Look, everyone, look! A red carpet has appeared on the horizon! We celebrate this turn of events and welcome these stars back into our line of fire, but before we get into it we should remind those of you who are rusty on such matters that this will be an example of the absolute worst kind of red carpet – an MTV one. The goal here is not to be stylish but to gain as much attention as possible while sticking to your brand. So you need to prepare yourself before you scroll down. We’re not looking at high fashion here. We’re looking at costumes.
Alicia Keys in Moschino
To be fair, these costumes are all composed of high-label items, so perhaps we should be more precise: We’re looking at fashion as costume and the results tend to be fairly silly or odd from a real-world perspective. Does this massive 400-pound-looking coat make sense with a little crop top? Of course not, but it’s a bold and head-turning statement look nonetheless. The coat is the only item here that appeals to us, though.
Bebe Rexha in Christopher Kane
Class, let’s talk about proportions. This? This is an example of BAD PROPORTIONS. To be fair, the dress design is pretty hideous overall, but the shape and placement of that skirt combined with such a flimsy-looking, low-cut bodice is simply terrible on her. These two queens can usually be talked into praising any look that works a pair of patent leather thigh-highs into it, but not even those could help.
Doja Cat in Givenchy
It’s not our taste by any stretch of the imagination, but we can’t really criticize the design or nitpick how she’s wearing it. It is what it is and as these things go, we’ve seen worse iterations. Those boots look pretty fabulous, but they seem kind of wasted under that skirt, with so much else going on.
Madison Beer in Vivienne Westwood
It was definitely a night for thigh-highs. While we can’t really lend our wholehearted support to the concept of brown satin and don’t consider this among the more interesting offerings from Vivienne Westwood, we can’t deny it’s all working for her.
WOW. And we do NOT mean that in a good way. Talk about hiding the hot. He looks like he works in some sort of old-timey ice cream parlour; the kind of place that has calliope music playing on an 8-hour loop. That vest is hideous and those pants look ridiculous.
Rita Ora in Giambattista Valli
We realize it’s sooooo 2013 to be ragging on Rita Ora, but she has a knack for making everything she’s wearing look a little dated. That had does not go with that dress at all and arguably, neither do the shoes.
There was an attempt.
[Photo Credit: MTV Europe Music Awards]