We are on our fourth straight (you’ll pardon the term) day of Met Gala red carpet commentary and we’re to tell you we are absolutely SICK TO DEATH of talking about camp! Instead, let’s take a short break from all that and yell at those lame-os who showed up for the ultimate red carpet event of the year in some of the most boring and NON-campy ensembles they could have chosen. Come and sneer with us.
Alexander Skarsgård in Burberry
A totally generic tuxedo. You couldn’t even slap on a sequined bow tie or go for a little color somewhere? Feh.
Chloë Moretz in Louis Vuitton
Cute dress. If we ruled the world, anyone showing up at the Met Gala in a cute dress would be arrested.
Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton
As we said on the twitters when she stepped out in this, if you’re at the Met Gala looking like you’re there to pick up your SAG Award, you’re doing it wrong.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Chloé
Well, she looks comfy at least. More accurately: she looks ready for bed.
Justin Theroux in Louis Vuitton
Go home, dude. And scrub that inch-thick layer of bronzer off your skin.
Rami Malek in Saint Laurent
Credit for the boots. The ensemble’s nice – in fact, most of these outfits qualify as “nice” for a normal red carpet – but it’s just so generic.
Richard Madden in Dior Homme
Notice how the same names keep popping up? Lots of Dior and Vuitton on this list. Sorry Richard, but your Star Trek boots do not make this look Met Gala worthy, let alone camp.
Ruth Wilson in Oscar de la Renta
Save the pretty dresses for your next premiere. We’re looking for drama here.
Shawn Mendes in Saint Laurent
This, for him, is shockingly and scarily avant-garde. We’re sure he needed a Valium just to get out of the limo. Yes, we’re bitches. It’s a nice suit. We hate nice at the Met Gala.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]