Kittens, let’s wrap up the week’s red carpetry by offering driveby judgments on all the looks that failed to rate a second look. It’s good for the skin.
Angela Bassett in Mario Dice
We have no problem with this. On someone else, those pants might come off more like workout gear, but she’s got it styled well.
Anika Noni Rose in Jovani
Not much to complain about here, either. We just hate the hem.
Aubrey Plaza in 3.1 Philip Lim
She looks like she spilled coffee on herself and that’s a crazy sweater.
Ava DuVernay in Prada
The dress is a little precious, but she can handle that. It’s the tights/footwear that lets the look down. We think the teal shoes might work, but only without the tights.
Go home, Cheyenne.
We just don’t know what to do with a Chloe working nothing more than a basic LBD. She looks pretty great, even if it is too generic for her.
Darby Stanchfield in Magda Butrym
Can’t fault it for lack of drama.
He looks like he’s handing out religious pamphlets door to door.
Kaley Cuoco in Bibhu Mohapatra
Surprisingly glam and non-goofy.
Kate Bosworth in Christopher Kane
This would appear to be the week when everyone toned down their more cray style impulses.
Katherine McPhee in David Koma
Not bad, but a ruffled slit with piping is asking a bit too much.
Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys
He looks okay, but bland. She looks not okay and a little bit crazy.
Fabulous in a “Drag Queens at Brunch” kind of way.
How did you manage to screw up such a basic look, girl?
We realize SXSW isn’t a dressy affair, but if you’re doing press…
Penélope Cruz in Chanel
If Chanel offers you a free dress for the night, pray you haven’t pissed off Uncle Karl or he’ll send you out in a shower curtain.
Does the job, we suppose. It looks like it’s being weighed down by all that beading, though.
Back away from the time-traveling crazy man, everyone.
Zoey Deutch in Prada
Pretty enough dress, but the sandals are hideous.
And with that bit o’bitchery, we conclude our red carpet reportage for the week. Bar’s that way, girls.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]