Kittens, we have a metric shit-tonne of left-over red carpetry to plow through before we can all put this week to bed and hit the bar or the pool or the bar with a pool in it.
Put your judgin’ bra on and let’s get to it, girls. Time’s a-wasting.
Alexandre Daddario in Cushnie et Ochs
We were about to call this a really great color, but that’s not right. It’s kind of an awful color that happens to look really great on her. The bustline looks annoying to wear and the shoes take it somewhere in the vicinity of bridal party.
Anya Taylor-Joy in Dolce&Gabbana
We laughed. Something about the boldness of wearing a crown in public at the same time you’re showing off your panties is hilariously appealing and on point in a “bring a bit of the dolce vita to a Dolce & Gabbana look” sort of way.
Cardi B in Bryan Hearns
It’s standard fetishwear with half a set of tails stapled to it, basically. We don’t mind the sexiness or even a good take on trashy glam, but this is kind of dull and basic.
Ugh. The turtleneck. We know most of you don’t understand our rage, but it’s the fashion equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to us.
He’s fine. We’re fine. Everyone’s fine.
But oof, those clingy, nipply types of neck condoms are the absolute worst.
It’s a watch-modeler’s uniform, essentially.
Emily Mortimer in Novis
It’s a very basic design with one element that stands out and it happens to be the type of element we hate – a big ol’ body bow – but she must be the right lady for this look, because it’s working for us.
Greta Gerwig in Chanel
She went from serving up classic ’60s Goldie Hawn earlier in the week to this, classic ’60s Phyllis Diller.
It’s rather low-key, but this is her directorial debut, so it’s fine if she wants to keep the look slightly more professional in tone. We realize that’s an odd thing to say about a body con white dress with one strap, but really, in this realm, that’s downright somber.
We think we used to find this schtick charming, but it really is kind of silly, isn’t it? We support any man who wants to dress with a little flair, but this is fairly close to Hobbit cosplay. You get to wear a vest, or a jaunty scarf, or boots outside the pants, Jeremy. Pick one, because all three at once is way too much.
Gets the job done and serves up a bold print for the cameras. It’s not drop-dead fabulous or anything, but it’s fine.
The print looks fun, but the finishing seems off. She’s not herself lately.
Michelle Monaghan in Carolina Herrera
It’s Carolina cosplay and we don’t mind it a bit. It’s a classically chic look that should live on. And it’s great for her, because she usually makes terrible style choices.
Nikki Reed in Veronica Beard
Some day the pajama trend will die, darlings. We know it seems hopelessly far away, but hold fast to your hope and think of better, brighter, less sloppy days to come.
Not exactly the kind of red carpet that calls for fierce, high-fashion looks. Her usual tactic of showing up like the prettiest middle school teacher in the district actually works pretty well here.
More to come, restless ones!
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]