Miss Sandy, it appears we are going to need to have a word or two with you. It’s about the jumpsuits, dear.
You see, when you wore the bright green off-the-shoulder jumpsuit to the Ocean’s 8 photo call, we were all “It’s bold! It’s unexpected! Attagirl, Sandy!” We were trying to be supportive. We wanted to give you positive reinforcement so you would be encouraged to make more bold choices and not spend this poledance in a bunch of boring metallic sheaths, like you normally do. It appears, however, that our approach was mistaken. We’d hoped to send a “Make more bold style decisions! You go, girl!” kind of message, but apparently you heard “Wear more weird and slightly unflattering jumpsuits, girl!”
In other words, we are refusing to sign off on this one. Call us fickle bitches if you must, but the Gumby pantsuit was bright and unexpected. The proportions on this one are simply awful:
The waist is too high, the hips are too roomy and the plunging, squared-off neckline makes her bust look like it’s sitting much lower than it is. We appreciate the color and the sparkle, but the shape and proportions are awful on her. It seems she sticks with sheaths so much because she doesn’t know which shapes and elements work for her body.
Temperley London ‘Heart Charm‘ Jumpsuit from the Spring 2018 Collection
Stuart Weitzman ‘Nudistsong’ Black Nappa Sandals
[Photo Credit: ABC/Randy Holmes, farfetch.com – Video Credit: Jimmy Kimmel Live via YouTube.com]