Kittens, it’s Saturday and we’re working, which can only mean one thing: The previous week left our cups so overflowing with content and unexpressed opinions that we simply had to rouse ourselves from our divans, wrap our caftans firmly around ourselves, put down our wine glasses, turn to the imaginary cameras that follow us everywhere and offer our thoughts on a large selection of the attendees of Thursday night’s Critics’ Choice Awards.
Who the hell schedules an awards show for Thursday? Good-for-nothing, weekend-ruining bitches, that’s who.
Alexis Bledel in Rasario
It’s simple but borderline pretty. It doesn’t quite get there because the color-blocked bust is odd and the sash is sad. Sweet footwear, though.
Alison Brie in Roberto Cavalli
Why Miss Allison. Look at you, getting all fashion-y and stuff. We’re not feeling the shoes with it, but we like the dress design. It just needs to be in a color that doesn’t make her look like a mummy.
Allison Janney in Michael Cinco
She absolutely knows she looks bangin’.
Allison Williams in Dolce&Gabbana
Yuck. Girl, you didn’t design this hideosity. That blame can be laid squarely at the no-doubt well-shod feet of Stefano and Dominico. You did, however, pick this to wear in public and we feel comfortable judging you for that.
Carrie Coon in Reem Acra
We keep trying to like this but the fact remains that the graphic elements are distracting, oddly placed, and distort the lines of her body. Everything above the neck is gorgeous, though.
Emilia Clarke in Dolce&Gabbana
Can’t really argue with any of this.
Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani
Emma Roberts (in Giorgio Armani) and Evan Peters
Wedding cake toppers.
Gal Gadot in Prada
WERQ, AMAZON PRINCESS.
LOVING this. Her red carpet style is better now than when she was promoting Wonder Woman or Justice League. She’s on a mission to snag this film some Oscar noms.
Heidi Klum in Georges Hobeika Couture
It’s very Heidi.
You may take that sentence however you wish.
It’s very Holly. And in this case, we mean it entirely as a compliment. Her signature look for decades now has been sleek, body-hugging, sleeveless looks. Maybe she could’ve used some statement jewelry to dress this up more, but we can’t deny she looks great.
Jessica Biel in Oscar de la Renta
We rarely pay her anything but backhanded compliments, but in this case, we see no need. She looks gorgeous. It’s an interesting dress and the head-styling is flawless.
Laura Dern in Balmain
LOVE this one her. It’s so well-suited to her. She really needs to make jumpsuits a bit more of a wardrobe staple. Not many are built perfectly for them, but she’s one.
Mary J. Blige in Vivienne Westwood Couture
Pure, mainline DIVA.
Niecy Nash in Badgley Mischka
Exceedingly rare to see tropical-inspired prints on the RC – especially at this time of year. This looks great, though. It stands out for being different and for displaying her signature need for stunning, head-turning fit.
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji
Her man came through again.
Olivia Munn in Prada
It’s pretty enough, but her bust looks a bit too much like a chandelier.
Reese Witherspoon in Prada
Cute dress, but Miss Reese, you and we all know why you body-con looks are your go-to. This isn’t awful, but the silhouette is simply not great on her.
WERQ that jacket, Rita.
Samira Wiley in Rebecca Vallance
Not a thing out of place, as far as we can see.
Sarah Hyland in Naeem Khan
It’s as literal as this style gets and more than a bit of a cliche, but we see no reason why any gal shouldn’t get her Swan Lake on now and then if she feels like it. She looks lovely.
Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen (in Cédric Charlier)
What a gorgeous couple.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]