Sorry, celebrity kittens! Both awards season and the holiday season entertainment promotional pushes are in full swing and these two hard-working red carpet-commentating bitches are just gonna have to shove you all together (most of you, anyway) and get down to some quick n’ dirty driveby judging. Besides, it’s the People’s Choice Awards! It’s not like they really matter.
Brooke Lynn Hytes
Get it gurl. But you know Michelle Visage would tell you to tone down those shoulders.
Cole Sprouse in Berluti
Son, you had us until we got to the bottom.
D’Arcy Carden in Maria Lucia Hohan
We love her and we think she’s gorgeous when she gets out of her Janet drag, but we also think she could use some help maximizing her red carpet potential, so to speak. This is good, but not great, which is of a piece with a lot of her promo style.
Gwen Stefani in Vera Wang Bridal
You can’t fault her for lacking drama. This feels very on-point in her patented rock-and-roll romantic kind of way. We don’t love the design of the dress, but she’s got it perfectly styled for maximum impact.
Joey King in The Attico
Karen Gillan in Viktor & Rolf Bridal
It’s like if one of the anthropomorphized household items in the Beauty and the Beast “Be Our Guest” number was a sexy Scottish bed ruffle.
Kelly Rowland in Iris Van Herpen Couture
Iris Van Herpen isn’t the first designer to come to mind when we think of sexy, slinky dresses, but somehow Miss Kelly found one and it looks great on her.
KJ Apa in Ermenegildo Zegna XXX
God bless these Gen Z dudes and their love of pink suits. We’re not sure about the cut, the boots, or even the shirt, but we do love the choice.
Kris Jenner (in Alexander McQueen), Kourtney Kardashian (in Naeem Khan),
Khloe Kardashian (LaQuan Smith) and Kim Kardashian West (in Versace)
If you told us that seconds after this picture was taken, they tipped over to reveal themselves as one cardboard cutout of the whole clan, we’d have every reason to believe it. They are all doing that family thing of being completely artificial in their smooshed-together posing while at the same time being completely removed from acknowledging each other. It’s such a weird thing. Kris is surprisingly low-key and Kim is surprisingly tasteful.
Sarah Hyland in Fausto Puglisi
Someone had her cheeks did.
That dress is so tacky we almost convinced ourselves it works, but we can’t handle the combination of that eye-searing orange, the weird strap across the bust, and the palm trees on each hip.
Storm Reid in Iris Van Herpen Couture
SERVE IT SPACE PRINCESS.
All the love in the world for this out-there lewk.
[Photo Credit: Sara De Boer/Startraksphoto.com]