Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilia Wickstead at Frédérique Constant’s New Watch Collection Launch

Posted on June 22, 2018

Darlings, as world-famous fashion bloggers, tastemakers and entertainers, we feel it is our responsibility to the children of the world that we offer our virulently negative fashion opinions in as genteel and erudite a manner as possible, so as not to foster bad karma or to promote negativity in the universe. It’s the very least we can do. So when Miss Gwyneth stepped into the judging circle wearing … the thing you are about to see more of, we did our very best to temper our words and offer positive, life-affirming, constructive criticism. Then we realized she doesn’t give a shit what we think, so here are our verbatim, raw, unfiltered reactions to this look:

“JESUS THAT’S HIDEOUS.”

 

“She sure did make that bedsheet look frumpy as hell, didn’t she?”

“THAT PRINT LOOKS LIKE DOLLAR STORE GUEST TOWELS YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT.”

 

“I can’t believe how badly it goes with the watch, which is the WHOLE POINT of her even being there.”

 

“IS SHE GOING TO SHOOT ARROWS OR SOMETHING?”

 

“Yeah, the sleeve situation is weird. You’d think –“

 

“MY EYES ARE WATERING IN SADNESS AND IMPOTENT RAGE.”

 

Style Credits:
Emilia Wickstead Floral Print One-shoulder Dress from the Resort 2019 Collection
Frédérique Constant Watch
Jimmy Choo Sandals

Styled by Elizabeth Saltzman

[Photo Credit: INSTARImages, Courtesy of Emilia Wickstead]

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