Loewe Menswear Fashion Show Front Row

Posted on January 23, 2023

The boys (and Naomi) came out for the Loewe fashion show and the brand repaid them by forcing them all into clothes they hate. Evidently.

J Balvin

We’ve been doing this gig for nigh on 17 years now, so believe us when we tell you that this look stopped us dead in our tracks. So many possible descriptions, most of them either offensive or nauseating, flew through our heads. We are overwhelmed by all of the ways we can tell you why this is an utterly horrifying look. Bullet points? A pair of dangling boobs with feet. A Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade float made out of human skin. A pile of used condoms with a head. Captain Foreskin. A bald Muppet. Gumby’s cousin who recently lost a lot of weight. You get the general idea.


Kit Connor

That is a terrible set of things to do to a kid just trying to figure life out.


Manu Ríos

This all looks a whole lot better than it should, although the pretty wearer has a good deal to do with that. We simply can’t stop laughing at the inflatable feet. They’re ridiculous.


Murray Bartlett

The jacket and boots are really cute. The rest looks contractually obligated.


Naomi Campbell

She’s barely bothering and we don’t blame her.



The top is cute. The jeans? So not cute.


Timothée Chalamet

Hahahahaha. No, Timmée. Not even you can make this fashion.


Troye Sivan

Somehow, he manages to look like both the gay kid and the bully in an ’80s teen movie.


Will Sharpe

There is no version of reality where this is a good, stylish, flattering look for him. We feel like the House of Loewe owes the world a serious apology for what they have done to all of these pretty men with fantastic bodies.



[Photo Credit: Courtesy of Loewe, Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images]

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