Darlings, after an epic red carpet drought this summer, things are actually looking up! This is the richest, most well-populated string of mediocrities we’ve hosted in WEEKS! Quick! Put yer judgin’ pants on!
No complaints here.
This is a welcome step in the right style direction for her. Perhaps a bit more twee than we’d like, and still with a rigidly consistent need to show as much of her chest as possible, but it’s at least a cute look with a little sass to it, which is more than you can say about a lot of her tacky cocktail napkin-sized dresses of late.
Dull but serviceable.
Billie Piper in Erdem
We could have accepted either the bow or the lace hem, but never both at the same time. Oh, who are we kidding? We’d never sign off ont hat hem.
Also no complaints. Look, what do you want us to say? He’s a movie star in a tux. He looks like that. Kinda hard to get any of it wrong.
Catherine Deneuve in Jean Paul Gaultier Couture
It’s crazy but we love it.
Gabrielle Union in RXCH
Far be it for us to tell a lady how to express her love, but wearing your husband’s face all over your dress for a professional event is just … well, it’s a choice, is what it is.
Plaid pantsuits can be tricky. They can so easily go “middle school teacher 1978,” which is kind of what’s happening here.
Joey King in Emilia Wickstead
It’s a crop top-and-big-pant kind of week, which means she’s very much on trend. It’s also surprisingly cute on her.
Julianne Hough in Julien Macdonald
Juliette Binoche in Armani Privé
Yuck to the wet head. The dress is interesting but it’s awfully busty.
Kate Upton in Pleasedontbuy by Twinset
Simple but flawless.
Miss Kristen packed some extra looks for the D23 Expo! The first one’s just okay, but we’re actually surprised by how much we like the pink one. Yes, even the big satin pants.
Mel B in Manila Grace
It’s just okay. We expect a certain level of glitz and tacky from her, but a sequined leopard print feels like she’s not even trying.
Mena Suvari in Amur
Again, we can’t believe we’re praising something so shiny and satin, but it’s so dramatic and well-suited to her
Well, at least we can complain about the grooming, which is terrible. Tsk, pretty boy. Tsk.
Everything’s just a skosh too long, which is a shame, because it’s flawless otherwise.
Sophia Lillis in Prada
Cute idea, but the neckline and waistline in combination are kind of terrible from a proportional perspective.
[Photo Credit: INSTARimages.com, The Walt Disney Company/Image Group LA, Aaron Poole/E! Entertainment]