Darlings, we’re just counting the days until Labor Day. Not necessarily out of solidarity to the American Worker, but because the cultcha swings back into high gear come the fall season, and we won’t all be treated to such depressingly thin red carpet offerings. Just a few more weeks and the Emmys poledancing will be in full swing, kittens. Hold out! We know you can do it! Until then, here’s this week’s mediocrities:
Adam Brody and Leighton Meester (in Michael Kors Collection)
Not to be total bitches or anything, but you two don’t exactly get to walk red carpets on the regular anymore. We’d have thought you’d both put just a skosh more effort into things. He’s fine, but the suit is dull and the styling sloppy. We can’t honestly say we dislike her dress, but we don’t think it photographs all that well. Too shiny and mumsy.
Andie MacDowell in Markarian
That’s a pretty great textile on her, but that neckline is horrifying and ribbon ankle straps are absolutely not a thing you wear with a fitted, slitted tea length skirt.
Gerard Butler
We saw him at a party about a ten years ago. He glowed. People of all genders and orientations seemed to naturally flock to him. Just a naturally good-looking man at a level far above most of his peers. We have never seen this quality come across in pictures. Seriously. Anyway, this suit is boring.
Jared Harris
Love this man, but we think he can do so much better on the style front.
Judith Light in Zac Posen
Your girl knows how to werq and pose.
Kate Upton in Tadashi Shoji
Honestly, it’s way too nice for this venue. Not that we think Andy’s little chat show doesn’t call for serving lewks, but this would have been better served being spotlighted on Jimmy Kimmel’s or Seth Meyers’ or Jimmy Fallon’s set. It’s needs space to breathe and Hollywood lighting. She looks great.
Matt Bomer
Resting on pretty.
Megan Fox in Olivier Theyskens
It looks way too Vegas Hostess.
Tamzin Merchant in HassIdriss
We will not pull out our tired and many-times-used “period costume” joke. No, kittens. We won’t. Especially since the effect here is less body-based and more of a seemingly deliberate “walking through streets of blood” kind of Horror Chic, which seems to be fairly on point for the venue. If nothing else, it turned heads and got her picture taken. Points for being bold and even a little gross about it.
Tatiana Maslany
Bless her heart.
[Photo Credit: INSTARimages, Sushi/PRPhotos.com, David Gabber/PRPhotos.com, Charles Sykes/Bravo]
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