Miss Universe National Costumes 2017 Part Two: She Came with Props!

Posted on November 28, 2017

Darlings, part one of our yearly rundown of this drag revue can be found here. For part two, we’re going to do what the title indicates and take a look at those ladies who felt they needed a little extra something to carry around with her onstage.

Ladies, show us what you got. Literally.

 

 

Miss Sweden

“… and that is how our most famous folk tale, ‘The Runway Model and the IKEA Tchotchke,’ ends – sadly, tragically, and soaked in blood. Thank you.”

 

 

Miss Cambodia

“As you can see, the history of Cambodia is represented in my costume and bearing. Cambodia is about balance, as you can see by my massive stripper heels, which do nothing to impede my natural Cambodian grace. Cambodia is about richness and texture and scents and colors, as you can see by our table runners and elaborate dusting equipment.”

 

 

Miss India

“They made me carry an urn! Isn’t that hilarious? I mean, the star-flower thing is okay, I guess, but what’s with the pottery, right?”

 

 

Miss Turkey

“It’s true! In Turkey, we store our scarves in pitchers! No one knows why! It’s tradition! Like ugly dresses!”

 

 

Miss Israel

“Israel! Where Gal Gadot comes from! I’m not her and we’re not legally allowed to use a Wonder Woman costume, but you get the idea, right?”

 
 

Miss Honduras

“Girl, your shield is full of holes. Honduras is not impressed. Now stand back and watch me launch the famous Honduran Volley of Sequins at you.”

 

 

Miss France

“En garde! France stands ready, in panties, heels and knee-highs, to defend the rights of our glittery shield-sisters! Liberté, égalité, sparklé!”

 

 

Miss Iceland

“The Ice-Warrior Death Cult Maidens of Iceland will wait for this little tussle to end so we can swoop in, disembowel the survivors, and make hats of their skulls.”

 

 

Miss El Salvador

“Yikes. That’s El Salvador’s cue to row her little boat the fuck outta here. Things are getting a bit intense at this end of the stage.”

 

 

Miss Argentina

“Look! Over here! At Argentina! We invented street lamps!

Shut up! Yes we did!”

 
 

Miss Panama

“I love futbol so much my shoulders just came.”

 

 

Miss Mauritius

“Mauritius is the world’s number one producer of roadside tourist trap decorative wall plates. We’re sorry for your grandma’s den.”

 

 

Miss Mexico

“I’m paying tribute to Mexico’s pride, Frida Kahlo, a  flirty size two who liked to show her panties a lot. She also painted!”

 

 

Miss Thailand

“Ohmigod, enough with these amateurs and their knick-knacks. Did any of you hand models bring a whole entire person on stage with you? This is Danitra. She’s real and she’s my friend. She thinks you guys suck.”

 

 

Miss Myanmar

“ALL Y’ALL HOS NEED TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN WITH YOUR PLATES AND YOUR PUPPETS AND YOUR LITTLE SHIELDS. MYANMAR BROUGHT HER OWN DAMN STAGE.”

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Patrick Prather/Miss Universe, Frank L Szelwach/Miss Universe]

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