Johnny Depp Strips Himself Bare for the “Murder on the Orient Express” World Premiere

Posted on November 03, 2017

Why Johnny. We literally don’t know what to say.


After a near-decade of loud and public eye-rolling at your love of gewgaws and trinkets and all sorts of super-precious Hot Topic sales bin items, the result of which was our declaration that you looked like an elderly gay windchime, we find ourselves largely shocked by your minimalism and somewhat delusionally self-satisfied that our haranguing wore you down. “This house,” as Tangina, one of our many patron goddesses, said in Poltergeist, “is clean.” It’s a good thing.

Next step is shoes that don’t look inflatable and perhaps an hour  looking at YouTube tutorials on how to tie a bow tie.

But this is all still great, Johnny! Positive reinforcement!

(Granted, now he look likes a porn site publisher, but we have to break him down before we can build him up again.)



[Photo Credit: Nils Jorgensen/, Doug Peters/PA Images/INSTARimages, INSTARimages]

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