Kittens, after 48 straight hours of talking about the Oscars red carpet, IT’S TIME FOR US TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THE OSCARS RED CARPET, WOULDN’T YOU SAY?
Besides, we have so many after-party looks to get to, and in the time we’ve spent running down all these gowns and tuxes, the celebrity poledance machine grinds ever one. In other words, there’s a whole bunch of other red carpetry backed up in the pipeline, so it’s time to send these lovely folks on their way.
Andra Day in Zac Posen
We couldn’t believe this was Zac Posen, since his red carpet fare tends to be sleeker than this, but we absolutely loved this look on her. That ridiculously luxe, almost drag version of romance is particularly well-suited to her.
Jane Fonda in Balmain
There were some strong white gowns on the red carpet that night, but Miss Jane served up the strongest.
Janet Mock in Christian Siriano
Miss Janet didn’t too bad on that front either, but any time you add a train to a white gown, it can’t help looking bridal.
Jennifer Lawrence in Christian Dior
No complaints here. She’s well suited to gold metallics, and while she’s on a promo tour for Red Sparrow right now, she did a good job of not selling things too hard. It’s pure movie star, but also has that not-a-nominee lack of attention-seeking which can come off admirably professional to her peers.
Jordan Peele in Calvin Klein
We didn’t want to step all over his moment when he won, but as he was giving his speech, we almost tweeted “When did Jordan Peele get so hot?” He looks fantastic. Pants a skosh too long, though.
Kelly Ripa in Christian Siriano
Girlfriend was all over Seacrest on the red carpet, trying WAY too hard to bolster his spirits while it all fell apart. It was not what we’d consider a shining moment for her, but we can’t say she didn’t look gorgeous. Well done, Christian.
Kumail Nanjiani in Ermenegildo Zegna Couture and Emily V. Gordon in J. Mendel
Adorable as always, and on point. We love the red sash at her waist, even if it looks like it needs a bit of zhuzhing.
Lesley Manville in Anna Valentine
We wanted to like this, but the main part of the dress looks like a rug (which makes her part of a trend for the night). That’s not the dealbreaker, though. It’s those goofy-as-hell sleeves. Honey, no.
Lindsey Vonn in Christian Siriano
Christian really tailored each of the looks he put out that night (a whopping SEVENTEEN) to the woman wearing them. We can’t say we love this, because the sheer panels take it to a showgirl sort of vibe, but this strikes us as very much what she wanted for herself.
Paz Vega in Christophr Bu
This dress looks like a math problem.
Sandra Bullock in Louis Vuitton
Totally in that Sandy mode. She rarely breaks away from sleek neutral metallics. While we can’t say this looks bad on her, it sure doesn’t look fresh. She better step up her game for the Oceans 8 promo tour. She’ll be sharing those red carpets with Cate Blanchett, Rihanna and Sarah Paulson.
We just got a shiver reading that back.
Taraji P. Henson in Vera Wang
There weren’t too many black gowns on this red carpet. Plenty of ladies broke them out for the after-parties, but it looked like a lot of them didn’t want to be stuck in them for the main event. This could’ve been great, but the stick-ons needed to be black, Miss T.
Whoopi Goldberg in Christian Siriano
Again, look at how far Christian was willing to go for each of his clients. This fabric is absolutely gorgeous. While this style is way over-the-top (and truth be told, a bit old-fashioned), we think this is the best Whoopi’s ever looked on a formal red carpet. The bodice is a bit overdone, though.
She looks great with gray hair.
Zoey Deutch in Elie Saab Couture
We always know we’ve reached the end of any rundown if we’re at the Zoey, Zoë or Zooey pics. It’s a solid look, serving movie star glam without being too much, because she’s very much not into “too much,” so far as we’ve seen. She looks great, though. The hair is killer.
And with that, we put the main event to bed so we can go judge our way through the after-parties. Stay tuned! Or… connected! What is the term here?
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]