We’ve already plowed through part one, kittens! Let’s not lose our momentum now, especially since there’s a whole DIFFERENT set of leftovers still in the pipeline. Yes, it’s time to completely clean out the last of this week’s Cannes folders. So put your judgin’ jockstrap on and let’s get to work, darlings. This fashion isn’t going to judge itself.
Amber Heard in Giambattista Valli Couture
It’s all a bit much. We think the dress could work if you removed the bows. We’re not at all sure about the booties, but at the very least, they deserve to be paired with pants for a fighting chance.
Ava DuVernay in Cushnie et Ochs
Love how this looks like it could be worn to the 1942 Academy Awards. That stripped-bare retro thing really works for her. It’s too tight in the bust, unforch.
Chloë Sevigny in Chanel
Another dress that could be vastly improved by the removal of a bow. This is so Barbie-romantic in tone that we think her New York socialite hair is a pretty big mistake. She should have really leaned into this one and blown her hair out.
Diane Kruger in Armani Privé
Themysciran formalwear. Kinda fabulous.
Heidi Klum in Zuhair Murad bridal
It just barely makes it over the line from “bridal,” but only because it’s way more glamorous and dramatic than the average wedding gown.
Jane Fonda in Valentino
We thought this was kind of appealing, if only for being sort of relaxed and comfortable for her. She’s to be commended for all the effort she puts into her red carpetry, but there are times when it comes off pretty exhausting for her. This is like a comfy couture blanket.
Kendall Jenner in Schiaparelli
She’s all about her nipples this week. To be fair, this is a pretty high-fashion fabulous look.
Kristen Stewart in Chanel
So many brides at Cannes this year! What’s THAT all about? The dress is nice, if highly conventional. We’re not really sure about the shoes, though.
Milla Jovovich in Chanel
Pretty enough in a Bronze Age sort of way, but it sure didn’t need that second band.
Salma Hayek in Gucci
She’s been wearing a lot of pale blue lately. No reason to note that except its consistency. Girlfriend’s just feeling that color at the moment. We can relate. Sometimes your mood comes out in your color choices, whether you realize it or not. Anyway, it’s a good thing this is blue. Otherwise, we’d have to come up with another bride caption.
Sofia Boutella in Emilia Wickstead
DIE, SHEER DRESS TREND, DIE.
Sonam Kapoor in Vera Wang Bridal
Absolutely HATE the color store here, but there’s no doubt Miss Sonam is bringing the Drama Butter.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]