Kittens, we’re so sorry for what we’re about to inflict on you! Wait, what are we talking about? Don’t blame us, blame the stars, stylists and designers responsible for the following parade of hideosities. And if you’re not caught up, perhaps you’d be better off easing into things by checking out parts one and two of our choices for the worst red carpet looks of the year. Once you’re caught up and you’ve taken a few deep breaths (and perhaps some anti-nausea medication), feel free to proceed.
There’s a very thin line separating “Edgy Chick Who Gives No Shits” and “Depressed and Exhausted Lady.” Please make a note of it.
If your dress turns a woman whose name has become synonymous with statuesque beauty into a Caganer, your dress is a bad dress. She’s standing at her full, glorious height and she looks like she’s popping a squat.
With that out of the way, we usually tend to forgive a lot of the cray that arises when the words “Jennifer,” “Connelly,” “Louis,” and “Vuitton” all appear in the same sentence. She’s one of maybe two or three celebrity women who can actually get away with the worst the house has to offer, but not even she, our Goddess of the Resting Snooty Face, can make this flaming wreck of a frock make sense.
What makes these pictures so great is the serious, cheek-sucking, Vogue-cover posing she’s doing while standing there in a fucked-up nightgown with beer bottle caps glued to it.
Because looking like you were attacked by a flock of small birds is never really going to be chic, Tippi Hedren notwithstanding.
Someone designed this outfit. A bunch of people actually made it. On purpose. We prefer to think that it was created by an algorithm and constructed by a 3d printer with a technical glitch. That way, we still hold onto a little hope for humanity.
Next up: The FIVE WORST LOOKS OF THE YEAR! And YOU get to vote on their order! In the meantime, cleanse your eyes and your soul by scrolling through our list of the BEST red carpet looks here.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages.com]