Jessica Simpson Out and About in Gucci in NYC

Posted on August 03, 2018

SWEET JESUS ON A BREADSTICK WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

 

 

When we covered her the other day, we admitted she was not someone who’d remained on our radar once she eschewed normal celebrity to become an enterpreneur (and also because we never found her remotely interesting, from either a celebrity or style perspective). But now we’re starting to wonder if we haven’t done her – and the world – a huge disservice by not bestowing more of our loving judgment and unasked-for advice upon her. Girlfriend CLEARLY needs it. Once again, she’s bogged down in some fairly high-end labels, all of which she’s managed to make look like pickings from a clearance bin.

Skipping past the “How does she make expensive things look so cheap?” question (or perhaps partially answering it), we’re struck by how aggressively bad the item-matching skills are. A purple jacket could conceivably be worn over that dress, but that’s the wrong shape and textile to pair with a floaty mini. The boots and bag sort of go together, in that they’re both in the brown family and both HELLACIOUSLY tacky, but they have nothing at all to do with that dress or jacket; not the style or the color story.

We have to hand it to her, after a decade of chronicling celebrity style foibles, we’re a bit taken aback by just how bad she is at this sort of thing. It takes a lot to surprise jaded old bitches like us, but we always wrote her off as a bit honky-tonk in her style, but nothing worth getting worked up over. WELL WE’RE WORKED UP NOW, MISSY. THANKS A LOT.

And now, we’re off to the T Lo Eyewash Station, which we had installed for moments like these.

 

 

Style Credits:
Gucci Peaked Lapel Blazer
Iro Silk Floral Print Dress
Cartier Panthère de Cartier Ring
Chloé Carlina Round Wire Sunglasses in Rose Gold

[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]

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