Oscars 2018 Red Carpet Report: Gentlemen, Start Your Engines

Posted on March 05, 2018

And now, let’s turn our attention away from the world of gowns and sparkle, to a world of ties and conformity. Yes, it’s time to check the gents – and we don’t mean the lavatory.

Because formal red carpet menswear is so deadly dull and conformist (certain kings, queens and princes notwithstanding), this judging sesh will be brief, but we’ll try to make it as painful as possible.

What? We’re just saying. You’d hate us if we gave them all a free pass, no?


Armie Hammer in Giorgio Armani

Well, there goes our chance to show what tough bitches we are. We have nothing but praise. He’s Armie, so something fun and fabulous was to be expected, but even we sighed with delight over the sight of him in a Valentine’s red velvet tuxedo.


Common in Giorgio Armani

No complaints here. Love the subtle dark gray of the tux contrasting with the lapel.


Daniel Kaluuya in Brunello Cucinelli

Poor guy has yet to reap the benefit of a pair of dress pants cut specifically for him, but we loved the unusual color of the jacket.


Darrell Britt-Gibson

We really want to love this, if for no other reason than the pink jacket, but the proportions are simply horrible and the shoes look cheap.


Gael García Bernal

His shirt sleeves are way too long and his footwear doesn’t look formal enough but he’s just so darn cute, isn’t he?


Lin-Manuel Miranda

The jacket is a teeeeny bit snug, but this is a great look.


Mahershala Ali in Berluti

Everything looks impeccable, but we can’t quite tell what’s going on at the neck. Is that a bi-color collar or is he wearing two shirts? This is a good excuse for you to blow up and stare at this picture for as long as you like.


Matthew McConaughey in Brioni

The red tie is a bit too ’80s for us and we wish he’d button the damn jacket (something he never does for pictures and it drives us nuts), but this is pretty great.


Tom Holland in Hermès

LOVE. That cut of jacket is nearly impossible for any grown man to pull off, but he has the exact right proportions for it. It’s not easy to find a way to make a basic black tux look unique, but his team snagged him the perfect one for him.


Winston Duke in Etro

Okay, fine. This post did not serve up the hard bitchy judgment we wanted to. He looks RIDICULOUSLY fine here. The hair and beard grooming is perfection and the scarf is regal and chic.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]

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