We don’t know if there was a literal promo style directive worded along the lines of “SERVE IT UP LOUD, LADIES,” or whether said ladies just naturally indulged their propensity to, well, serve it up loud on the regular.
What we’re trying to say here is: Savvy, promo-oriented, look-at-me tacky style or just plain ol’ tacky style? YOU get to —
No, wait. We’ll make the call on this one. It’s not like we’re torn on the matter.
Miss Mel is serving good, old-fashion tackiness. It’s who she is. We know this for two reasons; first, because her red carpet C.V. indicates such, and second, because this ridiculous thing is being held up (and presumably together) by the heaviest, most tackily visible illusion sheer you’ll ever see. Nothing says tacky like an armpit seam disguised to look like skin. If your dress is so tiny and skimpy that you need magic tricks just to keep it on? Girl, that’s tacky.
Miss Heidi, while flashy in that way we’ve come to expect and love, is not serving up tacky here. We wouldn’t really call the look chic, but then again, it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to look great on camera, get a ton of pictures taken, and smoke Mel and Tyra right off that red carpet. Done, done and done. Without even breaking a sweat.
In shape and style, we wouldn’t have called this tacky at all; just a little basic. But when you get in closer and take in the fact that the dress is leather with a python finish, or that she’s wearing forty pounds of hardware around her neck so generic it looks like she bought it by the yard, or that she’s serving up a hair souffle with a mullet, or that her shoes are just way too extra given everything else that’s going on … well. The tacky just tends to overwhelm one after a while.
Miss Heidi wins this one by being flashy as all hell while not stepping over into any tragic errors. She’s a pro.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]
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