Listen to us now and believe us later: our opinion tanks are TAPPED THE HELL OUT after the tsunami of red carpetry that hit us in the last ten days or so. Nevertheless, with such an enormous backlog of looks left unjudged by us, we will do our best to blurt out as few syllables as possible on each of the following attempts at getting our attention. Shall we, then?
Alison Brie in Dundas
Fallon Carrington Colby had a rough night.
Brandon Victor Nixon
Love the suit. Appreciate what he’s going for with the scarf, but it’s just not happening for us.
Claire Foy in Derek Lam
Like a great deal of her promo style: acceptable. This really isn’t going to cut it for the new Lisbeth Salander. Noomi and Rooney threw down a gauntlet, woman. Pick it up.
Darren Criss in Dior Homme
Currently the gayest-dressing straight man in showbiz. We salute you, sir.
Gabrielle Union in Erdem
Everything from the knees up is great. Get this hemmed, lady.
Heidi Klum in Alice + Olivia
LOVE the skirt and sandals. She can handle that much animal print at once, but we wouldn’t recommend for non-models. Or maybe just non-Heidis.
Cute and professional and put together.
Jenna Dewan in Galvan
We feel like we’re being attacked by a lot of pink at once.
Julia Garner in Sonia Rykiel
We will never love the “it’s a sheer dress over another dress” dress.
She looks like she’s auditioning for a Hocus Pocus reboot.
Kristen Stewart in Chanel
She’s got the model-like bearing to make the plainest stuff look drop-dead chic. She almost had us there for a minute.
Laverne Cox in Michael Costello
Well that certainly ended unexpectedly.
Riley Keough in Louis Vuitton
Going out in sexy lingerie? We understand the impulse. We’ll never call it chic, but we get the thinking behind it. Going out in hideously ugly lingerie? No, that will never make any sort of sense.
Cute, but those kicks are really weird-looking.
More judgment to come in Part TWO!
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]