bits, abd dumping him into wet cement – otherwise he’s coming back.  

    I am also waiting for Declan’s accent to get a credit during the opening. 

    • Mary McClelland

      Dexter the real Emily Thorne is not! 😉 

  • Anonymous

    I freaking love this show….except that twit Declan.

  • I actually had been wondering if *Daniel* was really the cuckoo, given Victoria’s blatant preference for him, and her exasperation/disdain for Charlotte. As for Nolan – the orientation didn’t surprise me, but taking Tyler up on his offer *did*. Ew. I sure hope he uses that footage for something spectacularly embarrassing.

  • Have loved this show since the beginning…glad you two are recapping it! FUNTIMES!

  • Anonymous

    Love this show!  The fashion is great too!  I love everything Emily wears!  And Nolans abs are beautiful!

  • Anonymous

    Hahahahaha!!  Death by soap opera dialogue!  Brilliant!!  Love this show.  Harkens back to the glory days of Dallas and Dynasty.  

  • I keep thinking of Declan as Eric from Gossip Girl, so that doesn’t help. I like Jack but he is a little boring at the moment. LOVE Nolan. Interesting that he is bi. This show is  awesome.

  • your review is so funny and true! i knew you guys would like this show, please make weekly review

  • just hazarding a guess, but maybe Tyler’s the brother of the waitress that Daniel killed? Whatever it is, the writers are doing a great job at keeping us guessing 🙂

    Thanks TLo for covering this! Bringing more deliciousness to an already tasty series 😀

  • Anonymous

    Love love love Madeleine Stowe! She is amazing. She’s the only thing motivating me to continue watching this show. I hate Emily/ Amanda. I hate her lithp (“Amanda Clarke no longer exithithe.”). And I hate how Nolan (who would be so much interesting on his own) is so much her little lapdog, doing her every bidding. 

    Honestly, I hope Victoria, somehow wins in the end and Emily/ Amanda get exposed and dies.

  • It just keeps getting better, too!  Sometimes soapy shows turn to crap after a few episodes, but not this.  I can’t wait two whole weeks for the next juicy pleasure and I’m not going to feel guilty or apologize for it.

  • Anonymous

    Haha “declan is a douche.”

    I just can’t take him seriously after he spent three years as Serena’s gay brother.

  • Anonymous

    Wait I’m confused. Why would Charlotte be Emily’s half sister?

    • Because Victoria had an affair with Emily’s father 16 years ago.

      • That would make sense about how Victoria said it might have been easier to stop at one kid. 

        And I think that Tyler fed Ashley a pack of more lies. I think he intends to team up with her and use her to his advantage in his “quest.”

        I was not surprised at all at Nolan’s orientation, nor Tyler’s. I noticed how Tyler tried to jump on Daniel after feeding him that roofie, too.

  • oohsparkley!

    It’s so great to have the recaps and comments for this show.  Loving it.  I like Declan because I liked his playing gay little brother on Gossip girl.  His character in this show is obnoxious, but he might be “growing up” a little. 

  • I’m so glad you are doing posts on Revenge. I’m a fan of the show since the pilot.

    Greetings from Poland!

  • Anonymous

    YAY!  I am so glad you are writing about this show.  “Revenge” is absolutely delicious.  I have seen every episode except last week’s more than one time.  I cannot watch for the episode each week and I am distraught that we have to wait 2 weeks for the next episode.  And they have CCH Pounder as the warden, too? Yes.  I love it.

  • Jen McElroy

    LOVE this show. I just rewatched the opening scenes from the pilot and it gets so much better now that you know who everyone is. Glad you dislike Declan as much as me. He is gross, weiney and irritating as hell

  • Not liking the Declan “story”, cliché, stupid, bratty, selfish, boring character, did I mention stupid?  His little accent is verging on guido territory, ugh.  Unfortunately I know he will last for a while but hopefully he’ll get dragged through the gutter in the meantime, but seriously — kill him off.  SERIOUSLY!

    And Nolan’s abs were a freakin’ surprise, I thought too.  I’m actually liking the Tyler character, interested to see where they take his character.

  • Anonymous

    I can’t wait to watch Madeline Stowe’s meltdown, guilt-and-panic-and-paranoria-inspired freakout when she eventually, inevitably finds out that Emily is Amanda.  It will be epic.

    Furious yelling, icy threats or prostrate, begging forgiveness? I hope all three!

  • Anonymous

    Such a great show! The thing that puts this show head and shoulders above Dynasty is while it’s castles are in the sky its foundantions are on the ground. Emily’s actions aren’t taking place in a vaccuum, they have real world consequences. And the show cares enough to give it’s characters layers.

  • Anonymous

    Just caught up! Yay for the internets and On Demand. (No, I don’t have a life. Thanks for asking.)

    Love Nolan and his abs.  He’s the best part of the show.  Kind of wondering if he’s behind the whole thing…I mean, who knows who wrote those journals that HE gave Emily…and every now and then you see the bad ass come through in his tone…hmmm…

    Kind of bored with Declan and the whole Mystic Pizza crew.  Also wondering how Emily and Ashley are such BFFs. Did they meet in speech therapy? They both have the same lisp.  

    But yeah, I’m hooked.  I was avoiding it because Wednesday is already a tough DVR night for me, but I’ll have to figure something out.

  • MilaXX

    Trying to play catch up on this show, but the network doesn’t make it easy. I found the pilot on Episodes 2 & 3 are only available legally on HULU premium. (Uh, no thanks, I already pay for the cable) Looks like episodes 4 to present are available On Demand at least until the 9th when episode 4 will no longer be available. It may be a minute before I can comment on this show.

    • Anonymous

      I was able to watch 1 and 3 on Hulu without premium, but I had to “cheat” for episode 2. The rest I watched on On Demand. They do make it hard!

  • Anonymous

    This is really weird and specific, but my biggest problem with Declan is his voice (not his accent, but that really strange timbre or tone or something. i hate it when he speaks). But now that I do bring up his accent, I don’t understand why his is so hardcore and Jack’s/the father’s is not. Other things: LOVE love love Queen Victoria, fierce Ashley and crazy Nolan (but why was the kiss cut out and the sex scene marginalized). Also, I really want to know more about the Warden and real Emily Thorn but the presence of the latter (and in the promo) is making me really nervous. Also, I’m intrigued by the fact that the first 4 episodes had very specific targets that were wrapped up by the end and now her strategy has gotten a little more “on the fly”/”putting out fires” with the most recent 3 episodes. I absolutely love this show and the pleasure is not guilty at all but I’m really curious as to how it will be able to be written for more than a season or so ie. once time catches up to the opening scene and that drama is resolved (the premise is even more restrictive than that of LOST or Prison Break). 

  • Anonymous

    I caught up on this show over the weekend, my DVR had it saved for me.  I didn’t like it at first. By the last couple episodes I was warming up to it.  

    I must admit that Madeleine Stowe makes this show.  Without her I’d have a hard time keeping interest and probably would have dropped it.  The main character Amanda/Emily *really* annoys me and I find her unlikable, kind of one-dimensional and her background is so unbelievable that it throws me out of the story every time I hear more of it. Even though she opens and closes the show with thoughtful prose, those thoughts never seem to sink in very far to her character. She’s a revenge paper doll in fabulous clothing. Her artfully arranged secret identity depends on her targets being stupid or lacking curiosity. Also she does dumb stuff, like having all her ‘secrets’ conveniently stored in her house where she rifles through them habitually — even though she’s well aware that no where in the Hamptons is private or free from surveillance, apparently. I *really* want them to put Amanda more in the background and just give this show over to Victoria already. 

    The plot redeemed itself with Frank who uncovered her secrets quickly.  I hated that he got attacked because of that — plus he’s easy on the eyes — but I am hoping that in true soapy style we haven’t seen the last of him. 

    I was not surprised by Tyler or Nolan’s sexuality.  I am pleasantly surprised in how it’s being handled within the story though. Nolan’s abs were a happy surprise! 

  • I’m so glad you guys started blogging about this. It’s my favorite new show. I just crave new episodes like I haven’t craved anything in a really long time. I love it so.

    Also, Nolan’s abs. No question!

  • rjeujune

    Why the surprise, TLO? I’ve known from the start that Nolan was probably bisexual or gay. His interactions with Jack always have a kind of edge, or UST… on his side at least.