There is nothing we love more than lining these three ladies up when they’re in full promo mode and trying to decide which one brought the greatest amount of cray to the proceedings.
We’re lying, of course. There are millions of things we love to do more than that. Even so, they all provide great fun when they’re doing the job they were all born to do: Get people to pay attention to them.
And yet, what’s this? Could it be that there has been a collective toning down? We find all three of these looks to be … well, not quite tasteful necessarily. But not quite clown clothes either – and that’s not nothing.
Heidi Klum in Zuhair Murad Couture
To be fair, that introduction probably didn’t prepare you properly for a fringed pantsuit. For that we make no apology because it’s honestly the most interesting element you’re gonna find on this page. It’s tacky as shit, of course, but Heidi’s the lady who knows how to make something like this seem fun and relatively tasteful. She is, after all, the queen of Short, Tight, and Shiny.
And this, of course, is not to be considered chic or elegant in style or tone. It’s equally if not more tacky than Miss Heidi’s Vegas Hillary getup. The difference is that this is generically tacky. You could find a version of this at any shitty discount dress shop chain. We expect better from a former Spice.
And finally, there’s Miss Tyra, who more or less came in drag:
Tyra Banks in Stello
And we have to say, wonky boob fit aside, she can’t be beat on pure high-impact terms. She almost came away with the win on this one, just for being the most photogenic and the closest any of them got to classy. But we think we’re gonna have to give it to The Heidster, who brought something fun and different to the proceedings.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages, Trae Patton/NBC]